In Too Deep
by Silver6
Summary: An interesting new family arrives in the Bay. However, things become difficult when the oldest daughter falls for a young lad with a very bad past. Is there any way of their relationship working out? Not if Kirsty has anything to do with it...
1. Prologue: The Family Arrives

**Summary:** Set in the near future. A new family arrive in the Bay and sparks are sure to fly.

**Disclaimer:** Neither Home & Away or the characters belong to me, but the new characters do. Don't take them without permission please.

****

In Too Deep: Prologue 

In the quiet fishing bay, everyone knew everyone else and people did not tend to leave or arrive often. Which was why it was quite a surprise when a large van pulled up outside the empty house next door to the Caravan Park. The house had been empty for a long time, and no one could remember exactly who owned it. During the day, as the Bay's residents went about their usual business, they paused and watched the two large burly men taking furniture and boxes inside. One or two of them tried to make conversation, in an effort to find out who was moving in, but the removal men would give nothing away. At the end of the day, when the van was empty, they packed up and went away, while the people of Summer Bay waited anxiously to meet their new neighbours.

They did not have to wait long. Two days later, very early in the morning while many people were still asleep, a pale blue van drove through the bay and stopped outside the house. Two dogs jumped out and rolled over in the grass, one a black and white collie, the other a large German Shepard. Their owners quickly followed them out. First came a tall woman in her early forties who was dressed in a plain skirt and jacket. Her light brown hair was tied back in a bun and the lines on her face and the tired look in her blue eyes showed that she had recently experienced hard times. A young, pretty looking woman in her early twenties who wore a sleeveless red top and a plain pair of black trousers and had her waist length blond hair up in a plait, followed her along with a tall, muscular young man, also in his early twenties. He had the same light brown hair and blue eyes as the older woman, although his head was shaved to only a few inches long, and he wore jeans, a leather jacket and black boots. The last two out of the van were two teenage girls, the oldest of whom paused to unfasten a baby boy from his car seat. The youngest was about thirteen and very pretty, her long light brown hair was tied up in a high ponytail and she wore a touch of make-up. She wore tracksuit bottoms and a low-cut shirt, completed with necklace, earrings and a bracelet and her blue eyes sparkled with delight as she looked around the bay. The oldest girl, about seventeen or so, was also pretty but in a more ordinary way. Her shoulder length hair was streaked with red and fell loose around her shoulders. She wore no make-up and only a plain silver chain around her neck for jewellery. She wore sports clothes and a white sports jacket and she appeared rather pale and withdrawn. The young child in her arms was smiling as he took in everything around him and the girl smoothed back his blond hair and gave him a kiss. The dogs sat on the doorstep, waiting patiently while the family took in their new surroundings.

The man put his arms around the young, blond haired woman and the older woman. In turn, the older woman put her arm around the youngest girl and the other woman put her arm around the girl with the baby. For a moment they stood in silence, just staring at the ocean. Finally the man spoke.

"Well," he said with a smile. "I guess we made it. We are really here." 

"We are really here," the older woman said, echoing his words. "This is it. A new start for us. Let's try to make our new life a little better than our old one."

"We can try," the girl with the baby muttered. "But there are some things that can never truly be left behind, are they?"

Silence fell again as she finished speaking. Then the man shook his head and walked towards the van.

"Best not to think too much about the past, little sister," he said quietly. "Let's just get ourselves and the rest of the stuff inside and get settled shall we?"  


	2. Chapter 1: Getting Settled

Chapter 1: Getting Settled

The furniture had already been put in its proper places and all that remained were for the family to unpack their personal belongings. It had been agreed, or rather ordered, that the unpacking would be done before anything else despite bitter complaints. So just ten minutes after entering the new house, the whole family were busy running up and down the stairs, arranging their rooms as they saw fit.

Seventeen-year-old Emma Alexander, the oldest of the two daughters, looked around her large bedroom at the front of the house and decided that she liked it. It was all arranged perfectly, the large bed, the cot in one corner, the two dogs beds in another, her wardrobe and her desk. Two large boxes and a bag containing her clothes and other belongings sat in the middle of the floor and two blue baby bags held the clothes of her one year old son, Jordan. Jordan seemed settled already, crawling around on the floor with the dogs, and getting in her way, and she was glad of that. He had not been conceived in the best of circumstances, but she loved him dearly and he was the most important thing in her world. The dogs, Shadow, her three-year-old collie and Laddie, the family's six-year-old German Shepard both seemed happy enough too. Emma knew that her family had undergone some hard times in recent years and she truly hoped that, at least for her mother's sake, things in Summer Bay would work out for them. As she carefully unpacked her CDs and put them on the shelf, she paused for a moment to look out of the window at the sandy beach, the deep blue ocean and the cloudy blue sky, and quickly came to the conclusion that moving certainly had had its good points, even if it could not wash away unpleasant memories…

In the next room, the smallest bedroom in the house, thirteen year old Lucy Alexander stood looking at all her belongings which had been tipped out of their bags and now lay scattered across her floor and her bed. Skimpy summer tops, shorts, swimming costumes, one or two books, CDs, videos were all there and she looked around, trying to decide what she was going to do with them. She hated putting things away and she really wanted to go outside, but her mother's rules had to be obeyed. Grumpily she pulled open a drawer and began putting things in it, just wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible. From next door, Lucy could hear the calm, gentle voice of her older sister Emma as she spoke to baby Jordan. Lucy had always loved her older sister, although the two girls were as different as night and day. Emma was quiet, shy and withdrawn where Lucy was outgoing and confident. Emma preferred to be alone, on the outside of things where Lucy loved being the centre of attention. Emma had loved school and Lucy hated it. Emma had quiet hobbies, reading, writing, listening to music and occasionally horse-riding or skateboarding. Lucy loved dancing, going to parties, swimming and hanging out with a large crowd of friends. She also wore make-up and rather revealing clothes and her older sister favoured comfortable sports gear. But most of all, Emma was mature, levelheaded and generally responsible when Lucy still often acted like a child. That was what young Lucy hated most, that and the fact that her sister was prone to depression and therefore was given a fair bit of attention. Nevertheless, they were still sisters and, although they had their fights, they looked out for each other as sisters did. And Emma needed someone to look out for her, Lucy thought grimly; since one of her main faults was that she was too nice and let people walk all over her. That gave the young girl an idea and she left her messy room and went next door to see her sister.

"Hey Emma!" she called through the closed door. "Have you finished?"

"Almost!" her sister called back. "Why?"

"Well in that case," Lucy pleaded. "You couldn't come and give me a hand, could you?"

"Do it yourself!" her older brother's voice drifted across the landing and Lucy made an offensive gesture towards his half-closed door. 

"Please Emma," she said again, smelling the delicious smell of bacon and eggs coming up the stairs. "Otherwise I'll never get it done before breakfast."

"Oh, okay," her sister gave a frustrated sigh. "You go and get started and I'll come and help you when I've got Jordan changed."

"Thanks sis," Lucy smiled to herself as she began to walk back to her own room. "You are the best sister in the world."

In the room across from Emma's, twenty-two year old Benny Alexander was busy unpacking his shirts, shaking his head and marvelling at his youngest sister's cheek. 

"She's too lazy for her own good, that one," he muttered as he threw one bag aside and began to unpack another. His girlfriend of three years, twenty-four year old Jessica Lovall, who was busy unpacking her make-up and hair accessories, gave a sigh at his words.

"She's only a kid, Benny," she pointed out, flicking her long blond hair over her shoulder. "Don't you remember being that age?"

"Of course I remember being that age," Benny gave a short laugh and turned to look at Jess. "Doesn't everyone?"

"Yes," Jess ran a hand through his hair and smiled lovingly at him. "So, what do you think of this place? Do you think we will all be happy here?"

"I hope so," the young man said thoughtfully, and he truly did. Times had been tough for the family in the last few years, what with him serving a prison sentence, his father running off with another woman, everything that had happened with Emma…Yes, things had been difficult all right. But they had survived, just like they had always survived. 

Jess watched him carefully. He seemed happy, and she liked to see him happy. But there was no reason for him not to be happy, he was with his family who he doted on and he had her. Not that their relationship hadn't been rocky at times. She had remembered how opposed her family had been to the relationship, which was why she had finally moved out and come to live with the Alexander's. At first she hadn't been completely sure about the move, had wanted her and Benny to get their own place, but now she loved it there. Susan Alexander, the mother, treated Jess like her own daughter and both Emma and Lucy treated her like an older sister. Yeah, everything had worked out before and she was certain that it would again.

The couple were jolted from their thoughts with a start when Lucy called out that breakfast was ready. 

Next chapter: The family meets the locals  

****

****


	3. Chapter 2: Meeting the Locals

A/N: Hey, I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. This is my first attempt at writing a Home & Away fanfic and I'm quite nervous about it, so I appreciate knowing what you people think. 

****

Chapter 2: Meeting the Locals 

Forty-three year old mother of three, Susan Alexander smiled as she began to prepare breakfast for her family. It was strange being in a new kitchen, but she was certain that she would get used to it in time. It was lovely, the whole house was lovely, and she was relieved to be able to get away from the old, stuffy, crowded town that they had used to live in and move to such a lovely place as Summer Bay. The house had belonged to Susan's grandfather, who had recently died and left it to her, and although she had never been to the Bay before, she had heard that it was a quiet, friendly place. Just the right place to start trying to rebuild their lives again…

Yes, Susan thought grimly, as she threw some bacon in the frying pan. The last four years hadn't been easy at all. First her son had been sentenced to a year in prison for assaulting a police officer, and then while he was inside, her husband had run off with another woman. Then Emma had been attacked and fallen pregnant with baby Jordan and then Lucy had started getting into trouble at school. Sometimes she had truly believed that their family was cursed.

As her three children and Jess hurried down the stairs with Jordan, followed by the two dogs, and quickly slid into the chairs, Susan put their plates in front of them and looked at them fondly. They weren't the easiest children to deal with, they never had been. Benny the oldest, who had left school at fourteen and spent four years following a life of crime before going to prison, had almost been the death of her many times. Even now that he was settled with Jess, he was still very short tempered and quick to lash out, especially if someone hurt his sisters, whom he was very protective of. Then there was Emma, the quiet, shy girl, who had never seemed to be able to come out of her shell. Years of bullying at school had made her very depressed and occasionally suicidal. She also had a tendency to hurt herself, which the whole family struggled to deal with. And of course being raped, splitting up with her long-term boyfriend and having a baby hadn't helped matters much. And finally Lucy, who had fallen in with a crowd of older kids and had started staying out late, getting into trouble and answering back when she was told off. Yes, she thought, as she watched them gobbling down their food, except Emma who was carefully feeding Jordan. They were difficult children indeed, but she loved them and she would do anything for them. All she wanted was for them to be safe and happy.

"So then," Lucy said as she finished her toast. "Now that we have done our rooms, can we please go exploring?"

"You have got to be joking." Benny shook his head. "You lot all went to sleep in the van, but I've been driving for most of the night. The only place I want to go is bed. Coming Jess?"

"Why not?" Jess pushed back her chair and laughed as her boyfriend took her hand and brought it to his lips. Lucy pretended to be sick, while Emma flashed them a small smile.

"I get the feeling that those two aren't actually going to get much sleep," Lucy scowled, as the two went up the stairs, hand in hand. "I want to go exploring."

"You can't go wandering around a strange place on your own." Susan said firmly. "Absolutely not."

"Emma…" Lucy looked at her sister. Emma looked at Jordan and gave a sigh.

"We can go for a short walk around, I suppose," she said after a moment. "Although Jordan is going to need a nap in about an hour, so we'll have to be back before then. Is that all right, mum?"

"Yes, go on then," Susan said as she gathered up the empty plates. "And maybe later we can all go exploring properly. As a family."

"Brilliant," Lucy jumped up from the table and ran up the stairs. "I'll just get ready."

Ten minutes later, the two girls and Jordan were finally ready to go. Lucy was pleased to be outside, although Emma was a little nervous, but nevertheless, the older girl kept her promise. As they walked along, quite a few people stopped and stared at them, while a couple of people came up and introduced themselves. One was a nice woman named Sally and she and Emma talked for several minutes. She asked about Jordan and was shocked when Emma revealed that he was her child, but she didn't probe any deeper and Emma liked her all the more for that. Another person they spoke to was an older man who called himself Donald Fisher and Lucy got excited when they bumped into a good-looking boy, just slightly older than Emma, who told them that his name was Alex. Everyone seemed very friendly and were anxious to make the newcomers feel at home. 

Outside the beach diner, they bumped into a group of four young students, all of whom looked about fourteen or fifteen. There were two young girls with long, blond hair who looked like twins, a tall boy with blond hair and another boy who was slightly shorter, with dark hair. 

"Hey!" one of the girls greeted. "You must be from the new family who have just moved in. I'm Kirsty Sutherland, this is my twin sister Jade, my boyfriend Seb and Jade's boyfriend, Nick."

"Nice to meet you." Emma replied and Lucy nodded. "I'm Emma Alexander, my younger sister Lucy and little Jordan."

"Aww," Jade bent down to look at the baby. "He's so sweet. How old is he?"

"He was a year old just a few weeks ago," Emma said proudly, reaching down and gently stroking his hair. "He's a lovely baby, but he's a bit of a handful."

"So what do you do around here?" Lucy asked, feeling excluded from the conversation. "Does anything good happen?"

"Sometimes," Kirsty told her and Emma gave a sigh of relief to see that the topic of conversation appeared to have changed. "We were going to hang out in the diner for a while. Would you like to join us?"

"Of course," Lucy said at once. "That would be great, right Em?"

"Well, I guess so." Emma said, a little more hesitant. "If you are sure that you don't mind."

"Of course we don't." Nick said at once, and Seb nodded his agreement. "It's nice to see some new faces around here." 

After ordering drinks, the teenagers sat and talked for a while. Emma and Lucy spoke briefly about the rest of their family and the older sister was finally forced to reveal that Jordan was her son when Seb asked. They seemed quite shocked, but they were also curious and asked several questions about what it was like bringing up a baby. Emma was honest and told them that it was very hard work, not easy like some people seemed to think. Then the talk turned to their new-found friends. The Alexander girls discovered that Kirsty and Jade had an older sister, Dani, and that their parents ran the caravan park. 

After a while, Emma had to go as Jordan was getting sleepy. But she and Lucy made plans to meet with the Sutherland family on the beach later that day. They were both pleased that they had made some new friends, Lucy especially, and that the locals all seemed very friendly. Emma was sure that her family would have no problem fitting in.


	4. Chapter 3: New Friends and an Invitation

Some of this chapter was written by my friend, Risty! Thanks Risty!

Chapter 3: New Friends and an Invitation

****

Emma and Lucy walked back toward their new house, trying to remember the way that they had come. There on the path was a girl about Emma's age, holding a piece of chalk. She was drawing a hopscotch board on the pavement for the little girl next to her, who Emma assumed was her sister. The older girl had waist length, light brown hair, green eyes and a friendly, open-looking face. She glanced up as Emma and Lucy walked by.

"Hey there!" she said with a smile. "You two new around here?"

"Yes," Emma smiled back, taking an instant liking to the girl. "I'm Emma Alexander and this…"

"I'm Lucy," her sister interrupted. "Who are you?"

"Alleesha," the girl replied at once. "Alleesha Katrina Andrews. AKA," Alleesha sniggered. "Get it? My initials? AKA? Allee Kat. Or just Allee."

The sisters laughed and Emma shook the hand that Allee offered. Then her eyes fell on Jordan. 

"Who's the oh-so-gorgeous kiddo?" she asked. "He's lovely."

"That was the wrong question to ask," Lucy muttered under her breath. Emma took no notice.

"His name is Jordan," she told her. "He's my baby."

At first Allee looked shocked, although Emma was used to people reacting that way so it didn't bother her, but then she looked kind of impressed. 

"Hey cool," she said with a smile. "Bet he's a right handful. Like my little sister here."

"I'm five and a half," the little girl held up five fingers. "My name's Gina." Allee rolled her eyes at Emma. 

"I'm the eldest of nine kids," she stated dramatically. Emma's jaw dropped and Lucy looked amazed.

"Nine?" she said, looking at her older sister and Jordan and then back to Allee. "Wow. Your mother must be a strong woman."

"Mum?" Allee shook her head, a lightly sad look in her eyes. "Nope. She died when Gina was born. Gina and I live here with my grandmother, the others live with my dad and my aunt."

"Really?" Emma looked shocked. "I'm sorry. That must have been so awful."  
"It's not so bad any more." Allee said honestly. "Gina didn't know her and I…well I miss her, but life goes on, doesn't it?"

"It sure does," Lucy agreed. "Our dad cleared off about three ears ago and we haven't had any contact with him since. We miss him, but what can we do? It was his choice to go and all we can do is get on with it."

"Lucy," Emma said, kneeling down to put the pacifier in Jordan's mouth. "Why don't you play a couple of games of hopscotch with Gina? Just for five minutes or so."

"Do I have-" Lucy began and then saw the look on her sister's face. "Oh, all right," she agreed. "As long as you aren't going to sit there talking all day."

"So," Emma started as she and Allee sat on the wall. "Tell me about yourself. And all these brothers and sisters, of course." 

"Well I'm Allee and I'm seventeen," the girl began. "Then there's Jackie, who's fifteen, Annie, who's thirteen, Michael, who's twelve, then the twins, Louise and Kirby who're ten, Rick, who's eight, Alexia who's seven and then Gina, who's five."

"And a half." Gina said casually, not turning her head. Allee laughed. 

"Wow!" Emma said. "They must be a lot of hard work."

"You got any brothers and sisters?"

"I have a brother, Benny, who is twenty-two," Emma told her. "And then there's Lucy. She's thirteen. I'm the middle kid; I turned seventeen about a month ago. There's also my brother's girlfriend Jess who is very much like a sister to us. She's twenty-four and she used to be a police officer, but now she's training to become a teacher."

"Cool," Allee nodded. "Have you met many of the locals yet?"

"Yes, I have actually." Emma informed her. "I've met Sally Fletcher, Alex someone or other, Donald Fisher and the Sutherland twins and their boyfriends. Lucy and I are meant to be meeting them on the beach this afternoon. Everyone is so friendly."

"I know," Emma's new friend agreed. "I know the Sutherland twins, their older sister Dani is one of my friends around here. Mind if I meet you down there? We could hang out for a while."

"Sure," Emma agreed at once. "That would be cool. I think that we are meeting about half-past two."

"Right then, I'll be there," Allee promised. "See you later. It was nice meeting you."

"And you, Allee" Emma bent down to look in the pushchair and smiled when she saw that her son was fast asleep. "Come on Lucy!" she called. "It's time we were getting back. I bet it's almost lunch time and Jordan's already asleep."  

Lucy waved to Gina and obediently followed her sister down the street. Emma was beginning to feel glad that they had moved here. It was good to make new friends so quickly and a new start was what the entire family needed.

They did meet up with Allee and the others at the beach later on, and even Emma had rather a good time. She didn't really feel comfortable with the twins, partly because they were younger than her, although she had a fair bit in common with Jade and the two managed to have a nice discussion about books, much to Kirsty and Lucy's disgust. Lucy seemed to get on brilliantly with them and Emma noticed that the four of them were already treating her as part of their group. She didn't mind much however, for she and Allee spent most of the afternoon talking and joking around and the more time that she spent with her, the more Emma grew to like her. Allee seemed very mature for her years and very confidence and outgoing, yet she was a good listener. As they parted that night, they agreed to meet up again the next morning. Emma was certain that she had found a good friend.

Over the next two or three days, the Alexander family gradually began to settle in properly. Lucy was enrolled in the local school, where Kirsty, Jade, Nick and Seb all attended and, since it was still the summer, she spent a lot of time hanging around with them. Benny got a day job on the boats and although he quickly got to know the other guys on the beach, he preferred to keep himself to himself. The only person he really got on with was Alf Steward, due to their shared love of boats, and the two spent many of their lunch times discussing them. Susan became friends with Shelly Sutherland after she came round to see how they were settling in and, although she did not have a job, she was happy being a stay at home mother. Jess had spoken to Donald Fisher about possibly getting a job in the school once it opened again and she was feeling fairly positive about it. And Emma, in between taking care of Jordan, spent her time with Allee, although the two of them mostly spent their time watching videos, having a laugh, playing with Jordan and eating chocolate, since Emma wasn't over keen on going outside much. After their first meeting, the two became firm friends and after their second day together, Emma briefly told her about the rape she had endured aged fifteen, the rape that had ended in her having Jordan. Allee was sad and horrified that anyone could do such a thing, especially to such a sweet person as Emma. When the young girl had finished her story, she began to cry and Allee hugged her. As Emma returned the hug, she knew that she had found a special friend. 

Four days after their arrival in the Bay, Shelley was having morning coffee with Susan when she casually mentioned the beach party that had been planned for that night.

"It's great fun," she told her new friend. "We have them fairly often around here and it's a lovely chance for everyone to get together and relax. Nearly everyone in the Bay comes and we have music and a barbecue and all that."

"It sounds like a lot of fun." Susan smiled and picked up her cup. "We'll come down, for a while at least. It'll be a good opportunity to mix with our neighbours a little more."

Next chapter: The beach party and another new friend for Emma.  

  
  



	5. Chapter 4: A Beach Party

Chapter 4: A Beach Party

When her family were seated around the dinner table that evening, supper being the only meal that they usually ate together, Susan casually mentioned that Shelly had told her about the local beach party.

"I think we should go," she told them. "Mix with our neighbours and get to know some of them a little more. I only really know Shelly and I'd like to get to know the others a bit better. After all, we'll probably be spending a long time here and we need…"

"All right, mum, all right," Benny gave a sigh. "We'll all go down there for a while. Who knows, it might be a laugh. What do you say, Jess?"

"Why not?" his girlfriend smiled as she reached for the orange juice. "Besides, I get bored with sitting in night after night. If it's that bad then we always come home."

"Of course it isn't going to be bad!" Lucy said at once. "How can you even think that? It's a party and parties are just great! Tonight is going to be so cool!"

"Oh, to be thirteen again," Benny muttered sarcastically.  

"So it's decided," Susan said firmly. "We'll all go down there for a while and see what it's like."

"I'm not coming," Emma said at once, as she tried to tempt Jordan with a spoon of mashed banana. "You lot go and have fun."

"Emma, you can't just spend your life avoiding social gatherings forever," her mother told her. "You and Jordan come along, you might enjoy yourself. You need to get out and enjoy yourself more, doesn't she, Jess?" Both her brother and her brother's girlfriend nodded.

"I know that," Emma said patiently. "I just don't feel like it tonight."

"You have to come, Emma." Lucy said at once. "Come on, I know that you don't like parties, but Allee will be there and it'll be a right laugh and you don't have to stay for long. And you might meet a nice boy…" she broke off as Jess, Benny and her mother glared. 

"Oh all right," her oldest sister agreed, finally giving up and lifting her son out of the highchair. "Come on Jordan," she said fondly, gently kissing the top of his head. "If we are going out, then we had better give you a bath."

The family, completed with dogs, arrived at the beach just after seven to find that the party was just beginning. Shelley and her husband Rhys, who seemed to have been watching out for them, instantly approached them. While Lucy dashed off to find Kirsty and Jade, Emma, Benny and Jess stayed and spoke to the Sutherlands for a few minutes, before wandering off and leaving their mum to her own devices. Benny briefly paused to talk to Alf, before they were approached by Sally Fletcher and her boyfriend, who she introduced as Flynn. Within just a few minutes, the four of them went off together to get some drinks, chatting away like old friends. Emma didn't go with them, although she knew that they wouldn't have minded. Instead she looked around for Allee. Finally she saw her standing with a group of young people, about her age. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and she wore a dark blue bikini top and white denim shorts. She saw Emma and waved her over. On her way over to her friend, Emma was stopped by an older lady who introduced herself as Irene and a young woman named Leah who had a young baby boy named VJ, although he was a lot younger than Jordan. Both wanted to know about her baby and she patiently answered their questions until they finally left her alone to go over to Allee.

"Hey Emma," Allee greeted her. "Glad you made it. I wasn't too sure if you would be coming or not."

"I got talked into it," Emma said with a grin. "Who are your friends?"

"That's Dani Sutherland," Allee answered, pointing to a pretty-looking girl with long, dark blond hair. "Alex," she pointed to a tall, muscular boy with dark hair and a tan. "And Josh West."

"Hello." Dani smiled and held out her hand. "You must be Emma Alexander. My mother has told me a lot about you. It's nice to meet you."

"And you." Emma shook the extended hand and smiled warmly. "Summer Bay seems like a great place to live."

"Oh it is," Josh agreed. "I could never imagine leaving." He smiled at Dani, who smiled back at him and squeezed his arm.

"Nice kid," Alex commented. "What's his name?"

"Jordan."

"Is he your brother?" Dani asked. "He's gorgeous."

"Actually, he's my son." Emma told them. They looked shocked and she shook her head. "Long story," she said. "Not something that I really want to talk about."

"Wow, look at Hayley!" Josh said suddenly, causing the others to leave the subject alone and turn to look at the wide ocean. Emma noticed an athletic looking girl with bleached blond hair out on a board, who she assumed was Hayley. Surfing beside her was a tanned guy with dark hair. 

"That's her boyfriend, Noah," Allee whispered. Emma nodded, feeling rather uncomfortable. She wasn't used to these sort of social situations, back where they used to live she had rarely mixed with anyone for the last two years. Allee noticed that her friend didn't look too happy and put a hand on her arm. 

"You want to go and sit down?" she asked. Emma nodded and Allee turned back to the others. "I catch you guys later!" she called and they all nodded and shouted their goodbyes.

The two of them settled in some beach chairs, and Emma placed Jordan on the sand to play with the two dogs. Benny, Jess, Sally and Flynn sat not too far away from them; deep in conversation, and Emma could also see her mum sitting on a blanket with Shelley and Rhys. Lucy and her friends were down at the water's edge, splashing each other playfully. Other people sat in groups, talking, laughing and eating. Pop music played in the background and some of the men had set up a barbecue. Allee excused herself for a moment and came back with two cans of soft drink and two hotdogs for them. Emma took out Jordan's bottle and a biscuit. 

"So where's Gina?" she asked. Allee shrugged.

"She's with my grandma, she replied. "Grandma doesn't mix with the locals much and she doesn't like things like this. Gina does sometimes, but it's a bit late for her to be out and about."

"Tell me that it's none of my business if you like," Emma said carefully. "But what did your mum die of?"

"She died of ovarian cancer," Allee said quietly. "It's a wonder that Gina even survived. It was lucky."

"I'm sorry," Emma told her. The two girls fell into silence for a while, until Susan came over.

"I'm going back home now," she told her daughter. "I noticed that Jordan was looking a bit sleepy and I was wondering if you would like me to take back with me."

"All right," she agreed after a moment. She picked Jordan up, along with his bottle, gave him a kiss on the forehead and handed him to her mother. "Thanks mum" she said with a smile. "I won't be too long myself."

"Keep the dogs with you if you plan to walk home by yourself," Susan warned. Emma laughed.

"Don't you worry about me, mum," she said casually. "See you later."

"You are very lucky to have a mum like her," Allee commented as Susan walked away. "She's really nice."

"She can be tough when she wants to," her friend told her. "She's had to be, what with everything our family has been through."

Their conversation gradually drifted to more cheerful things over the next hour, including surfing. Emma confessed that she had always wanted to learn to surf and Allee told her the Flynn sometimes gave lessons.

"You should try it," she said. "Maybe we could learn together."

"I might just take you up on that offer," Emma smiled and then yawned. "Sorry," she said. "I was up twice with Jordan last night and I'm rather tired. I might get back if you don't mind."

"Of course," Allee nodded. "I'll walk part of the way back with you if you like."

"I'd like that," Emma told her. "I'll just go and tell Benny that we're going."

After talking to Benny and Jess, who were still having a laugh with Sally and Flynn, Emma and Allee left the beach and began the walk home. Benny had said that he would keep an eye on Lucy and that the three of them would probably be home in about an hour. It was about ten o'clock now and it was beginning to get dark, but Emma had the feeling that several of the Bay's residents would be there until the early hours of the morning. She was certain that Lucy would if she was given the choice.

They walked back to Allee's house, to find that all the lights were off and her grandma and little sister were in bed. She invited Emma in briefly for a drink and the two had a laugh as they discussed who was the cutest guy in Summer Bay. After about twenty minutes, Emma said goodbye to her friend and arranged to meet her on the beach the next day, before she, Shadow and Laddie left to begin the short walk home.

Despite having the dogs with her, Emma disliked walking in the dark, especially in streets that were still rather unfamiliar to her. As she passed by the Diner, Shadow began to growl and she jumped and looked around wildly.

"It's all right," a male voice said suddenly from somewhere in the shadows. "I'm sorry if I scared you, I was just taking a walk."

"No, it's…it's okay," Emma quickly called Shadow to her and clipped on his short lead as the boy stepped into view. "He just hates any male who he doesn't know."

"I can see," the boy said with a half-smile. He was tall, tanned and rather muscular like the other boys on the beach. He had light brown hair, which was rather messy and very deep, interesting eyes…

"I don't remember seeing you at the beach party," Emma said, mainly because she couldn't think of anything else to say. The boy shook his head.

"I wasn't there," he said simply. "I only arrived back in town today and the locals…don't like me very much."

"Really?" Emma was surprised. "They seem like a friendly lot to me."

"Well, I crossed some of them in the past," he said with a shrug. "People bear grudges. You're new around here aren't you?"

"Yes," she nodded and smiled. "I'm Emma Alexander. My family have just moved in the empty house by the caravan park."

"Nice to meet you, Emma," the boy said sincerely. "I'm Kane. Kane Philips."

"And it's nice to meet you too, Kane," Emma said at once. "Well, I'd better be going before it gets too late. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll bump into each other again." Kane smiled briefly and turned away. "See you."

"See you," Emma echoed, also turning and quickly walking in the direction of home.

  
  



	6. Chapter 5: A Late Night Walk

Chapter 5: A Late Night Walk

****

Emma didn't think about Kane again that night, by the time she got in, she was far too tired and when she got up to see to Jordan during the night, the only thing that she was focused on was her baby. And she didn't think about him at the breakfast table either, even though the rest of her family were discussing the party and the local residents. Jess had arranged to meet up with Sally while Benny was at work, it seemed that they had gotten on very well the night before. But during the morning, when she and Allee were babysitting for Leah Patterson, who was Allee's cousin, he suddenly popped into her thoughts.

"Allee," she said quietly, gently encouraging her son to eat his mashed cottage pie. "I don't suppose you know Kane Philips?"

"I've heard of him," her friend scowled. "His aunt is friends with my gran. He's not a very nice person, he's had a lot of trouble with the Sutherland family and he has quite a bad reputation around here. He left town a while ago, before I arrived here away. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," Emma said, deciding not to tell her friend that he was back. "I heard some of the locals talking about him and I was just curious, that's all."

"Fair enough," Allee smiled. "Anyway, what are we going to do today? Stay in and watch movies? Take a walk? Sit in here all day?"

Apart from that brief chat with Allee, Emma did not think about Kane at all, not any more than she thought about Alf or Donald Fisher or any of the other residents of the Bay. In fact, what with caring for Jordan and everything else, he had become just a vague memory by the time she saw him again three days later…

It had been just another normal day for the family. Benny had been at work, Jess had been with Sally and Flynn, Lucy had been hanging out with Kirsty and Jade, and had been bugging her mum about letting her get a part time job ever since she had come home and Emma had gone with Allee and Gina to the beach with Jordan where they had met up with Dani, Josh, Hayley and Noah. Shadow and Laddie needed a late night walk at about ten o'clock before the family retired to bed and usually Benny took them, since Susan couldn't handle them both together and Lucy wasn't strong enough. However, he had been complaining of having a headache ever since he came home from work and Emma volunteered to take them out. Her family could see no reason why not and so the oldest daughter left Jordan with her mother and left the house, the two dogs in tow. 

Although Emma had not taken the dogs out alone at night since the family had moved to Summer Bay, she had done it for the last year where they had lived before and she enjoyed it. She enjoyed walking along the dark, quiet streets at a time when there were few people around. It was nice to get away from her family for a while, to be able to relax and briefly forget the pressures of being a daughter and a mother. 

As she stepped onto the beach, she released the dogs and they tore off across the sand towards the sea. Emma slipped off her shoes and walked slowly after them. Occasionally she lost sight of them as they darted behind rocks and into the water, but she knew that they would both come back when she whistled, so she just let them get on with it. 

As she came up to the jetty, the young girl noticed someone standing there, staring out across the ocean. As she got nearer, he turned and she recognised him as the boy she had spoken to a few days before. 

"Hey," he said with a smile. "I knew that we'd meet again. Emma, wasn't it?"

"Yes," Emma gave him a brief smile in return. "And you're Kane."

"You remembered," he seemed pleased by that. "You here with your dogs?"

"Yes."

"Mind if I walk along with you," he asked. "Just for a bit."

"Well," Emma hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say. He seemed nice enough, despite what Allee had said, but she didn't know him and she wasn't in the habit of trusting men. "I suppose so," she said finally, figuring that even if he did turn out to be a rapist, she still had the dogs at hand. "If you like."

They turned round and walked back the way she had just come, the dogs running in front of them. At first their conversation was awkward, but soon they were chatting away like old friends. Although she didn't completely let his guard down, by the time she had reached the street again, she felt at ease with Kane. He was very polite, friendly and he made her laugh. She found out that he was almost nineteen, that he stayed with his aunt when he was in town and he liked boats, surfing and being by the sea. Emma told him a little about herself, her age, where she lived, a little about her family. She was almost disappointed when she had to go.

"It was nice talking to you, Emma." Kane said when they reached her corner. "I'm not around here much during the day, but do you think that maybe you will be on the beach again tomorrow evening?"

"Oh, I don't know," Emma smiled and shrugged. "Anything is possible. See you, Kane."

"Bye Emma," he said as he turned and began to walk away. "See you later."


	7. Chapter 6: Secrets

Chapter 6: Secrets

****

Emma took the dogs out almost every night over the next week or so and every night she met Kane at the beach. However, she told no one, not even Allee, about her meetings with him. She knew that her friend didn't like him, although she couldn't quite see why, and besides the subject never really came up. She didn't tell her family either, because she knew that Lucy would make more out of it than there really was and that her mum, Benny and Jess would be worried and want to meet him. And besides, she liked having a little secret and she didn't see how keeping it quiet for a while was going to really hurt anyone, especially since her and Kane's relationship was completely innocent. Her family did question her as to why she was so anxious to take the dogs out in the evenings, but she just told them that she liked getting out on her own after a hard day with Jordan and they accepted that.

The more Emma saw of Kane, the more friendly they became. Although she took care never to get too close to him physically, Emma found herself beginning to trust him. They found it easy to talk to each other, they made each other laugh and they had several shared interests, including a love of animals and walking by the sea. She also discovered that he liked surfing and boats. As they grew closer, Emma told him about her brother going to prison, the bullying she had suffered at school and her father leaving. He listened and in return he told her of how he had grown up without any parents and how he didn't speak to his brother any more either. After they had been meeting for over a week, Emma finally plucked up the courage to mention her son.

"Do you ever hang around here during the day?" she asked as they were walking along the beach. Kane thought for a moment and then nodded.

"I see you around occasionally," he told her. "You and your sister and that little boy. Is he your brother?"

"My son," Emma said immediately. Kane looked surprised. "A mistake," she continued before he could say anything. "I have no contact with his father."

"Oh, right." Kane nodded again and fell silent. Emma was a little embarrassed, but pleased that it was out in the open. She was also pleased that he asked no further questions about it, for she did not really want to tell him about the rape. It wasn't something that she liked to talk about or even think about for that matter.

"It doesn't bother you, does it?" she asked as they paused at the corner where they always said goodbye. "About my son?"

"Why should it?" he said at once. "I was a bit surprised, but I'm your friend and I can't judge you for making mistakes. I've made plenty myself."

"Thanks," Emma smiled at him and he grinned back. "Sometimes people get a bit…funny about it and I don't want it to spoil our friendship. There are some nice people around here, but there aren't many who I can actually talk to."

"Well you have no problems there," Kane told her. "In fact, I'm pleased that you trusted me enough to talk to me about it." There was an embarrassing silence before he cleared his throat and turned away. "I'm out of town for the next two or three days," he continued after a moment. "Just a couple of things that I have to do. I'll see you when I get back."

"Okay," Emma agreed. "See you."

She watched him walk away until he was out of sight, before calling for the dogs and continuing her own walk home…

Next chapter: Trouble with Lucy.


	8. Chapter 7: Trouble with Lucy

**Chapter 7: Trouble with Lucy**

****

While Kane was out of town, Emma realised with a start that she missed him. They had become good friends in the short time that they had known each other and walking the dogs just didn't seem the same without him. It was strange to her, she hadn't been able to trust a man since the rape and the end of her only serious relationship, but she was beginning to trust Kane. But she busied herself with caring for her son and hanging out with her friends. She had coffee with Leah and the two discussed their children and how adorable they were, even if they were hard work, she went to the Diner with Allee and when Jess offered to look after Jordan for a few hours, she went to the beach with Allee, Lucy, Max, Nick, Seb and the twins. The twins and Nick were trying to help Max with his surfing technique and, at their insistence, Emma borrowed Kristy's board and Allee borrowed Jade's board and the two of them went into the water with Nick. They didn't do very well at first, but it was a good laugh and Emma was glad that she had made so many new friends. Lucy seemed more relaxed and happy too, not nearly as troublesome as she had been before the move. Or at least that was what Emma thought…

Susan was always happy for her children to have their friends over, both for dinner and overnight, and Shelley was the same. The two mothers had become very good friends and Lucy and Kirsty regularly stayed over each other's houses. Sometimes Jade stayed too, but mainly it was just Kirsty. Allee stayed once or twice, but Emma couldn't stay over there before Jordan didn't like sleeping in strange places. So Emma thought absolutely nothing of it when, two days later, she heard Lucy asking her mum if she could stay over at the Sutherland's that night. Their mother was busy making lunch and was rushed off her feet, so she just nodded. Lucy, Jade and Kirsty looked at each other and Emma was sure that she saw them wink at each other. Then Jordan spat all his peas out and she forgot about it as she dealt with her son. 

That day, she, Allee, Leah, Gina, Jordan and VJ went to Yabbie Creek to do some shopping. Emma and Leah brought some lovely baby clothes for the children and Leah and Allee talked Emma into buying a little black bikini and some shorts, although usually she never wore things like that. After they had finished, they had something to eat in a little café and had a long talk.

"How are you holding up these days, Emma?" Leah asked, sipping her tea. VJ was getting quite fidgety, but Emma gave him some of Jordan's toys and that calmed him down a little. Leah knew about the rape, Emma had told her when they had coffee and she was one of the few people in the Bay who did know. Emma really liked her, because they both had children of a similar age, they had a lot to talk about and they understood each other. 

"Better," the girl answered at once. "Mum was right, moving here was a good idea. I still have the memories and everything…but they are a little easier to deal with now."

"I'm glad." Leah said sincerely. "You know that if you ever want to talk and you don't want to worry your family, you can always come to me. I'm a good listener, Allee will tell you that."

"She is," Allee agreed, glancing up and smiling at her cousin, before going back to helping Gina cut up her sausages. She didn't seem to mind that Emma was getting along so well with Leah. That was the good thing about Allee, Emma privately though. She was so easygoing that very little seemed to bother her.

It was growing dark when they finally arrived back in the Bay. It had been a good day and Emma felt rather happy as she said goodbye, first to Leah and then to Allee. However, when she let herself in and her mum rushed into the hallway, a worried look on her face, she knew that something was very wrong.

"What is it?" she asked, lifting Jordan from his pushchair and dropping her bags on the hall floor. "Mum, has something happened?"

"Lucy's gone," Susan said weakly. "You know that she said that she was staying at the Sutherland's tonight?"

"Yes?" Emma nodded and then suddenly guessed what was coming next. "She's not there?"

"No," her mother shook her head. Her daughter sighed.

"Are you sure that they are not just late back home or something?" she asked. 

"Shelley called here," her mother explained. "She wanted to speak to Kirsty. Kirsty and Jade both told their parents that it was all right for them to stay here tonight."

"Oh no," Emma clutched Jordan tighter to her and sunk to the floor. "So Shelley thought that they were here and we thought that Lucy was there. What are they playing at?"

"I have no idea," Susan said quietly, sitting beside her daughter. "Shelley has spoken to Seb and Nick, but neither of them have seen them since this afternoon. Rhys and Dani are searching the beach, Josh has gone out in the boat and Benny and Jess are checking the Surf club and the Diner. If they aren't in any of those places then…"

"I'm going to help them," Emma said at once. "Take Jordan, mum, and put him to bed for me. And please, try not to worry too much. I'm sure that we'll find them soon."

She whistled for Laddie, deciding not to take Shadow because he could be rather energetic and was too much of a handful at a time like this whereas Laddie was older and easier to handle, plus he didn't need a leash. Then she pulled on her jacket, kissed her mum and her son and went out into the night, shutting the door gently behind her. Lucy was going to be in such big trouble this time, she thought grimly. Of all the stupid stunts she had pulled over the years, this was by far the worst…

After thinking for a moment, Emma realised that she had recently heard Lucy talking with the twins about how much fun it would be to camp out overnight by themselves. And then she remembered with a start that there was a tiny woodland area just north of the caravan park. The family had passed it on their way into the Bay and Jess had pointed it out to the rest of them. It couldn't have been very big, but it would be the prefect place for three girls to camp out. They were there, she was almost certain of it. The question was what was she going to do? It had been about twenty minutes away from the caravan park by car; it would take her almost twice as long to walk it. And if she found the girls there how was she supposed to get them to come home? Then she shrugged her thoughts aside and decided to see if they were there first. She would worry about the rest later. 

She followed the narrow road through the caravan park and discovered that there was a muddy track for vehicles on the other side. Although Emma could not remember exactly where the wood was, and it was too dark to see very far in front of her face, she figured that if she stuck to the track she couldn't get lost and she would come across it eventually. 

After fifteen minutes of stumbling along, falling into holes and wishing that she had thought to bring a torch, Emma noticed the brightness of car headlights coming towards her. She paused, as did Laddie who had been stuck by her side like glue all the time, keeping her eyes fixed on the car. It didn't go past however, instead it stopped just beside her and a familiar figure leant out of the window.

"Emma!" Kane sounded very surprised to see her. "What are you doing all the way out here by yourself. And at this time of night."

"Kane!" Emma was pleased and relieved to see him. "I'm looking for my sister, Lucy. She and the Sutherland twins have disappeared and everyone is looking for them. I know that it's a long shot, but I thought that I might try that small piece of woodland that's supposed to be around here somewhere. They were talking about camping out, so…" she trailed off and shrugged. Kane looked at her for a moment and shook his head.

"You're mad," he said plainly. "Stumbling around here in the dark just because you thought they might be there." Emma blushed and he gave a weary smile. "I know the place you mean," he told her. "I've just passed it. Jump in and we'll go take a look."

"Are you sure?" Emma asked hesitantly. "I don't want to be any trouble…"

"Just get in the car," Kane insisted. "It can be dangerous out here, especially at night. It isn't any trouble."

"Okay," Emma agreed, pulling open the back door and ushering Laddie in, before going around to the front seat. "Thank you."

"No problem." After Emma ordered Laddie to lie down on the back seat, Kane turned the car around and they set off. For a moment or two, there was silence.

"So," Emma said finally. "You're back, I see."

"Yes." Kane nodded, his eyes focused on the road as he searched for the correct turning. "I'll be staying in the bay for a while now."

"That's great," she blurted out, and then blushed as she realised how it must of sounded. "I missed you…I mean I…"

"I know what you meant," he turned to her for a second and flashed her a brief smile. "I missed you too. You and the dogs. I haven't had many friends in my life and it isn't often that I find someone who I can talk to as well as I can talk to you." He stopped suddenly and silence once more fell over the car. Emma felt rather embarrassed and it was obvious that he felt the same, he didn't seem at ease talking about his feelings and she could understand that for she was exactly the same. Sometimes it amazed her how much they were alike in some ways.

A couple of minutes later, Kane stopped the car and Emma saw that they were right in front of the trees. 

"Come on," he said, opening his door. "Let's go and see if they are here."

The girl nodded, let Laddie out of the car and together the three of them walked into the woods.

Emma had been right, the wood was not large and they didn't have to search for long. They had only been walking for a couple of minutes, when they heard giggling. 

"That's Lucy," Emma said at once. "I'd know her laugh anywhere."

"Lucky guess," Kane gave a short laugh. "It's coming from over here."

When they followed the giggling to a small clearing, they were both shocked at what they saw. Lucy, Kirsty and Jade were all sitting in a circle giggling away and three empty wine bottles lay on the ground next to them. It was immediately obviously that all three of them were drunk. Lucy was the first to notice her sister and Kane.

"Hello Emma," she said, her voice slurred. "Who's your friend? He's hot."

"You're drunk," Emma scowled at her younger sister and had to fight back the urge to give her a good shake. "Do you have any idea how worried we have all been?"

"Kane!" Kirsty had gotten unsteadily to her feet and stumbled into his arms, while Jade just grinned stupidly to herself. "I didn't know you were back."

"Just arrived back recently," Kane said awkwardly. Kirsty slipped her arms around him and tried to kiss him on the mouth, but he quickly turned his head away so that her lips just brushed his cheek. 

"I'm so pleased to see you," she told him, too drunk to notice his discomfort. "I've really missed you."

"Right," he said carefully, removing her hand from his chest and putting an arm around her to support her. "Emma, I think we should get these three back to the car."

"I think we had better," Emma agreed. The sight of Kirsty draped all over Kane was causing a funny feeling in her stomach. Jealously, her brain screamed, but she just shrugged it off. Sure, Kane was attractive and she liked him, but she didn't like him in that way and it was none of her business who he chose to date and who he had been with in the past. He was just a friend to her and that was all.

She helped up Jade, who seemed slightly more far gone than the other two, and passed her over to Kane, who was struggling to stop Kirsty kissing his neck. He firmly pushed her away once again and latched his other arm around Jade's waist so that he was supporting both twins. Emma pulled Lucy to her feet and together they staggered to the car and managed to get the three girls in the back seat.

"Well at least they are safe," Kane said with a sigh. "Let's just get them home to bed."

"Good idea," Emma agreed, slipping into her seat. Laddie sat on the floor between her feet and rested his head on her leg. In the back, Lucy and Kirsty were giggling at nothing in particular and Jade had slumped against the door, her eyes closed.

They drove back in silence, except for the occasional groans and constant giggling coming from the back seat, for about five minutes until Emma couldn't keep silent any longer.

"What made you do such a stupid thing?" she asked her sister. "Going off like that…anything could have happened."

"But it didn't though," Lucy said at once. "We just wanted some fun, that's all. I'm sick of being treated like a baby…" she broke off and her older sister suddenly realised what was going to happen.

"Open the window," she said urgently, but it was too late. Lucy threw up all over herself and the back seat of the car. Kirsty quickly followed suit and Emma groaned.

"Kane," she said quickly. "I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault," he told her at once. "Besides, I think most of us have done it at some time or other. I'll hose it down later, it's no big deal."

"Well it shouldn't be," Kirsty said quickly. "We have done worse in this car, haven't we, Kane?"

"Shut up!" Kane scowled and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying." Before she could say anything else, he pressed a button on the tape player and the car was filled with loud rock music. The rest of the drive was completed in silence and Emma, who was beginning to feel the strange feelings of jealousy rising again for reasons that she couldn't understand, was glad of that.

Kane parked just out of sight of the Sutherland house and helped Emma to get Jade and Kirsty out of the car. Kirsty tried to give him another kiss and told him that she would 'see him soon' before Emma dragged them both to the front door. It was opened by Rhys, who looked relieved to see that both of the girls were alive and annoyed to see that they were both very drunk. Dani, Josh and Shelley quickly joined them and Emma briefly explained what had happened, although she left out the part about having help from Kane. Luckily they didn't ask many questions and Emma was soon able to make her escape. Just a few moments later, Kane stopped the car outside her own house and Emma got Lucy out. The young teenager was so exhausted that she could barely keep her eyes open. Emma did her best to support her with one arm and bent down to Kane's window, which he had open.

"Thank you so much for your help," she told him. "You have been great and I'm so sorry about your car. If there is anything that I can do to repay you for all your help…"

"There is actually," he told her. "Come out to dinner with me tomorrow." 

"Well…I…" for a moment, Emma was lost for a words. Kane obviously sensed her discomfort, for he gave her a reassuring smile.

"Just as friends," he went on. "Nothing serious, nothing heavy. Just two friends having dinner together."

"Okay," Emma agreed. "That would be lovely."

"Great," he sounded pleased. "I'll pick you up at seven."

"I'm looking forward to it." Emma waved as he pulled away, before turning her attention back to her sister. "Well, troublemaker," she said quietly. "Time for you to face the music."   


	9. Chapter 8: A Dinner Date

Chapter 8: A Dinner Date

****

The rest of the family acted much as Rhys and Shelly had when Benny opened the door to find Emma and Lucy standing there. Relieve followed by anger. Benny actually did shake her, while he was calling her a 'stupid, irresponsible little girl', but Lucy was too tired and too drunk to care much. Finally Susan and Jess took her up the stairs and gave her a bath before putting her to bed. They would give her a stern talking to in the morning, they decided. When they came back down, Susan made them all a hot drink and Emma once more faced the questions of where they had been, how she had thought of looking there and how she had gotten them home and she answered as best she could, although again she didn't mention Kane. Benny did say that she shouldn't have gone that far afield by herself, but they all agreed that she had done well and they weren't too annoyed with her. 

After her family had finished with their questions, the young girl excused herself and went up to her room, pausing briefly to check on Lucy, who was now fast asleep. Jordan was stretched out in his cot, his thumb in his mouth, and she smiled and bent down to kiss him goodnight. It was very late and the day had been a long one, so she had a quick bath and got into bed. However, she couldn't sleep. She liked the idea of having dinner with Kane but she was very scared too. She did believe him about the only as friends part, but it had been almost two years since she had been out with a man and the idea frightened her, as did the feelings she had experienced when seeing him and Kirsty together. Since the rape, she had not trusted, nor had no physical contact with, any man except Benny and she was not about to start now. Although Kane had been a friend for a couple of weeks now he had only ever touched her once, when she had tripped over a stone on the beach and he had grabbed her arm to stop her from falling. Emma had flinched away from him and Kane had looked slightly surprised, but he hadn't tried to touch her since.

Somewhere amidst her worrying, she fell asleep and didn't wake up until just before breakfast when Jordan began to cry. 

"Mum," she said as she strapped Jordan in his high chair at the breakfast table. "I'm going out tonight so would you mind looking after Jordan?"

"Of course not," Susan put a plate of toast in front of her oldest daughter and smiled. "Whom are you going with? Allee?"

"Um…yeah," Emma said quickly. She didn't like lying to her family, especially her mum, but she knew that they would only worry if they learnt that she was going out with a boy. They would ask lots of questions and insist on meeting him and sit up worrying about her until she came home. And she didn't want that, so she figured that telling them she was going out with Allee couldn't hurt. "We were going up to Yabbie Creek again," she continued. "To see a movie, maybe get a bite to eat."

"That'll be good," Susan said, just as Jess and Benny clattered down the stairs, only half dressed. "I'm always saying that you should get out more. Shouldn't she, Benny?"

"Huh?" her son rubbed his eyes and looked rather confused. "What was that mum?"

"Emma," Susan told him. "She should get out more, shouldn't she? She's going to Yabbie's Creek tonight with Allee."

"Nice one," Jess instantly began tucking into her cereal. "Have fun. Isn't Lucy up yet, Sue?"

As they began to talk about Lucy, Emma got up and left the table with her son. She hadn't eaten much, she was still feeling too nervous about that night. On the landing, she bumped into Lucy who was looking very ill. 

"My head hurts," the young girl complained and winced as Jordan gave a screech. Emma grinned.

"Serves you right," she said at once, patting her little sister affectionately on the shoulder. "They're talking about you down there. Something tells me that you are really going to be in for it."

"That's the last time I go along with one of Kirsty's ideas," Lucy sighed and carefully began making her way down the stairs, while Emma shook her head and silently wondered what her younger sister would get up to next.

Emma spent part of the day at the beach and down by the docks with Allee, Dani, Josh, Hayley and Noah while Leah took care of Jordan for a couple of hours. In the afternoon, she and Allee went to the Diner and Emma told her friend about what had happened the night before. When she mentioned to her friend that Kane had helped her, Allee scowled and fell silent so Emma didn't say any more about it.    

She got home in time for dinner, although she only ate a little, and then handed her son over to Jess, who was watching TV with Benny, while she went to get ready. She had a long bath and then scattered the contents of her wardrobe across the bed as she tried to find something to wear. Most of it consisted of shorts, jogging bottoms, t-shirts and sweatshirts, which was what she normally wore. Emma instantly cast them aside, although she didn't want to dress up too much for fear of giving Kane the wrong impression, she also wanted something a little smarter. The choice was limited though, but in the end, she chose a pair of black trousers and a light blue shirt. Then she put on just a touch of make-up and ran a brush through her hair. As she glanced in the mirror, Lucy walked in without knocking and flopped down on the bed. 

"You're rather dressed up for a night out with Allee," she said suspiciously. "Sure there isn't something that you aren't telling us?"

"Like what?" Emma laughed and glanced at her watch. "We might be going to a restaurant and besides there's nothing wrong with dressing up a little, is there?"

"No, I suppose not," Lucy agreed. "Is Allee coming here?"

"No, I'm meeting her at the end of the road," Emma said quickly, slipping on the only pair of going out shoes that she owned. "Speaking of which, I had better be going."

"Are you sure that you are going with Allee?" Lucy pestered. "And not that hot looking who was with you yesterday? Who is he anyway, and what were you doing in the woods at night?"

"Looking for you," Emma said as she gently pushed her younger sister out of her room. "Or have you forgotten that already? As for who he is…well his name is Kane and he is my friend."

"Friend?" Lucy laughed. "Are you sure that's all there is to it?"

"Yes," her older sister said firmly, glancing once again at her watch. "Although you can think what you like. Anyway, I have to go or I am going to be late."

"Have fun," Lucy said with a grin as her sister hurried down the stairs. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Emma got to the corner of her street at exactly two minutes to seven and just a minute after she had arrived there, Kane's car pulled up next to her. She couldn't help noticing that he was wearing a suit, although he wore no tie and the shirt was un-tucked, and she felt relieved that she had dressed smartly.

"Hey Emma," Kane said with a smile. "I've booked us a table at a restaurant in Yabbie Creek. Is that all right?"

"That's great," the young girl nodded and hopped in the car next to him. She felt awkward again and focused her attention on looking at the selection of tapes he had. 

"Put one on if you like," he told her, obviously sensing that she felt nervous. "You look lovely by the way."

"Thank you," Emma blushed and busied herself with finding a tape to put on. "You don't look too bad yourself."

"Well I figured that since I was taking such a pretty girl out to dinner, I had better make a bit more of an effort than usual." Kane gave a laugh and Emma blushed even more, as his words did strange things to her stomach. 'He's just being nice,' she told herself. 'We are only friends, that's all. That's all I want and I'm sure that is all he wants too. At least…I hope it is.'

They drove the rest of the way in silence and soon reached the restaurant. It looked like quite a posh one and there were several couples having dinner as well as one or two groups. They were instantly escorted to their table, a small one in the middle of the room, and as soon as they sat down, a waiter was at their side with two menus in his hand. 

"I'll have the chicken breast," Kane said after examining the menu for a moment. "Emma?"

"I think I'll have the same," she answered at once, still feeling a little nervous. "Thank you."

"And we'll have a side order of fries with that too," Kane continued as the waiter quickly jotted their orders down.

"Your meal will be ready in a few minutes," he told them as he handed Kane a second menu. "Would you care to order a drink?"

"Do you want to share a bottle of wine?" Kane asked Emma, scanning his eyes over the menu. "I can't drink a lot because I'm driving and I don't want to take you back drunk, but a couple of glasses won't hurt either of us."

"Well…" she hesitated a moment, unsure of whether to agree. She very rarely drunk alcohol and even though she liked Kane, she wanted to keep a clear head. However, she also knew that wine was particularly strong and a glass or two might even help her to relax a little. "Okay," she agreed. "Let's have a bottle of white wine."

The wine was brought to them instantly with two glasses. The waiter, whose nametag said Eric, poured them each a glass and left them to it. 

"You seem very tense tonight," Kane observed, leaning back in his chair. "Relax, I don't bite."

"It's…it's not that," Emma glanced down at the table, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. "It's been a long time since I've been out…like this."

"Oh," he nodded. "I see. Well, don't worry about it; I don't expect anything in return, you know. I just thought that it would be nice for the two of us, two friends, to get away from the Bay for a few hours." 

It was fine from then on. They discussed their favourite books and films and Emma told Kane about life in England, where she had spent the first twelve years of her life. He was fascinated, or seemed to be fascinated, by what she was saying and gradually she began to relax. They had their food, along with salad, a baked potato and freshly buttered bread, and two glasses of wine each before switching to orange juice. An hour later, their plates were removed and a dessert menu was placed on the table. Emma hesitated, but Kane smiled encouragingly.

"Try the toffee pudding," he said at once. "It's lovely."

"All right," she agreed. "If you insist."

Over their pudding and a cup of hot chocolate, Emma toyed with the idea of asking Kane about him and Kirsty. It wasn't really her business and she did not want to spoil the great evening they had had, but there had obviously been something between them at some stage and she was curious. Finally she decided to go for it.

"Kane," she said quietly, keeping her eyes fixed on her spoon. "What was all that with you and Kirsty last night? You seemed quite…friendly."

"Oh yeah, that," Kane laughed awkwardly. "That was rather embarrassing actually. Kirsty and I…well before last night I hadn't seen her for months or had any contact with her, but we…we used to be a couple. It only lasted a few weeks; her parents were against me seeing her so we had to sneak around behind their backs and in the end we ran away together. We were gone a week before I realised that it…it wouldn't work. So I brought her home, threw her out of the car and left Summer Bay. I should have guessed that she might still have feelings for me."

"And what about you?" Emma asked, taking care to keep her voice neutral. "Do you still have feelings for her?"

"Part of me will always care for Kirsty," he said honestly. "But too much has happened for us to have a relationship now. I've moved on and I think that it would be better for everyone if she does the same."

Silence fell over the table again for a moment, and then Kane began talking about surfing and the conversation again moved on to more cheerful things. After they had both finished, Kane paid the bill and they drove home. On the way, he told her that he thought it was about time that the other residents of Summer Bay knew that he was back. Emma agreed with him and pointed out that he couldn't avoid people forever, especially if he really was planning on sticking around.

He stopped the car just a little way away from her door and turned to face her.

"Thank you for coming out with me," he said with a slight smile. "I had a great evening."

"So did I," Emma told him. "You were right, it was good to get out."

"Maybe…maybe we could do this again sometime?" Kane suggested. Emma smiled and nodded. 

"I'd like that," she said. "I really would." 

She paused for a brief moment, then gathered her courage and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before opening the door and getting out.

"Thank you for a lovely evening," she smiled. "I'll see you soon."

"See you, Emma," Kane gave her a quick smile before driving off. Emma watched him go, wondering what an earth had come over her. 

As she began to walk towards her front door, she heard someone walking behind her.

"Emma," a voice said suddenly. The young girl spun round in alarm and gave a sigh of relief when she saw that it was Allee. And her friend did not look too happy.

"You scared the life out of me, Allee," Emma shook her head. "What's wrong?"

"That guy in the car," Allee said quietly. "That wasn't…Kane Philips?"

"Actually it was." Emma told her. Her friend looked rather shocked.

"What are you doing here with him?" she asked, frowning slightly. 

"He took me out to dinner." Emma told her. "Is that a problem?"

Allee sighed and rubbed her eyes, before placing her hand on her friend's arm. "You don't want to get involved with him, Emma, he's bad news. He's done some horrible things to people around here. I swear I'm not lying. Please believe me. You don't want to know him." 

"Allee, he's always been all right to me and besides he's just a friend. In any case, I think it's my decision who I decide to go to dinner with." Emma said, wrenching her arm away. 

"Fine then go ahead, just don't come crying to me when he rapes you!" Allee said in a   
fierce whisper and walked off, leaving a shocked and silent Emma standing staring after her.


	10. Chapter 9: Accusations and Emotions

**Chapter 9: Accusations and Emotions**

****

Emma was upset by Allee's behaviour, but she did not dwell much upon her friend's words. Perhaps Allee had been jealous; perhaps she believed that Kane belonged with Kirsty. Whatever the reason, it didn't really matter to the young girl although what Allee had said about rape had startled her a little. Kane was her friend and she did like him, they could talk to each other, he made her laugh and he was always kind and considerate when he was around her. Besides there was no way that she about to let anyone, especially not her friends, tell her who she could and could not spend time with. 

It had been rather late when she had arrived home and only her mum had been awake. The two exchanged a few words, Susan asked about her evening and Emma asked about Jordan, then the young girl went up the stairs and fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. She had to get up twice in the night to see to Jordan and so she was rather tired the next morning.

"How did it go last night?" Benny asked as she sat down at the table. "Have fun?"

"Yeah, it was good," Emma told them. "It was nice to get out and do something different. I'll have to do it a little more often."

"You should," Jess agreed, helping herself to a slice of toast. "You know that your mum and I are always happy to look after Jordan every so often. Just because you're a mum doesn't mean that you can't have a life. Right Susan?"

"Right," her mum said with a laugh. "So what do you plan to do today?"

"Probably go back to bed for a while," Emma said with a yawn. "And maybe me and Jordy will go for a walk on the beach after that. We could take the dogs and give them a run."

"Well I'm going up to Yabbie Creek to do some shopping," Susan said. "So I probably won't be back for a few hours. Remember that Lucy is grounded, so she is not to go out with her friends."

"Okay mum," the young girl finished her cereal, took her bowl and Jordan's bowl over to the sink and then went upstairs and put Jordan in his cot. He had been up for three hours and she hoped that he would have his morning nap then and allow her to get some sleep. He did finally drift off, after she put him in bed with her. Lucy's music was playing loudly next door, but even that could not keep Emma awake. About five minutes later, when Jess opened the bedroom door to let the dogs in, she found the young girl and her son both fast asleep. And she couldn't help noticing that Emma had a slight smile on her face…

It was early afternoon when she awoke and, when she went down to get some lunch, she discovered that the house was empty. There was a note from Jess saying that she and Lucy had gone to see Sally and they would be back later. After giving Jordan his lunch and having a sandwich herself, she got them both ready, put Shadow and Laddie on their long leash and left the house for the beach.

When she got to the beach, Emma was surprised to see that there was three or four stalls set up, with people selling their wares. The only person who Emma recognised was Hayley, who was doing chalk portraits for $25 dollars each. She smiled and waved as Emma passed. She had never seen the other people before, there was an old woman selling jewellery, a man selling music tapes and a young girl with a selection of posters. Emma noticed that Dani and Josh were strolling around, arm in arm. Leah was there too, pushing VJ in his pushchair with Jesse.  

As Emma browsed through the jewellery, she heard laughing and giggling. She turned her head and saw Allee, Gina and a rather good-looking boy laughing and joking with Hayley. Emma watched them for a moment until they moved to the next stall, the stall right next to where she was standing.

"Allee?" Emma said carefully. Allee turned around and looked at her blankly.

"Hello Emma," she asked, her tone neutral. "Let me introduce you to my boyfriend Dylan. He's been away from town with his mother for the last couple of weeks, which is why you haven't met him yet. He is Dani, Kirsty and Jade's half-brother."

"Pleased to meet you," Emma told him, shaking the hand that he offered to her. She did remember Allee mentioning a boyfriend, but she had forgotten that his name had been Dylan. "Allee?"

"What?"

"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

"I suppose so," Allee looked at Dylan, who nodded and took Gina's hand.

"Come on, Gina," he said with a smile. "Let's go to the Diner and see if we can get an ice cream. It was nice meeting you, Emma."

"Well then," Allee said when her boyfriend and sister had gone. "What's the matter?"

"I wanted to talk about last night," her friend told her. "I really don't want to fall out with you over this Kane business."

"Neither do I." Allee gave a sigh. "I know that I came on a little heavy, but I am worried about you. Kane Philips is not a nice guy."

"What did he do that was so terrible?" Emma asked. "I don't understand why everyone hates him so much." 

"I…" her friend looked rather awkward. "It's not really for me to say. All I'll say is that it involved Dani Sutherland and it turned almost everyone in the Bay against him, especially the Sutherlands. But most people won't talk about it anymore; even Dani wants to put it behind her. If you want to know then it's probably best if you ask him." Her eyes softened and she put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Just take care, okay?" she said slowly. "Kane…well he hurts people and I wouldn't want him to hurt you too."

"I'll be on my guard." Emma smiled and the tall girl managed a half smile in return. "But honestly, Kane and I are just friends. I…I don't want a boyfriend; I just couldn't handle it right now. We just talk occasionally, that's all."

"I believe you," Allee told her with a sigh. "Well, maybe I'll see you around."

"Yeah," Emma agreed as her friend turned and hurried off towards the Diner. "See you."

After her conversation with Allee, Emma felt a little better. She let the dogs off the lead and let them run across the sand while she and Jordan walked over to where the boats were. Benny was sitting on the docks eating his lunch and talking with Alf. Both of them looked up when Emma approached.

"Hello Emma," Alf greeted her. "How's the little one?"

"As energetic as ever," Emma said, reaching down and brushing her hand through her son's blond hair. "That's why we decided to come for a walk."

"Alf was just telling me that there's an old face back in the bay," Benny told her. "Kane Philips, wasn't it Alf?"

"That's right," the older man nodded thoughtfully. "Quite a bad one he is, but I doubt that it is entirely his fault. Rather a misunderstood kid, I've often thought. Still, I'd avoid him if I were you. He'll only land you in trouble."

"Emma will be okay," her brother grinned affectionately at her. "She's got her head screwed on."

"I'm glad to hear it," Alf said with a smile. "Well, I guess that we both had better get back to work. Take care of yourself, Emma."

"I will," Emma promised. "Benny, are you going to be around here for a while?"

"Next half an hour or so, yes," he told her. "Why?"

"I thought that Jordan and I might go to the Diner for a while." Emma said with a shrug. "Get Jordan a biscuit, I could do with a drink. But I don't want to leave the dogs outside because there are just too many people around this time of day. But hardly anyone comes around here, so…"

"Tie them up to one of the posts," Benny told her. "And extend their lead so they can move around a bit. They'll be fine there for a while. When you come back from the Diner, you couldn't bring us a muffin could you? I'll pay you back later."

"Sure thing," his sister agreed as she tied up the dogs. "Thanks Benny."

"No problem, little sister," he said with a smile as she kissed him on the cheek. "No problem at all."

The Diner was rather crowded, and there was no sign of Allee, but Alex helped her to get the pushchair through to a small table in the corner and offered to bring over her order. Around her, she could hear several people talking about Kane. 

"I can't believe he has the nerve to show his face around here again," she heard Irene say from the next table. 

"The only place for him in prison," Nick agreed. "He's the scum of the earth."

"That Kane Philips definitely belongs behind bars," Jude muttered as he passed Emma's table. "For everyone's sake." 

Gradually people got up and left or began to talk about different things. Emma got Jordan out and sat him on her lap with a biscuit while she drunk her lemonade. Jordan wanted some too and a bit of it got spilt over the table, but finally they were finished. Emma took Benny's muffin back to him and got the dogs, before heading back home.

As they passed the stalls, Kane suddenly appeared by her side.

"Hi," he said with a smile. "You all right?"

"Not bad," Emma smiled back. "I see you've made your presence known in the bay. Quite a few people aren't very happy to see you back."

"I didn't expect anything else." Kane shrugged. "Maybe they'll come round in time, maybe not. But I'm staying whether they like it or not." He knelt down beside the pushchair. "And this must be little Jordan. He's a beautiful baby, just like his mum."

"Shut it you," Emma blushed slightly. "He's getting a bit restless. I had better get him out for a bit."

"I'll do it if you like," he said, glancing up at her. Emma hesitated, it wasn't often that she let anyone but her family hold Jordan, and then nodded.

"Go on then," she said. "Be careful."

Kane carefully unlocked the straps and lifted him out. Jordan seemed a bit frightened at first, but when Emma reached out and touched his head, he relaxed.

"I think he likes you," Emma said, rather surprised that her son wasn't beginning to scream. "He doesn't usually like strangers touching him."

"I'm glad that he likes me," Kane told her. "Are you going home now? Can I walk back with you?"

"If you like," the young girl called back the dogs, who had been running loose on the beach, and put them back on their lead, tying them to the pushchair to stop them running off. Then they began to walk back towards her house, with Kane still carrying Jordan.

"So," Emma asked him. "Is there any particular reason why the people around here don't like you?" 

"There were a few incidences with me and my brother about a year ago," he told her, sounding rather awkward. "And I had a kind of relationship with Dani Sutherland, which her parents didn't like. And then there was the thing with Kirsty of course. It's all in the past now, but people don't tend to forgive easily."

Emma felt reassured by his words and the two friends talked of more light-hearted things for the rest of the walk. 

They paused just outside Emma's house and Kane handed a very sleepy Jordan back to his mum. Their hands brushed briefly and Emma shivered a little.

"I…I had better go and let Jordy have a sleep," she said quickly. "I'll see you on the beach later."

"Count on it," Kane promised. "See you later."

As Emma watched him walk down the road, she felt strange feelings stirring in her stomach. Quickly she shrugged them off and went inside, shutting the door firmly behind her.

The two did meet up on the beach that night, with Shadow and Laddie. However, something seemed very different. Emma noticed that Kane appeared to be watching her when he thought that she wasn't looking and then turning away when she did look at him. Also he was walking a little closer than usual and his hand brushed hers once or twice. It felt quite nice, but Emma was very scared too, scared because she wasn't sure what he was thinking or what he expected.

"Look," she said suddenly, turning towards the ocean. "Aren't the stars beautiful tonight?"

"They aren't the only beautiful thing here tonight," Kane said quietly as he took one step towards her. For a long moment they just looked at each other, before he leant forward and gently brushed his lips against hers. Emma froze and pushed him away.

"Don't!" she stammered, shaking her head. "Please…please don't!"

Before he could reply, she turned and ran across the sand, back the way they had come, calling for the dogs as she went. She didn't stop until she was safely in her room, where she lay on her bed and cried, while the two dogs licked her and pawed her in a desperate attempt to comfort her…

  
  



	11. Chapter 10: Past Memories

Chapter 10: Past Memories

****

Emma cried softly for what seemed like hours. Even when no more tears would come, she still lay curled up on her bed, her mind blank. She did not move until about one o'clock in the morning when Jordan stirred and began to cry for his food. The young girl took him from his cot and the two of them crept down the stairs. There was no sound coming from any of the other rooms, the whole house was completely silent. 

She got a ready-made bottle of milk from the fridge and heated it in a cup of hot water for a few minutes before taking it back up the stairs. She sat back on her bed and fed her son until he started to go back to sleep. Then she laid him back in his bed with the rest of the bottle and looked around her darkened room, which was lit only by her bedside lamp. Slowly she went over to her desk and stood there for a long moment looking at the photographs stuck to the top of her mirror. There was a picture of the family taken on holiday just before her dad had left them, one of her and her best friend Billy who lived in England, one of her and Jordan and finally a picture of her and Damien…She stood there staring at the camera, a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes. Damien, the tall, muscular, blond-haired rugby player, stood with his arm around her waist, his head half turned towards her as he smiled at her. 

He had been her old boyfriend, her first and only real relationship, and Emma missed those old days when everything had been simple. They had first started going out together when she had just turned thirteen. Her family had just moved from England and she was the shy new girl. Damien had been one of the most popular boys in the school, and although he was a year older than her and had a fairly bad reputation, she didn't turn him down when he asked her to a school dance mid-way through the term. After that, they had just kind of stuck together as a couple and although Emma quite enjoyed the attention that she got from being his girlfriend, she didn't feel ready for a relationship and was determined to keep it fairly casual. It had been fine for just over a year, until Damien began hassling her for sex. They loved each other, he had said. Why not do it? She wasn't ready for that step and several of their dates turned into rows as her boyfriend tried to persuade her to go further. They would usually end in her storming off and him ringing her later telling her how sorry he was. She would forgive him and for a few weeks everything was fine. But it never lasted; yet they still stayed together despite the constant arguments. 

They had lasted up until and beyond Emma's fifteen birthday, although their relationship was getting rockier by the week as Damien became more controlling and attempted to stop her seeing a lot of her friends. When he went away to Spain for with his family, Emma had found herself feeling relieved that she would at last have some freedom. Three days after he had gone, she had been out clubbing with some friends from school and it had happened. By the time her boyfriend arrived home, she had already known that she was pregnant. When she had told him everything, expecting him to be supportive, he had hit the roof. He refused to believe that she had been raped and accused her of lying to cover up the fact that she had been cheating on him. He had said many nasty things to her, accusing her of being a slut and a liar and of giving it to every man who asked except him. Finally she had been unable to take any more and had fled in tears. He rang her up the next morning to apologize and she had accepted it, had wanted to believe that he really meant what he said. They struggled on for another two months, although Emma could not bring herself to let him touch her or kiss her because it reminded her too much of the attack. Three nights before the court case, she had found him kissing another girl and dumped him on the spot after he had tried to blame his cheating on her.

It had been hard, Emma remembered, as she pulled the photograph from the mirror and screwed it up. For five months she had struggled on alone, torn between desperately missing him and hating herself for feeling that way and wanting to kill him for being such an insensitive idiot and a waste of space. Then Jordan had been born and she had had something else to love, something that loved her in return. But that didn't mean that she had no longer thought of Damien. It had been over eighteen months since they had broken up and she did still think about him quite a lot. Although she didn't want him back any longer, he had still been her first boyfriend and they had had some good times together too.

Slowly she pulled open the top drawer in her desk. This contained two photo albums, personal letters from her friend in England, her diaries dating back from when she was a teenager and a scrapbook that held several newspaper articles concerning the rape and the court case. Although her family had not wanted her to keep them, Emma had insisted. She had not yet read them fully, not even when she was pasting them in, but she knew that one day it could be an important part of her recovery. She didn't want to take anything from the drawer; she just needed to make sure that it was all there. Her behaviour that evening had confirmed that she was still not yet ready to fully cope with what had happened.

She felt like an idiot running away from Kane like that, but his kiss had brought back the unpleasant memories of what had happened during the rape and she hadn't been able to deal with them right then. That was why it had frightened and upset her so much, although she knew that if she was honest with herself, it hadn't been unwelcome. She did like Kane a lot and yet she knew that she had been pushing her feelings away because she was scared and confused. But Kane was a nice guy, Emma thought as she looked at Jordan asleep in his cot, it wouldn't be easy, but maybe it was time to move on. 

Deciding that it would be a good idea to sleep on it, Emma got into bed and soon fell asleep, only to be woken by Jordan again an hour or two later…

Jordan woke Emma up again at just past six o'clock and so she was exhausted the next morning. She gave her son his breakfast, although she couldn't face eating herself, accepted her mum's offer to look after him for a few hours, dragged herself back up the stairs and fell asleep again at once. She slept on and off all day, just waking up occasionally to go to the bathroom. She slept right through dinner and woke up feeling reasonably refreshed just as it was about to get dark. Lucy brought her up some tea and toast and a bottle for Jordan, who was playing in his cot, and informed her that Allee had called while she had been asleep. 

The following morning, Allee called again and invited Emma to the beach. However, Emma was feeling a bit under the weather, so her friend said that she would come round for a while. She turned up about twenty minutes later and they both went up to her bedroom.

"So what was wrong with you yesterday?" Allee asked. "Things just get too much?"

"Yeah, just exhaustion." Emma agreed. "I didn't sleep well, Jordan kept getting me up. I love being a mother, but it's hard work."

"I bet," Allee agreed. "Almost everyone in the bay are talking about Kane being back. People aren't pleased to see him."

"I know," her friend said wearily. "Could we please not talk about him right now?"

"Of course," Allee agreed. "Is everything all right? He hasn't done anything to hurt you or…?"

"No, nothing like that." Emma quickly shook her head. "He just…tried to kiss me the other night."

"Oh," Allee looked rather triumphant, but still managed to give her friend a hug. "Well, I hate to say it, but I did try to warn you. That's what he's like."

"Okay, you were right about him, I'll admit that," her friend said with a sigh. "Now can we please change the subject? Why don't you tell me about your boyfriend?"

"Well Dylan isn't actually my boyfriend any more," Allee informed her. "We talked yesterday and decided that we've have grown apart recently so we're just going to be good friends from now on. Besides, this guy that I have always had a major crush on is coming back to town and I'd really like to see him again."

"Allee, you are terrible!"

"Here, when you are ready to start dating again, maybe you and Dylan would make a good couple," Allee said with a grin. "He's a nice guy, although his mum is a bit of a bitch, and he is way better than Kane Philips."

"Perhaps," Emma agreed absently. "So tell me about this new boy then."

"His name is Duncan and he is Alf's son," Allee leant back against the wall and smiled. "He's the same age as Seb and he got into a bit of trouble a few months ago and went to live with his aunt. Speaking of which, his bus is due in soon. Fancy a walk down to the bus stop to meet him? I told Alf that I would go because he has some work to finish up."

"I suppose it couldn't hurt," Emma said after a moment. "Just to the bus stop. It might be good for Jordan and I to get out."

The three of them quickly got ready before making their way to the bus stop. They didn't have to wait long until the bus came, holding just one passenger, a tall, good-looking boy who jumped from the bus with a smile on his face.

"Allee!" he greeted, giving the girl a big hug. "How are you? I've missed you!"

"And I've missed you too, Duncan!" Allee returned his hug and then pulled back and waved a hand at Emma. "This is my friend, Emma Alexander, and her son, Jordan. They've just moved here."

"Nice to meet you, Emma," Duncan held out his hand and Emma shook it. "What do you think of Summer Bay so far?"

"I like it," she told him. "It's cool."

"Isn't it just?" he agreed. "I am so glad to be back. My aunt can be okay in small doses, but she is hell to live with."

"Rather you than me," Allee laughed and Emma gave a smile. "Want to go to the Diner and get a soda?"

"Yeah, that would be great," Duncan told her. "You can fill me in on everything that has been happening recently."

"I sure will," Allee smiled at him and he smiled back. "Are you coming with us, Emma?"

"No, I think I'll get back," she told them, sensing that her friend probably wanted to be alone with Duncan. "Thanks anyway. I'll see you both later."

"It was nice meeting you Emma," Duncan waved. "I'll see you around."

At home, Emma found Lucy, Kirsty and Jade sitting around the kitchen table playing cards, while Jess was washing up.

"Hey Em," Lucy glanced up and smiled when she saw her older sister. "You're just in time. Jess has made cookies and some cakes for us."

"Where's mum?" Emma asked, as she slid into the chair opposite Kirsty. 

"Gone down to the Drop-in centre with Shelley," Jess told her. "That's why Kirsty and Jade are around here, so I can keep an eye on them."

"Being grounded is just so boring," Kirsty complained. "Especially since it is the summer and I've heard that my old boyfriend is back. But I haven't had a chance to see him because Jade and I can't go anywhere without our parents. Still, at least this torture ends tomorrow."

"And the first thing we are going to do is go to the beach," Jade said at once. "You'll be there, won't you Lucy?"

"Definitely!" the youngest girl agreed. "I'll be down there right after breakfast!"

Emma and Jess looked at each other and shook their heads, while Jordan made a grab for the cards and sent them all flying across the table. The three younger girls looked dumbfounded for a moment and then started laughing.

"Can I have him for a minute?" Jade asked, holding out her arms. "He is such an adorable baby."

"I know," Emma smiled and handed him to the young girl. Jordan grabbed hold of her hair and giggled as she gave a surprised yelp. "Jordy," she warned, gently reaching over and taking hold of his hand. "Be nice."

"So then," Jessica took two trays from the oven and placed them on the kitchen side. "Who wants to help me to ice these cookies?"

"I do!" Kirsty and Lucy pushed back their chairs and hurried over to where Jess stood with the icing sugar, the various colourings and the several pots of decorations around her. Jade looked at Emma.

"You can go and help if you like," she told the older girl. "I'll look after little Jordy for a little while."

"Are you sure?" Emma asked. She had always liked helping Jess with baking, but Jordan was her responsibility and he came first. But Jade just nodded.

"Yes," she said firmly. "Honestly, I'd like to."

Emma didn't protest and just gave her Jordan's bottle before going over to join the others. For the next fifteen minutes, they had fun decorating the cookies, although Emma glanced over at the table ever so often to make sure that her son was all right. When they were done, Jess put a few on a plate for them to share and gave them a few of the cakes too. Jordan had a little bit of cake and a cookie and then they all watched a video until Susan got home. It was a good afternoon and Emma briefly forgot everything that had previously been on her mind.

That evening, she took the dogs out just a little earlier. Benny had asked her if it was such a good idea to take them out after she had been so tired the night before, but her mum and Jess had agreed that it would be good for her to get some fresh air and Emma was relieved since she had her own reasons for wanting to go out that evening…

She had walked along the beach for almost half an hour without seeing Kane, and was just about ready to give up when she caught sight of him sitting under the jetty, staring out across the ocean. Quietly, her feet not making a sound on the sand, she crept over to him and she was almost by his side before he noticed her.

"Emma!" he sounded very surprised to see her. "I wasn't sure that you would be here. I…" he hesitated for just a second before hurrying on, stumbling over his words in an attempt to get them out. "I'm really sorry about the other night. I wasn't trying to be pushy, it's just that I really like you and I thought that you felt the same way about me. When you ran off like that, I really thought that you would never want to speak to me again and I was really mad at myself for upsetting you. You're one of the few people I've known in my life who I can really talk to and I don't want to ruin that. Can we forget about the other night and still be friends? I…"

He broke off when Emma quickly leant over and kissed him on the mouth. As she drew back and looked at him, he appeared to be temporary speechless.

"I do have feelings for you, Kane," she admitted quietly. "I guess that they have been growing for a while, but I tried to push them away because I was scared and confused by them. I…I was raped, Kane, about two years ago. It was my first sexual experience of any kind and it was when I…I conceived Jordan. My only serious relationship ended just a couple of months later because every time my boyfriend touched me or kissed me, it reminded me of what that man forced me to do…I haven't been able to let a man touch me since, it makes me feel sick and scared and…"

She broke off and began to cry. Kane immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I…I didn't know. You should have told me…"

"I couldn't," Emma sobbed into his shoulder. "I wanted too, but it's just so difficult to talk about."

"I can imagine." Kane gently brought his hand up and began to stroke her hair. Emma tensed at first, but she soon relaxed and was able to enjoy the feelings that being near to him evoked in her. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, until Emma had stopped crying and was feeling calmer.

"Thank you, Kane," she said quietly. "I'm sorry about that. It was just…"

"There's nothing to be sorry for," he said at once. "It must have been a traumatic experience for you and I'm glad that you told me about it." Gently he tilted her head and moved in so that he could kiss her. At first his kiss was soft and almost hesitant, but when Emma responded, it became deeper and more passionate. While they were kissing, Kane gently began to stroke her hair again and she brought one of her hands up to touch his face. Finally they had to break apart for air, although they still sat nestled in each other's arms, looking out over the sea.  

  
 


	12. Chapter 11: Bad News for Kirsty

**Chapter 11: Bad News for Kirsty**

****

The next morning Kane was at the beach early, waiting to see if Kirsty came down. He didn't have to wait long before she appeared, along with Jade and Lucy. He gave a low whistle and Kirsty glanced around. She smiled when she saw him and said something to her sister. Jade nodded, linked arms with Lucy and the two headed towards the sea. Kirsty turned and ran over to Kane, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. In her excitement at seeing him again, the young girl didn't notice that her former boyfriend seemed tense. 

"Kirsty, please listen," he said firmly, taking her hands and gently pushing her away. "I've come here because I need to talk to you."

"I've missed you so much," Kirsty told him. "When you left me, you nearly broke my heart. Still, at least you are back now. Perhaps we could get together later?"

"Kirsty…Kirsty listen to me," Kane said, feeling uncomfortable by the attention that she was giving him. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Us."

"What about us?" she looked up at him, slightly puzzled. "I know that I'm with Seb now, but that doesn't matter. Seb's all right, but he isn't you."

"Kirsty, I threw you out of the car that day because I knew deep down that our relationship was never going to work out," he told her. "There was too much against us and it never would have lasted."

"But we loved each other…"

"Did we?" he replied. "Yes I cared for you then and I still care for you now. But how do we know that our feelings for each other were the real thing and not just the excitement of early romance?"

"What are you saying, Kane?" Kirsty looked upset. "I love you. I've never stopped thinking about you."

"I'm sorry Kirsty," Kane shook his head. "I'll never stop caring about you and I hope that we can still be friends, but I've moved on now and you should do the same."

"Why?" a single tear leaked from the young girl's eye and ran down her cheek. "Is there someone else?"

"No," Kane shook his head and then looked guilty. "Well sort of," he admitted. "But I'm not doing this because of her, I made this decision just a few weeks after I left you. It's for the best."

"Yeah right." Kirsty looked at him for a long moment and then turned and ran across the sand sobbing.

"She didn't take it well then?" Emma asked, gently lacing her fingers through Kane's. It was evening and the two had met up on the beach as usual. While the dogs ran loose across the sand, they sat under the jetty and watched the stars.

"You could say that," Kane gave her a tired smile and ran his free hand through his dark hair. "And a part of me feels a little guilty, as though I've led her on, given her false hopes. But what could I do? I don't love her any more; in fact I'm beginning to wonder if I ever really loved her at all. It's just that…she was the first girl to ever say that she loved me. I guess that maybe I just got swept away with my emotions a little."

"I know what you mean." Emma said quietly, leaning her head against his shoulder. "My boyfriend, Damien, he was the first boy to ever say that he loved me and it just seemed so natural to say it back. But although I was fond of him and I cared for him, I don't think that I ever really loved him. I could never do things like this with him, just sit and talk and watch the stars. He wasn't that sort of person." 

Kane appeared to be considering this and his hand tightened just a little around hers. Emma paused for a moment.

"I wouldn't worry about Kirsty," she continued finally. "I think the problem was that she couldn't move on because part of her was desperately hoping that you would come back and the two of you would continue on as if nothing had happened. But now that you have made it clear where she stands, hopefully she will be able to start getting over it. Either way, it's not your problem any more. You were honest with her and that was all that you could do."

"You're probably right," Kane smiled again and brushed his lips against her cheek. "As you usually are. So," he hesitated for a moment. "When are you going to tell your family about us?"

"I don't know." Emma shook her head and a small sigh escaped from her lips. "To be honest, I'd be happy putting it off as long as possible. They aren't going to like it, especially not my mum and Benny."

"Because of what happened?"

"Partly," she agreed. "They are very protective of me because of when I was…raped. But there's also the fact that I haven't been out with a guy for over two years and that my last boyfriend ended up turning into a very nasty jerk, which messed my head up for a while. And then there is Jordan; my mum will probably worry that it will be unsettling for him. I do want to tell them Kane, but I have to pick the right moment."

"It's okay, I completely understand," he reassured her. "There's no hurry, just take your time. And if you think it will help, I'll come with you when you tell them about us."

"That might help actually," Emma told him. "And it might be easier for me if I have you there with me. Only if you don't mind…"

"Of course not!" Kane laughed and pulled her against him so that he could gently kiss her. "I don't mind, whatever you want."

Emma smiled and reached up to run her fingers through his hair as they kissed again, quite a deep kiss that left both of them just a little breathless. 

"Soon," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'll tell them soon."


	13. Chapter 12: The Truth Comes Out

**Chapter 12: The Truth Comes Out**

****

For the next week or so, Kane and Emma spent every moment they could together without arousing anyone's suspicions. They met up every night on the beach, occasionally Emma went to his aunt's house where they lay on the sofa together watching videos or talking or Kane took her and Jordan to Yabbie Creek where there was little chance of anyone seeing them. He was very good with Jordan and that made Emma like him even more. She had never thought that she would find a man who would accept her son, but Kane was brilliant with him, even when he got tired and kept whining. 

One night, after a couple of weeks of sneaking around, the two of them were strolling along the beach, hand in hand, when Kane stopped. 

"Emma," he said, drawing her to him. "I've been thinking a lot about us recently and I…I feel so lucky to be with you. I think that I'm falling in love with you, Emma, and I really hope that you feel the same."

"I do." Emma threw her arms around him and hugged him. "Although it feels strange and scary…I feel the same."

"I am so glad," Kane returned the hug, burying her face in his hair. "I know that it's been hard, what with everything that has happened, but I'm glad that you gave me a chance. I won't hurt you and I promise you that I won't let anyone else hurt you either."

"I know," Emma mumbled into his shoulder. "Kane?"

"Yes?"

"I've decided," the young girl told him. "I'm going to tell my family about us. Tomorrow."

The next morning, when the family were all sitting around the table enjoying their breakfast, Emma decided that there was no time like the present.

"Mum," she said quietly. "There's something that I have to tell you."

"Oh yes?" Susan exchanged a quick look with Benny and Jess. "What's the matter?"

"Well, you know that I've been going out quite a bit recently?" Emma asked. "You see…"

"I bet she has a boyfriend," Lucy said at once. "Is it that boy you were with the night you came and found us?"

"What?" Benny raised his eyebrows. "What boy? Emma, is this true?"

"Um…yes," Emma admitted. "I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until I was sure that it was…serious."

"And it is?" Jess sounded worried. "Serious I mean. Emma, are you sure this is a good idea? After everything that's happened…"

"She means, are you sure that you are ready?" her mother also sounded worried. "To start another relationship is a big step."

"I've got to move on sometime," Emma shrugged. "And there is no time like the present."

"What's this guy's name?" Benny asked sharply. "Is he from around here?"

"His name is Kane Philips," the young girl told them. "I met him after the beach party, we were friends for a while and then things just progressed naturally. He's really nice, Jordan loves him and he's really understanding. He knows about the rape and everything and he's never tried to force me into anything. I really like him, mum."

"Kane Philips has a bit of a bad reputation," Benny told Susan. "He's not very well liked amongst the bay's residences. I don't like the idea of you being involved with him, Emma."

"Look, how about you meet him?" Emma offered. "I could ask him around for dinner tonight and you can see that he's okay really."

"I suppose that it couldn't hurt," Susan shook her head. "You invite him over, we'll meet him and then we'll see."

"Thanks mum," Emma lifted her son out of his high chair and made her way towards the stairs. "I'll tell him to come over."

"I hope you know what you are doing," Benny shook his head as he pushed his bacon around his plate. "I really do."

Emma had already arranged to spend the day with Allee and Leah, but she called Kane as soon as she got home and asked him to come over for dinner. He arrived ten minutes later, gave her a kiss on the cheek and introduced himself to the family.

Over dinner, they questioned him almost endlessly and Kane answered as honestly as he could. Yes, he told them, he had been in trouble in the past but he wanted to put that behind him now. He cared for Emma and he would look after her the best he could. Towards the end, Emma could see that her family, even Benny, were gradually warming to Kane, especially when he offered to help with the washing up. After the clearing up had been done, Susan had a brief talk with Benny and Jess, before sitting the two teenagers down.

"I'm sorry for being wary about you, Kane," she began. "But as you can imagine, we are concerned for Emma. However, you do seem to make her happy so as long as you really don't hurt her, I see no problem in you two seeing each other."

"Thanks mum." Emma smiled and hugged Kane. He smiled in return and hugged her back. Susan laughed. 

"You just be sensible and keep convincing me that I have made the right decision," she told the two. "And don't worry too much about Benny. He's not completely happy about this, but you know what he's like. He'll come round in time."

For the next couple of days, Emma and Kane gradually made their relationship a little more public. Although they didn't actually tell anyone that they were a couple, they went to the Diner together, walked on the beach during the day when there were people around and were generally more affectionate with each other around outside. Emma was told by two or three people to be careful, but she took little notice as she already knew that the residents of the bay did not like Kane. Dani, Allee and the other older teenagers were also a little off with her, but she put that down to the same reason. They didn't like Kane; therefore they didn't like the idea of her dating him. She was happy for the first time in ages, her son was happy too and that was all that really mattered.

Two days after Susan had met Kane for the first time, Shelley came round for coffee and the talk soon turned to him.

"I hear that Emma is dating Kane Philips," Shelley said through a mouthful of biscuit. "You want to be careful of that boy. He is evil and not to be trusted. He went out with our Kirsty for a while, you know, and when Rhys and I tried to put a stop to it, he talked her into running away with him. He soon brought her back, thank goodness, and then disappeared into thin air. He should have stayed gone, it would have been better for a lot of people if he had."

"Why does everyone hate him so much?" Susan asked curiously. "Emma says that a lot of people have warned her off him. I know that he has been involved in some criminal activity in the past, but surely that couldn't have been enough to make everyone hate him so much?"

"Well he played a part in kidnapping a young woman who used to live around here," her friend explained with a sigh. "Along with his brother, who was just as bad as Kane in some ways. He got into a lot of trouble at school, accused young Jude of assault when he hadn't really touched him. But the thing that really turned people against him was what he did to Dani. Everyone knows about it but no one talks about it any more, mainly for her sake, so it isn't really surprising that you haven't heard."

"What did he do?"

"He raped her," Shelley said quietly. "Raped her, claimed it was consensual, harassed her constantly in the time leading up to the trial, and then got away with it. There is no justice in this world. He did apologize afterwards, but it was too late by then. The damage has already been done and it took my poor girl a long time to get over it."

"I had no idea, Shelley," Susan shook her head, her heart cold. "I can understand how it must have been for you, Emma's rape nearly destroyed our whole family. If I had known…" she shook her head. "Emma has to be told," she decided. "There is no way that Kane is coming anywhere near my family again."

"A wise decision, Susan," Shelley encouraged. "A very wise decision."

As soon as Benny got home, Susan told him and Jess what Shelley had told her earlier that day. As she had expected, both were angry and upset. 

"Where is Emma now?" Benny asked. "Is she with him?"

"Yes," Susan nodded. "At the beach. Jordan's with Leah."

"I'll go get him," Jess offered. "Benny, don't do anything stupid, will you?"

"Of course not," he promised them. "I'm just going to get her away from him, that's all."

Before his mother or his girlfriend could reply, he went out and slammed the door hard behind him as he quickly hurried in the direction of the beach.

Next chapter: A shock for Emma!


	14. Chapter 13: A Shock for Emma!

**Chapter 13: A Shock for Emma!**

****

Benny searched the Diner, the Surf club and finally the beach, growing more and more angry by the minute. Finally he caught sight of Kane and his younger sister, standing under the jetty, nestled in each other's arms. As the man watched, Kane whispered something in Emma's ear and the young girl giggled. Unable to take it any more, Benny sped up, almost breaking into a run. 

The two teenagers were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't notice Benny approaching until the older man grabbed Emma's shoulder and physically pulled her away from Kane. 

"What are you doing, Benny?" Emma said, shocked and angry. "What is your problem?"

"Him, he's my problem," Benny spat, keeping a tight grip on his sister's arm and glaring at Kane. "Do you know what he did, Emma? Do you know what he is?"

"What are you talking about?" Now she sounded confused. "Kane, what is he talking about?"

"He's a monster," Benny told her, taking a step back and pulling Emma with him. "He raped Dani Sutherland, Emma. He raped her."

"No," Emma shook her head and looked at Kane. "Kane…it isn't true, is it? Please tell me that it isn't true."

"It's true all right," Benny snarled. "Shelley told mum and she just told us. Why would she lie about something like that?"

"I don't know," her voice was trembling now. "There must be a…"

"No," Kane said quietly. "Shelley wasn't lying. I did…I did rape Dani. Please…just let me explain…"

"There's nothing to explain," Emma shook her head and backed away from him even further. "You make me sick! Just…just leave me alone, Kane."

She turned and fled across the sand. Benny started to go after her, before stopping and turning back to Kane.

"You heard what she said," he said, his tone quiet but menacing. "You stay away from her, Kane Philips. If you come near her or any of my family again, then I swear that I will kill you. That's a promise."

He turned and hurried off after his sister, leaving Kane standing alone, staring after them as a single tear leaked from his eye and ran down his cheek.

Back at home; Emma refused to say anything to anyone. She just grabbed Jordan from Jess, went upstairs to her room and cried, cried as though her heart was breaking. Kane had lied to her, lied to make her fall in love with him. He was nothing but an evil rapist, just like the man who had raped her. And she could sympathise with Dani, could understand the feelings of pain and anger and guilt that the other girl must have suffered. And she understood why everyone in the bay hated him so much, but what she couldn't understand was why no one had told her.

Jess and Susan both tried to talk to her, but Emma told them to go away. She was coping fine, she told them, and she didn't need them. But she was not coping, not at all. 

After several hours of almost silent crying, the young girl went to have a bath and her eyes fell upon the medicine cabinet. Without thinking, her insides still numb with pain, she reached for the bottle of sleeping pills. Telling herself that she would only take two, to help her sleep, she opened the lid and tipped half of the bottle out onto her palm. Then, her mind still clouded, she quickly put them into her mouth and swallowed them. Her thoughts now entirely taken up by death and why she always attracted the wrong men, Emma grabbed her razor and slashed at her wrists. For the first time in over a year, she didn't think of anyone, not her family, not her son. She felt so terrible that all she wanted to do was die. It wasn't until she became dizzy that she realised what she had done. She collapsed on the floor and darkness overtook her… 


	15. Chapter 14: Kane Takes Action

Chapter 14: Kane Takes Action

Luckily Jess heard the thump as Emma collapsed and immediately hurried to the bathroom to see what had happened. The young girl was rushed to hospital in Yabbie Creek where her stomach was pumped and she was placed on a drip. The next morning, news of her suicide attempt spread quickly around the bay. Susan and Benny stayed at the hospital while Jess waited at home and broke the news to Lucy when she awoke. As expected, the young girl was deeply upset by what had happened to her sister.

During the day, many people came to the house to ask after Emma. Shelley, Hayley, Leah, Allee and even Dani and Josh stopped by. Jess told them what she knew, that Emma had not yet fully awoken but her condition was now stable, although she would be in hospital for a few more days. Allee and Leah asked what hospital she was in and Jess told them, happy that Emma had people who cared about her.

After lunch, which Kirsty and Jade were having with Lucy in an attempt to cheer her up a little, there was a knock on the door. When Jess opened it, she found Kane standing on the doorstep.

"I heard what happened to Emma," he said quickly. "Is she…?"

"You've got a lot of nerve coming here," Jess told him sharply. "She only did this because she was so upset after finding out what you had done."

"I'm sorry," the boy shook his head. "I just want a chance to talk to her, to explain. She is going to be all right, isn't she?"

"She is," Jess said quietly. "But she has already said that she doesn't want to talk to you, so just stay away from her. You've already done enough damage here."

Before Kane could reply, she slammed the door shut, leaving him standing on the doorstep. He stood there for several minutes, before turning and slowly walking away.

*~*~*~*~*

When Benny came home later that afternoon, he brought the news that Emma had woken although she was still very weak and would have to stay in hospital for another day or so. Lucy was very pleased and allowed Kirsty and Jade to talk her into going out to the beach for an hour or so. While they were gone, Jess put Jordan down for a nap and made Benny a cup of tea while she told him about Kane's visit. Her boyfriend agreed that she had done the right thing.

"She doesn't want to see him," he said, shaking his head. "And even if she did, he is never coming near any of our family again. He's just a loser!"

That evening, it was Jess's turn to visit Emma while Benny stayed at home and made dinner for the little ones. After exchanging a few words with Susan, she went into Emma's room. The young girl looked pale and tired but she managed a weak smile. However, she wasn't really up to talking. When Jess mentioned Kane, Emma turned her head away.

"I don't want to talk about him," she said quietly. "I don't want to even think about him. I was in love with him, Jess. And he turned out to be no better than that man who attacked me…I was so stupid."

"You're not stupid." Jess sat beside her and squeezed her hand. "Emma, I've been thinking. This must have brought back very unpleasant memories. Your mum and I had an idea and we wanted to know what you thought."

"What do you think about counselling?" Susan asked, from where she was sitting in the corner. "I know you said that you weren't ready the last time that it was suggested, but the doctor believes that we should consider it again now."

"I suppose so," Emma rubbed her eyes. "But I can't see Shelley. Not with her being a friend or yours, mum. If Flynn will do it, then I'll give it a try. But I want…I want to go to sleep now."

"That's fine, darling." Susan gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'll go to the Drop-In centre first thing tomorrow morning. You get some rest now and try not to worry about anything."

*~*~*~*

Although Susan stayed at the hospital overnight, she left to go to the Drop-In centre as soon as Benny arrived. Shelly wasn't there just yet, but Flynn was and so Susan asked to speak directly to him. She was shown to a small room and Flynn came in just a minute later.

"Hello Susan," he said pleasantly. "How is Emma?"

"She finally came around last night," Susan told him. "They think that she'll be strong enough to come home tomorrow."

"That is very good news," Flynn smiled. "Sally and I have been worried. So anyway, might I assume that your visit has to do with Emma?"

"Actually it does," the older woman nodded. "The doctor at the hospital has recommended that Emma receives counselling. She was offered it when she was raped, about two years ago, but she said that she wasn't ready and ever since she has said that she doesn't need it. However, now she has agreed to give it a try and I was wondering…"

"If I'll see her." Flynn finished. "Well, if she's willing to give it a try, then I'd be happy to. Maybe we could try one session and see how it goes from there. Do you want to make an appointment for her now?"

"How about Friday afternoon?" Susan suggested. "That's three days and it'll give Emma time to get her feelings settled a bit."

"Friday afternoon will be fine," Flynn told her as they both stood up. "Give Emma our love. Many of the Bay's residents are thinking of her."

"I'll tell her," Susan promised. "Thank you Flynn."

"My pleasure," he said as she left the room.

When Shelley came in, about fifteen minutes later, Flynn told her about Susan's visit and that he had agreed to try counselling Emma and see how she got on. Susan was very pleased to hear that the young girl was on the mend.

"Everything that she went through," she said sadly. "Couldn't have happened to a nicer girl. Emma, Dani…they don't deserve this. Men like Kane should be locked away where they can't hurt anyone else. Still, I'm pleased that she feels that she is ready for counselling. That's a big step."

Flynn was about to answer but then he heard someone calling him and left the room, while Shelly began to sort through some leaflets after shutting the window. It had been open throughout their whole conversation, but neither of them thought anything of it. They certainly didn't imagine that anyone would even be around so early, let alone be listening in on their conversation. But someone was listening in and they had overheard every word.

After reading through some files, Flynn went to kitchen to make him and Shelley a cup of coffee. While the kettle was boiling, he noticed that the rubbish bin was overflowing. Pulling out the bag and tying it into a knot, Flynn opened the kitchen door and dropped it outside. He was just about to turn around and go back inside when he heard someone whisper his name. When he looked around, he noticed Kane Philips emerging from the bushes.

"What do you want?" the older man asked. "If Shelley sees you here…"

"I just needed to talk to you," Kane said, keeping his voice low. "Please Flynn."

"Come into the kitchen," Flynn said after a slight pause. "I think I can spare five minutes."

"Thank you," the young boy followed him into the kitchen, taking care to keep beside the open door in case Shelley came in. "You can probably guess what I want to talk to you about."

"Emma." Flynn stated quietly and Kane nodded.

"I feel so bad about all this, Flynn," he said quietly. "I should have told her what I had done, but I didn't know how. She told me that she doesn't want to see me again and her family will do everything in their power to keep me away from her, but…but I need to see her just once more. I want to try and explain…"

"Maybe you should just stay away for a while," Flynn advised. "It seems like you've done enough damage here and it isn't going to do anything to make you more popular."

"I know that," the boy shook his head and clenched his fists. "But I can't go, I can't give up on her. I…I love her."

"Like you loved Kirsty?"

"I didn't love Kirsty." Kane told him. "I thought I did, back then, but what I feel for her is nothing compared to what I feel for Emma. When I was with Emma I felt so contented, so happy…it was like we belonged together. And so I can't give up. Please Flynn, can't you talk to her and her family for me?"

"It's not really my business," Flynn shook his head. "And in any case, I doubt that it would do any good. Especially trying to talk to her brother, he really seems to have it in for you."

"I know," Kane glanced down at the floor. "I'm sorry but I…I overheard you and Shelley talking earlier about Emma accepting counselling. Couldn't I…couldn't I come to one of her sessions? Just once to see if she'll talk to me. If she really doesn't want to, then I promise that I'll leave her alone. But I have to try, even just the once."

"I'm not sure…" Flynn began and suddenly heard the sound of footsteps coming towards the kitchen. "All right," he said quickly. "I'll talk to Emma and her family and try to persuade them that it might be a good idea for you and her to meet up just once. But I can't promise anything, all I can do is try."

"Thanks Flynn," Kane darted out of the door and briefly glanced back at the man over his shoulder. "I appreciate it, I really do."

Flynn watched him disappear and shook his head, before turning back to making the coffee, just as Shelley entered the kitchen. She started to talk to him, but he couldn't pay much attention. In his mind, he was trying to figure out the best way to approach the subject of Kane with Emma and her family…


	16. Chapter 15: New Beginnings

It's been a while since I posted any of this story and I'm sorry for that. Unfortunately I've had writer's block and have also been involved with other projects as well as college work. However, a very nice person (who wishes to remain nameless) sent me this chapter, which I have altered only slightly. As well as being very good, it has also jolted me from my writer's block, so expect another chapter very soon.

***************** 

**NEW BEGINNINGS**

"No," Emma said, covering her face with her hands. "I can't. Please don't make me."

"No-one's going to make you, darling," Susan said, giving Emma a reassuring hug.

"Of course not," Benny added, indicating to Flynn that they should leave.

"I can't believe you even suggested such a thing," Benny said angrily once they were outside the ward.

"As a doctor I have to consider every option," Flynn replied calmly.

Benny's eyes flashed. "You know, I've been hearing some very interesting things about you just lately, _Doctor _Saunders. About how you knew Kane was dating young Kirsty Sutherland, but kept it quiet from her family and that led to them running away together. I'm not sure I even want you near Emma let alone counselling her."

He hadn't realised he'd raised his voice but he had and, the door still ajar, Emma and Susan couldn't help but hear. Emma's stomach was churning. She was the cause of all these arguments, of her family having to move to Summer Bay, of Benny going to prison. Her mother seemed to have aged ten years overnight. She wished she'd never been woken.

Kane dejectedly roamed the beach all afternoon. 

At the diner where they'd arranged to meet Flynn had given him the bad news. "I'm sorry," he said.

"I expected as much." Kane shrugged. He really didn't know what to do next. He wouldn't be able to settle at home and anyway his aunt was in poor health so he didn't want to upset her. The atmosphere in the diner was very hostile. Emma was very popular and everyone was aware of the reason she'd taken the overdose. 

"I can't promise anything, but I'll keep working on it," Flynn said.

Kane nodded his thanks and got up to leave. As he pushed open the door, Kirsty, Dani and Josh were just entering. None of them spoke. Josh glared and Dani, after taking a sudden sharp breath when she first saw him, now looked very deep in thought. Kirsty however, dressed ready for her shift at the kiosk, patted his arm lightly when no-one else saw. He longed to stay and pour his heart out to Kirsty but they both knew Summer Bay wouldn't approve and beside he was always careful to stay out of Dani's way. 

So he went down to the beach and walked aimlessly. He hadn't had anything to eat all day and a heavy rain had begun to fall, but nothing seemed to matter any more. There was something soothing about the ebb and flow of the tide. It was late evening when he looked down from the very top of the cliffs with the tears still streaming down his face. 

"I need to speak to Flynn," Dani announced, jumping up suddenly.

Josh and Kirsty exchanged glances as Kirsty put their two strawberry milkshakes down on the table. They were used to Dani saying she had to see Flynn - some days she was okay about Kane, other days she wasn't - but normally she made an appointment with Flynn or phoned. Since Kane had been dating Emma she'd seemed more relaxed. Perhaps Emma's suicide attempt had brought back too many unpleasant memories.

"I'll come with you," Josh said.

"No, you won't." Dani looked determined. "This is something I must do on my own."

After a while Kane brushed the tears away and with a heavy heart made his way back to the town where the lights of the hospital shone down over the dark Bay like a castle. It was eerily quiet except for the steady patter of rain and waves lapping against the shore, but the cold night air had seemed to clear his head a little. He knew his aunt wouldn't worry when she saw his empty bed - she was used to him getting up very early or being out very late to work on the boats - so he sat on a bench outside the hospital. _Please let Emma be okay_, he prayed silently to nobody in particular. The stars in the velvet sky maybe. He shivered as a cold breeze came from the sea. He was all out of tears now. The sea whipped up the wind again, even colder. When the storm came, he still didn't move, oblivious to the rain beating down. He didn't care what happened if Emma died.

"Kane?" At first he thought the voice came from a dream and that it had all been some terrible nightmare. Someone was leaning over him when he opened his eyes to the soft dawn light. Birds were whistling and the cold breeze of last night was now a warm caress.

"You look awful," the vision said. "Have you been here all night?"

"Kirsty!" He was so glad to see a friend. "Have you...have you heard how Emma is?"

"She's fine, Kane. Making good progress, the hospital said." Kirsty sat down beside him on the bench as he gave a sigh of relief. "Mum rang Emma's Mum last night. She said Susan was much happier. Emma has managed some food and they think she'll be discharged either today or tomorrow." She looked with genuine concern at the boy she still loved but it was in a sisterly kind of way these days. Though she hadn't at first, she understood now why Kane had ended their relationship.

"I can leave Summer Bay then," Kane said huskily. "Emma's going to be all right. I'll tell my aunt I want to travel. I'll get a job on a ship."

"You can't just leave!" Kirsty was aghast.

"I have to, Kirst."

"Because of what people will say?" Her early morning swim with Seb totally forgotten, Kirsty frowned down at the costume and towel in her lap as if puzzled how it all got there. "The Kane I knew was more gutsy than that!"

"No, not because of that. Because I want Emma to be happy. And she'll never be happy if I'm still here - and even if she gave me another chance it would turn her whole family against her. So, Kirsty, thanks for your advice and it's good to know I have at least one true friend here and I'll never, ever forget you, but this is goodbye."

"You're in no fit state to go anywhere!" Kirsty thought she sounded more like her Mum every day. 

"I'm fine. I'm okay. Bye, Kirsty. Thanks for everything." Kane hugged her and Kirsty held him tight. "Take care, Kane."

"I will. You too." He had to tear himself away from her hug. Then he stood - or tried to stand. Suddenly his knees gave way and he was stumbling into some dark spinning world.

The hospital ward was white and bare. He blinked in the harsh light. A ray of sunlight beamed in through the window where the garden and its colourful array of flowers could be seen. 

"You picked a good place to be ill!" Emma was smiling, though a tear was glistening on her cheek. Her hair was soaking wet like she'd recently taken a shower and she wore a pink towelling robe that brought a glow to her face. She reached for his hand. "You had me so worried, Kane. You've been in and out of consciousness for two days. Please don't leave me. Ever."

"But I thought..." He took her hand in his. "After you knew about Dani..."

"It was a terrible shock," Emma said. "I can't pretend it hasn't changed things. I...I needed time to think and I thought it would be for the best if we broke up and I didn't _want _to see you but...but I couldn't help loving you. And when I spoke with my family and the Sutherlands they agreed that we should give it another go. Most of them were very hostile, but Dani helped me talk them round in the end."

_"Dani?" _Kane stared at Emma incredulously.

Emma nodded. "Dani had this idea that her family and mine should get together and talk about everything because she said talking things through was how she'd coped. She only told Flynn to begin with because she didn't know how everyone else would react so none of us knew anything about it till this morning when Flynn got us all together in the day room. It was tough, Kane. Kirsty and Lucy were the only ones who wanted to stand by you. Benny and Mr and Mrs Sutherland were so angry and Jess and Jade, they were torn in two, Jess for me and Jade for Kirsty, and Mum, she was just holding Jordan, and looking so sad. She kept saying "I trusted Kane" till it almost broke my heart..." Emma smiled when he squeezed her hand, and took a breath before continuing with her story. "Flynn was trying to calm things down because it was getting a little heated between Benny and Kirsty when Dani said suddenly "Maybe we should give Kane a go." It was like she was talking to herself, getting her head together. We all went quiet and she said like she'd made up her mind "Emma and Kane love each other. We shouldn't separate them." Josh was there, though he wasn't allowed to take part in the discussion, and he put his arm round her and said, "Are you sure?"

Then you won't believe what happened, Kane. Dani said she was sure and Kirsty jumped up and hugged her and said thank you. And Dani looked at Benny and said something about you saving her Mum's life and...I don't know what else, me and Kirsty and Lucy, we were hugging and laughing and crying, and Jordan was laughing because we all were, and shouting 'Daddy' and clapping his hands like he knew. Benny doesn't like it though, but things will work out with him. Once he sees how happy I am with you and gets used to the idea, he'll be fine. I know he will."

Kane looked at her with eyes that seemed to speak to her very soul. "Emma, I really do love you. If you'll have me..."

"Of course I will. I love you too." She leaned forward and kissed him.

The two of them still had a lot to work through, a lot to deal with but it was a new beginning. A new chapter in both their lives. They were coming home.


	17. Chapter 16: A Step Forward

Chapter 16: A Step Forward

The following morning Emma was finally allowed home, although the hospital staff wanted to keep Kane in for another day or so. She was glad to be home again, back in her own room with her family and her son and the two dogs around her. Allee came round at once to see her and the two of them had quite a long talk. Allee was very shocked, and not too happy, to hear that Emma was going to continue seeing Kane after everything that had happened, but she accepted that he made her friend happy and that Dani didn't have a problem with it any longer.

When Allee had left, Emma asked Jess to look after Jordan for an hour or so and made her way next door to the Caravan Park. She had had a long talk with her mum and Jess the previous night, when Benny had taken the dogs out, and now there were a few people she needed to see. 

"Come in!" Shelley called as she knocked on the kitchen door. When Emma entered, she found Shelley cooking and Dani helping her. 

"Hi Emma," Dani turned round and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Well enough." Emma replied, returning the smile. "Although it feels a bit strange being out of hospital at last."

"It's good to have you back among us," Shelley told her, as she finished draining the carrots. "And how is…" she hesitated briefly. "Kane?"

"He will be coming out tomorrow or the day after, although he has to take it easy for a few days," the young girl told them. "Actually, that is sort of why I came. I just wanted to thank Dani, for doing what she did. I know from my own experience that it must have taken a lot of courage to do that, to face my family and yours and to let Kane stay in the Bay after what he did to you. And…all I can say is thank you. If it hadn't been for you and Kirsty, Kane and I probably wouldn't have stood a chance of working things out."

"It was no problem," Dani shook her head. "It still affects me sometimes… remembering what he did to me, but seeing you two together helps quite a bit. As does being with Josh, I know that he'll look after me. Besides, anyone can see that you two love each other and so you should be together. What he did to me is all in the past and I do know that he is sorry for it and we all have to look to the future now. That is what I've realised, dwelling on the past does no one any good. I want to move on, and this gives me the chance."

"That is a very mature way to look at things, Dani," Shelley smiled at her oldest daughter. "Your father and I may have doubts about this, but it is ultimately your decision. Maybe Kane is sorry and maybe he has changed. I suppose we will never know unless we give him a chance. How do your family feel about it all, Emma?" 

"My mum is a bit wary of him," Emma admitted. "And so is Jess, which I can't blame them for. They was just beginning to trust him, we all were, and it will be quite a while before either of them are able to trust him again. But they can see that I love him and they know that there is little they can say to make me change my mind, I am an adult and a mother myself after all. And of course they both trust my judgement. But Benny still isn't happy, says that he won't have Kane in the house. We've all agreed, Kane too, that it would be best if he doesn't come to the house for now. Hopefully Benny will come round in time."

"If you really are serious about each other," Dani pointed out. "Then he might not have much choice."

"That's true," Emma agreed. "But Kane is eager to avoid any unpleasantness. After all, Benny is my big brother and he has always been overprotective, especially since my father left. It's just the way he is and I can't blame him for not wanting me to get involved with Kane. We'll just take things slowly and see how our relationship develops."

"That is the best way," Shelley agreed. "After all, you have been through a lot recently. And it can't have been easy finding out about Kane."

"It wasn't," Emma shook her head and accepted the glass of juice that Dani handed to her. "It brought back a lot of issues about my own rape that I've never really dealt with. It's just that…I fell in love with Kane because he was nice and kind and gentle and he really got on well with Jordan and I trusted him, and then suddenly I discovered that he was no better than the monster who raped me. And I hated him for lying to me, hated myself for loving him when I could completely understand everything that Dani must have gone through, but I couldn't stop loving him. I still love him, even though my feelings have changed, even though he is a totally different person from the Kane I thought I knew. But I'm going to have counselling with Flynn, Kane is going to attend some sessions with me and I'm going to deal with what happened to me back then and we'll start over again."

"Well I don't know about the other people in the Bay," Dani said sincerely. "But I am glad that I could help and I honestly wish you the best of luck. Maybe…maybe you and Kane could come out with a group of us sometime. We could go to Yabbie Creek, see a movie, have a meal. We could ask Kirsty and Seb and Jade and Nick. Maybe Allee and Duncan will come too."

"I'd like that," Emma smiled. "Thank you Dani. And thank you, Shelley. I won't forget this."

*********

Although it was boring being in hospital, Kane was too relieved and happy to really be bothered. He had been so sure that he had lost Emma because of his foolish mistake and knowing that she still loved him and was willing to give him another chance, not to mention Dani and most of the Alexander and the Sutherland family. Despite loving her, Kane really hadn't wanted another situation like it had been with him and Kirsty. He had cared for the young girl, although his feelings for her hadn't been nearly as intense as his feelings for Emma now, but he had known all along that their relationship probably wouldn't have stood a chance of lasting in the long run. 

"Hello Kane," Kirsty suddenly appeared in the doorway, a bag of grapes in her hand. "I was just passing and I thought I'd drop in, see how you were."

"It's good to see you." Kane wasn't lying, despite what had happened between them in the past, he still liked Kirsty and he was glad that they were still able to be friends. "I'm feeling much better, the doctors hope that I will be able to go home tomorrow. But it gets lonely at times."

"I'll keep you company," Kirsty offered. "I haven't got anything else to do."

"If you like," Kane shrugged and then smiled at her and patted the side of the bed. "Sit down. Emma will be here soon, but you can stick around until then if you like." The young girl nodded and sat down on the edge of his bed, handing him the grapes. 

"Emma told me how you and Dani defended me to your parents and Benny," he said finally, after a moment or two of awkward silence. "Thank you, Kirsty. That was good of you."

"There wasn't much else I could do," Kirsty glanced down at the white bedcovers. "I know that you've changed, that you are sorry for…what you did to Dani. Of course I'm going to defend you, you're my friend."

"It is still good of you, after everything that happened between us," Kane told her. "To be honest, I thought that you would be happy to see me and Emma split up."

"No!" The young girl was shocked to hear that. "Kane, I'd be lying if I said that seeing you and Emma together doesn't upset me a little and I'd also be lying if I said that I didn't still have some feelings for you. But I can see that you love her and I just want you to be happy. And we can still be friends, can't we?"      

"Of course we can," Kane took her hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. "Kirst, what we had together was good and I will never forget that. And I'll always have some feelings for you, but our relationship would never have worked out in the end, it would have hurt all of your family and I didn't want that to happen. I love Emma now and I would never do anything to hurt her or her family, but you'll always be a good friend to me, no matter what happens. And I meant what I said earlier, I'll always be grateful to you and to Dani for standing up for me, for allowing Emma and I to have a second chance."

"She's a nice girl," Kirsty nodded thoughtfully. "And I know that the rest of my family like her as much as I do. This might sound like a funny thing to say, but don't hurt her, Kane."

"I'd never do anything to hurt her," he said at once, shaking his head. "Not again. I love her, Kirst; I really love her. And when I thought that I was going to lose her, I…"

"I know," she nodded. "I saw you sitting outside the hospital just before you collapsed, remember?" Kane thought about it for a second and then nodded too. "Kane," she continued after a moment. "While we are on the subject, I have just one question. And I want you to promise to give me an honest answer, because that's what friends do."

"Alright."

"You already said that you still had some feelings for me," Kirsty said quietly, not looking at him, "which is only natural, even though we know that we couldn't be together even if Emma wasn't in the picture. But my question is, do you love Emma more than you loved me?"

"I love Emma in a very different way," Kane said after a moment of silence. "With you it was the thrill of falling in love for the first time, in some ways the danger of knowing that your parents wouldn't approve and of course you are nice and funny to be with. But being with Emma and Jordan and her family makes me feel complete. I like having responsibilities, I want to be there to look after and protect them. She's mature and levelheaded and I love the way she is so strong, even after everything she has been through, and the way she is so devoted to Jordan. I did love you once, Kirst, but things have changed and Emma is the sort of woman that I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. I'm sorry if I…"

"No," Kirsty said quietly, finally looking at him and smiling sadly. "I knew what you would say, just like I know that it's over between us, but I guess I just needed to hear you say it. It's going to take time to get used to you being with someone else, but if I can't be with you myself…then Emma would definitely be my next choice for you. I'm just glad that you've been able to move on, that you've found someone you really want to be with."

"I have," Kane said firmly. "Thank you again, Kirst. Thank you for understanding and not being angry. And just remember that you will always be a special friend to me."

Suddenly the door opened and they both turned towards the doorway. Emma came in, with Jordan clinging to her shoulder.

"Hey Kirsty!" If she was surprised, she hid it well. "I wasn't interrupting anything was I?"

"No, not at all," Kane said at once. "I was just thanking Kirsty for doing what she did yesterday."

"Good," Emma smiled at the younger girl. "I went to see Dani and Shelley this morning and they seem hopeful that things will turn out for the best. Here, do you want to hold Jordan for a minute?"

"Well I had better be going," Kirsty smiled at them both and left, shutting the door gently behind her. As soon as she had left, Emma kissed Kane gently. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked. "Better, I hope."

"Not bad," Kane slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. He liked having Emma and Jordan with him, felt like the three of them were a proper family. "I'll be glad to get home though." He paused and kissed the top of her head. "So," he said finally. "Tell me what happened with the Sutherlands."

Next chapter: With Kane by her side, Emma begins her counselling. Unfortunately, there is more bad news for the already troubled teenager.


	18. Chapter 17: More Traumatic Times

A quick note to I love music: I'm glad that you are enjoying the story and I'm sorry that I haven't updated recently. I've only just finished my exams and I've been working on other projects, so this was temporarily pushed to one side. But I'm back now and I hope to be able to update more frequently from now on. 

Anyway I hope that you all enjoy the chapter and please let me know if you spot any grammar or spelling errors, not just in this chapter but in the previous ones too. Credit goes to my co-writer Risty, for helping me out with the beginning of this chapter and the plot twist involving Allee.  

*~*~*~*

**Chapter 17: More Traumatic Times**

The following morning was the day when Kane was finally discharged and Emma went to the hospital to meet him. As she was walking through the main hall she saw Allee come out of one of the examining rooms. She was shocked to see that her closest friend was crying and she wondered what was wrong.

"Allee!" she called, hurrying over. "What's wrong?" 

Allee just shook her head and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. Emma persisted. "Come on, you can tell me. I'm your friend, I want to help."

"You can't help," Allee didn't sound angry, just sad. "It's nothing. Nothing." Before Emma could reply, she turned and ran out of the door. Her grandmother, Francine, who Emma had grown close to in recent weeks, came out of the examining room too. She also looked upset and Emma quickly realised that whatever was wrong it was serious.

"Nana," she said, as she'd taken to calling Allee's grandmother. "Why are you here? What's wrong with Allee? It's something serious, isn't it?"

Francine sat down on a chair and patted the seat beside her. Emma sat down and the older woman put an arm around her shoulders.

"Emma, honey," she said gently, sadly. "Has Allee ever mentioned her mother?"

"Yes," the young girl said quietly. "She told me that her mother died of cancer. Ovarian cancer, I think."

"Yes, it was ovarian cancer," Francine paused for a moment and Emma waited patiently until she was ready to start talking again. Although it wasn't really necessary, in her heart she already knew what her friend's grandmother was going to say. "Allee's been feeling a little ill lately so I brought her here for some tests. Today we came to pick up the results. Emma, Allee has ovarian cancer too."

"No…" Although Emma had guessed it, it was still a shock to hear those words. Allee was only her age and her best friend, she couldn't have cancer. "Is she going to be all right?"

"We hope so honey," Francine sniffed and reached into her pocket for a tissue. "The doctor said that they could operate, because the cancer hasn't developed much. But it's risky; they may miss some of it. She's agreed to go under the knife next Friday."

"Allee will be all right," Emma said firmly, without any doubt in her mind. "She's strong and she will be fine."

"That's the spirit, honey," Allee's grandmother patted her shoulder. "It's upsetting for all of us right now, but we have to think positive. For Allee and for ourselves."

"Maybe I should go and find her," the girl suggested. "She might need someone to talk to."

"I think that might be a good idea," Francine nodded. "She will need someone she can talk to, but I'm sure that I don't have to tell you not to push her if she doesn't want to talk straight away. No one can understand that better than you, I am certain."

"No," Emma agreed. "You don't have to tell me, I know what it's like to have everyone asking if you are all right and everything else when all you want to be alone and not talk about it. I'll just let her know that I'm here if she wants to talk. Do you know where she has gone, Nana?"

"I'm afraid I don't, dear," Allee's grandmother sighed and shook her head. "She's probably gone to some place where she can be alone and think, where there isn't likely to be any people."

"The beach and the jetty will be too crowded at this time of day," Emma said thoughtfully. "Unless she has gone further up the beach of course. Maybe she is at the deserted boathouse, I know that she goes there sometimes. I'll try there first. Thank you for telling me, Nana."

"It was the right thing to do," Francine managed a faint smile. "I'm sure of that. You're a good girl, Emma Alexander, and Allee is lucky to have you as a friend."

"I'm lucky to have her as a friend too," the girl said at once, kissing the old woman on the cheek. "And please don't worry. Allee will be fine, I know she will." 

Emma met Kane by the drinks machine and quickly explained that Allee was very upset and she needed to go and see her urgently, although she didn't tell him what was wrong with her. She half expected her boyfriend to be upset or angry, but although he seemed a little puzzled as to what was wrong, he assured her that it was fine and they agreed to meet up at the beach later that afternoon. Then Emma set off on her mission, determined to find her friend. 

She didn't have to search very hard. As she had expected, Allee was at the deserted boathouse, sitting on the dirty ground with her head in her arms. Emma approached her warily.

"Allee?" she said cautiously, trying hard to keep her voice from trembling. "I'm so sorry."

"You know?" Allee didn't look up and so her voice was muffled, but Emma could still just about make out the words.

"Yes," she sat down beside her friend and idly adjusted her watchstrap. She still wasn't sure if Allee would want to confide in her, especially since they hadn't really seen eye to eye over her relationship with Kane, but she hadn't stopped caring for her friend and so she knew that she had to try. "Your grandmother told me."

"I knew that there was always a risk," Allee finally raised her hair and looked at her friend with puffy, tearstained eyes. "It can run in the family and…with my mother and everything, but I never thought that it would happen to me. It doesn't seem real, it feels like I'm in a bad dream."

"You'll be all right, Allee," Emma pulled her into a hug and her friend clung to her, crying a fresh lot of tears into her shoulder. "You're young, you lead a fairly healthy lifestyle, you will be fine. You'll beat this, you have to."

"I hope so," Allee managed a very faint smile. "But I still want you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"If things don't go well," she said softly. "My whole family will be upset, but Gina will take it the hardest. I want you to promise me that you'll be there for her if anything happens to me."

"Of course I will!" Emma promised. "But there is no need to be worried. You'll have the operation and everything will go fine. You have to believe that, there's no sense in worrying about something that'll probably never happen. If you ever need to talk, or you need someone to take your mind off things for a while, you know where I am. I'll be here to support you through this, you know that."

"I know," Allee hugged her again. "Thanks Emma. You're a good friend. And for what it is worth, I'm really sorry that I've given you such a hard time over this business with Kane."

"It's forgotten and you're forgiven," her friend said quickly. "I'm not one to bear grudges over petty arguments, especially not when there are far more important things to worry about. Now come on, I know what you need."

"What?" 

"Chocolate ice-cream," Emma suggested. "Might not actually make the problem go away, but it should help you feel better."

"Why not?" Allee agreed, smiling again although it was still faint. "Shall we go to the Diner?"

"It'll probably be rather crowded in there," Emma pointed out. "Let's go back to my house for a bit. Benny's at work, Lucy's out with Kirsty and Jade and mum has gone to the drop-in centre, so it'll be quiet over there. Jess and Sally are there, looking after Jordan, but we can go up to my room and they won't disturb us. Sound good to you?"

"Great," her friend agreed. "What are we waiting for then?" Slowly she rose to her feet and dusted the dry dirt off her black shorts. "Let's go."

For the next couple of hours, the two girls ate ice cream, played with Jordan and talked, although they stayed away from the news they had received that day and discussed normal things. By the time everyone else started to come home, Allee seemed a little happier.

"Thanks Emma," she said, giving her friend a hug. "Just being normal today…it really made me feel a little better. Your support means a lot to me."

"It's no problem, really. I know that you'd do the same for me. And just remember that if you ever want to talk about it, I'll be here. Or if you just need to do what we did today and forget about it for a while, I'm sure that I can help you with that too."

"I'll remember that," Reluctantly Allee let go of Emma and stepped back. "You won't tell anyone about this, will you? I know that people will find out eventually, but I just need some more time."

"Of course I won't say anything!" Emma said at once. "My lips are sealed. I'll see you tomorrow and please try not to worry too much. You're going to be fine, I know it."

When Allee had gone, Emma sat down with her family to feed Jordan and then left him with her mum while she went off to the beach, where she had arranged to meet Kane. She felt exhausted; the day's events had been too much for her to deal with on top of everything else. While comforting her friend she had had to try hard to keep her emotions under control and it had been difficult. Although she had to believe, for her own piece of mind if nothing else, that Allee was going to be all right, part of her knew that there was a chance that she could lose the girl who had become her closest friend in such a short time.

Kane was already waiting for her when she arrived and he smiled as she approached. However, the smile dropped from his face only to be replaced by a look of concern as he noticed how pale and tired she looked. 

"What's happened, Emma?" he asked, putting his arms around her and pulling her against him. "Has something happened? Is it Allee?"

"Yes," As he held her, she finally allowed herself to cry for the first time since she had heard the news. And through her tears, she told him everything that had happened. Kane was shocked, he and Allee had never gotten on particularly well but that didn't mean that he wasn't sorry for her.

"I told her that I wouldn't say anything to anyone," Emma said finally, when she had finished crying. "So you won't…"

"I won't say a word," he promised. "I'm just glad that you trusted me enough to tell me. Sometimes it's good to share things with someone." He fell silent for a moment and gently kissed the top of her head. "Which reminds me," he continued after a moment. "Your first counselling session with Flynn is tomorrow, isn't it? Do you still want me to be there?"

"If you don't mind," she told him. "I think it would help, having the man I love there with me. But Flynn did say that it could be hard, for the both of us. I wouldn't want it to destroy our relationship."

"I don't think it would," Kane said after a moment of thoughtful silence. "Hard or not, I think it'll be good for us to go together, to get our feelings about everything out in the open. I don't doubt that it will be difficult, but in the end I believe that it will make our relationship stronger."

"I hope you're right," Emma whispered, just before Kane gently kissed her. "I really do hope that things work out for the both of us…" 

**Next chapter:** Emma's counselling doesn't get off to the best start.


	19. Chapter 18: Facing the Past

Sorry it's taken a while for me to get this up, I have been working on it but I've also been getting side-tracked with other stories. However, never fear, it might take me a while to get the chapters up but I will keep going with this. Thanks to Caz, Billy, Louisea and I Love Music for the nice reviews, it means a lot to know that people like this and want to read more. Thanks also to Risty for reading through it and giving me suggestions. 

Warning: This chapter contains talk of rape and some scenes can be considered rather disturbing. I think it's still within the PG-13 guidelines, but please proceed with caution.

Chapter 18: Facing the Past

The following afternoon, Kane and Emma found themselves sitting in a small room with Flynn. The teenagers were seated on a sofa together while the counsellor sat opposite them in a small armchair. Kane stared at the wall and Emma looked down at the floor while Flynn looked through her notes. For a while there was complete silence. 

"Before we start, I wanted to ask you a question," Flynn started, finally putting the file aside and looking up. "Have you ever heard of PTSD? It stands for-" 

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." Emma finished. "I've heard of it, yes. The doctors mentioned it to me a few times while I was in hospital, but they didn't really explain it."

"It is a normal emotional and psychological reaction to trauma; a painful, shocking, experience, such as rape, that is outside of a person's normal life experiences." Flynn explained. "Symptoms can include anxiety, feeling guilty over what happened, suffering from nightmares or overwhelming emotions or having difficulty sleeping. Any or all of them are common in rape victims. Survivors may also suffer from depression, blame themselves or become suicidal, like you are right now."

"Yes," Emma smiled weakly. "I see. It makes more sense now." Beside her, Kane nodded too.

"What is important to remember is that recovery takes time," Flynn told them next. "It generally happens in stages and it's important to remember that sometimes people start with one stage, go onto another and then go back. Each person processes the events in their own way and some people take longer to recover than others. There are no hard or fast rules, or a set time for recovery. We'll just talk through what happened and how you feel and take it from there."

"May I ask a question?" Kane leant forward slightly. "Can you tell us about some of the stages?"

"I can indeed," the counsellor agreed. "One of the earlier stages is denial that the rape had any effect on the survivor's life. I think we've already gotten past that one. Then there's the fear that it will happen again, feeling sad because they've lost their ability to trust people, anger and anxiety."

"Sounds exactly like how I feel at times," Emma smiled faintly, sadly. "Not always though, some days I can almost forget about it, I can look after Jordan, go out with friends, do normal things and often I barely think about it. But it is always there in the back of my mind and sometimes things happen to make it surface. Like the first time Kane ever touched me and when he kissed me on the beach that night. In the past, when men have tried to talk to me and when I read articles or…or hear about other people being attacked, I remember too. Not to mention the nightmares…I want to put it behind me once and for all."

"And that is what we'll do," Flynn promised. "But it is going to take time and I can't pretend that it will be easy. You'll have to talk about what happened and it'll bring back a lot of unpleasant memories. The most important thing is to talk, to cry, do whatever you need to get it out."

"Very well," her voice was determined. "I'm ready. Where shall I start?"

"Wherever you want. If you feel able, you can tell us what happened. But only as much as you want to, going over it again can be very painful."

"I was fifteen," she started. "I'd been with my boyfriend, Damien for almost two years, but the relationship wasn't working out. He was…" she broke off and glanced briefly at Kane before looking back to Flynn, "getting very pushy. He wanted us to sleep together but I wasn't ready for that step. He was very jealous too, he was trying to control me and stop me seeing my friends. I would have left him, but he was my first boyfriend and I cared about him…I thought that he would change." She paused for a moment and neither man spoke, knowing that she was caught up in the memories of the past. 

"He went away with his family to visit relatives in Spain," she continued finally. "And I was relieved because it meant that I could have my freedom back for a while. I didn't…didn't want to go with anyone else, I just wanted to go out and enjoy myself without him asking questions and everything. So a few days after he left, I went out to a nightclub with a few girls I knew from school. I was dressed up a little, a long black skirt and a top, nothing outrageous, just slightly different from what I usually wear. We were dancing and I had one or two drinks, nothing with alcohol though because I wanted to keep a clear head. Then Steven approached us, he was a friend of Benny's and I knew him because he'd been to the house once or twice to see my brother. So I talked to him for a few minutes and then he asked me to dance. I agreed and we danced for a few minutes, but then I started getting a little panicky because of all the people, so he said he would take me outside for some air. Just opposite the club there was this little abandoned wooden shack and he took me in there, where no one could see us…" She paused once again and Flynn asked if she would like a glass of water. She nodded and he left the room for a moment, returning with a glass. Emma took a few sips and placed the glass on the table before continuing.

"We had only been in there a few minutes when he started telling me how beautiful I was and touching my leg," she went on hesitantly. "I moved away from him and told him that I wasn't interested, but then he got really angry. He just came at me and knocked me to the floor, using his body to keep me held down. I tried to fight, I really did, but he was a lot bigger than me and stronger; he lifted weights daily and I was just a little schoolgirl. I didn't stand a chance. He started kissing me and his hands were everywhere, all over, he ripped my top off and I started struggling again and screaming so he hit me in the face and told me to shut up or he would kill me. Then…then he raped me, really forcefully, I still remember the pain. He raped me twice and made me…made me do other things to him too. I did everything he asked because I was…really scared. But I did dig my fingernails into his skin hard enough to draw blood, he hit me again for that but it helped to get him put away in the end. The pain lasted weeks though and it hurt, it hurt so badly!" She could no longer hold the tears back any longer and suddenly her cheeks were wet with them. "I remember crying and I begged him to stop, but he just laughed and said I wanted it. He kept saying it over and over again, that I was a whore and I wanted it. And at the trial, his lawyer said the same thing. That I was asking for it because I had been dressed up and because I'd willingly gone outside with him…"

"You didn't ask for it!" Kane said fiercely, although he sounded shocked and upset too. "I know I can't exactly condemn it, but that man was a complete monster to do that to you and you did nothing to deserve it. Did she, Flynn?"

"No!" Flynn said at once. "Absolutely not! But I can understand how difficult it is to believe that, especially when people say differently. But you said no and you are not responsible for his actions."

"What makes it even harder is the fact that its been coming back to haunt me recently," she told them through her tears. "Like when I found out…" Here she hesitated a moment and glanced at Kane out of the corner of her eye. "Like when I found out about what Kane did to Dani." Her boyfriend tensed visibly and Flynn noticed.

"Would you like to go and get some fresh air?" he asked. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I'm sure that Emma won't mind…"

"No!" Kane interrupted. "Thanks, but I want to stay. This needs to be talked about, our feelings put in the open. And if it helps Emma then it's a good thing."

"When I found out, there were so many different emotions going through my head," Emma reached for his hand and squeezed it gently, turning so that she was facing him. "I felt angry, at myself for having trusted you and at you for lying to me, I felt upset because you'd lied and let me believe that you were something you weren't and I felt guilty, because although I hated you, a part of me still loved you. And that was really difficult for me because I know exactly what Dani must have gone through after you…raped her. I felt dirty, guilty and ashamed because I believed that I'd asked for it, frightened about what else he might do to me. It was months before I could go out alone again, I couldn't bear to have anyone near me and every time I closed my eyes, I was haunted by the image of his face. I hate the man who did this to me; I hate him for taking away my freedom, my confidence, for destroying my relationship and for making me live in fear. I've never hated anyone as much as I hate him and no matter what happens, I will never forgive him. And Dani must have felt the same way too. I felt so guilty knowing that I was in love with the man who had put her through so much pain."

"I know!" There were tears in Kane's eyes now too. "And seeing you like this, I can see now how much my actions must have hurt Dani and I'm so sorry. I'd give anything to be able to go back and do things differently."

"After he was sentenced," Emma continued, "there were long articles about it in the newspaper, about how he was a good man, he'd just had a lapse of judgement because a pretty girl had led him on, he'd misread the signals. Since I've learnt what you did to Dani, I've found myself thinking about him, wondering if he is sorry. And then I wonder what it would be like if he turned up here and said he was sorry and that he wanted to put all of that behind him and start a new life. I think I'd spit in his face and tell him that I never wanted him anywhere near me again, that I could never forgive him. And I'd mean every word. Dani is a lot braver than I am."

"Dani's case was a little different," Flynn said patiently. "That's not to say that what Kane did wasn't terrible, I think we all accept and understand that it was. And rape is always an awful crime. But you were attacked far more violently and more than once, not to mention that you then had to deal with the traumatic experience of discovering that you were pregnant…"

"That was all pretty bad," she agreed, her voice trembling. "And then my boyfriend didn't believe me. Two years we were together and even he accused me of leading the man on. I think I could have handled anything if only he had believed me. And then he went off with another girl, because I couldn't bear to have him near me, I wouldn't let him touch me! He was such a bastard, treating me like that! First my father runs out on us, then I was raped, then my boyfriend calls me a whore and leaves me! Why do all men treat me so badly?" 

"I don't know!" Kane turned to her, concern in his eyes as he reached for her. "But we aren't all bad. Benny's never hurt you, has he? And I would never do anything to hurt you either…"

"Don't touch me!" The minute his hand brushed her shoulder, Emma flinched away, sobbing. "Just don't touch me!"

"But Emma…" Seeing her in so much pain made Kane feel like his heart was being torn out through his chest. "Baby, listen to me. It's all right. I'm here for you, I…"

"Leave her for a minute, Kane," Flynn said calmly. "Talking about such traumatic events is bound to bring back a lot of unpleasant memories and she is in a highly emotional state. It's understandable that being touched brings back memories. Dani had a similar problem too; it's incredibly common with rape victims. Just give her a couple of minutes and she'll be fine."

"He's right," Emma said finally, sitting back and wiping her eyes. Although she still sniffed occasionally, she seemed a lot calmer and both Flynn and Kane could see that her brief crying fit had done her some good. "I'm fine now, Kane. I just…needed that. It's hard, bringing all this to the surface again."

"I know," Flynn nodded. "It's tough, but eventually it'll help you feel better. Maybe we've done enough for today, you should go home and get some rest. We can talk more during our next session."

"Fine," the teenager agreed, her voice more than a little shaky. She looked pale too and she was gripping the arms of the chair hard. "Can I…can I please call Benny and ask him to come and get me?"

"There's no need for that." Kane leant forward slightly although he didn't try and touch her again. "I can walk you home."

"I'd rather…" she hesitated and glanced at him briefly, not wanting to hurt him but knowing that her words probably would. "I'd rather call Benny, if you don't mind. I really need some time to myself just now, Kane. To get my head straight after today. I'm sorry but I can't…can't be around you just now."

"Very well." He was hurt but he did his best to hide it, understanding why she felt like she did. "I'll go then if that is what you want. But please remember that I love you and I'll be around if you need me."

"I love you too," Emma said at once. "Thank you for being understanding. I'll call you in a day or so."

"All right, babe." As he got up, she managed to give his hand a faint squeeze. "I'll talk to you later. You take care of yourself and please let me know if you need anything."

She nodded and Kane smiled briefly at her, nodded once to Flynn and then left, shutting the door softly behind him. There was silence after he had left; Emma sat looking down at her lap.

"I upset him," she said softly, more to herself than Flynn. "But I couldn't help it. To have him around brings things back…I think I need to go home."

"That's a good idea." Flynn patted her shoulder as she stood up and moved over to the desk. "This has been hard for you, but go home and get some rest now and hopefully you'll feel a little better tomorrow. It's difficult right now, for you and for Kane, but things will get easier in time."

"I know," Emma dialled her older brother's number, knowing that he would probably just be finishing work and would be more than willing to stop by the Drop-In centre on his way home. "I did expect it to be this hard, but it's just something I've got to do. I've got to learn to put the past behind me if I want to move on and I really do…" she broke off as Benny picked up the phone and quickly said a few words to him, before hanging up. "He said he'll be here in five minutes," she told her counsellor. "Thanks for today, Flynn, and I'll see you next time. Hopefully we'll be able…able to make some more progress. I just want to get all of this over with as soon as possible…"

Next chapter: After receiving bad news from Alf, Kane finds comfort in an unlikely place as he struggles to cope with recent events and Lucy causes her family more trouble when she finds herself a new friend… 


	20. Chapter 19: The Older Boy

A /N: Thanks to all for the nice reviews. Nice to know that people are enjoying this. Thanks to Risty for reading it first and helping me to get it finished. I love music: Don't worry, I have no intention of quitting this, the only reason I haven't updated is because I've been very busy with college work and haven't had a chance to write anything for weeks. I'll try and update a little more regularly from now on.

**Chapter 19: The Older Boy**

****

For the next few days, Kane mostly stayed at home taking care of his aunt, venturing out only when he had to, to do some shopping or get a little air, all the time hoping that Emma would call. He knew that he could call her, or go to the house while Benny was at work, but he didn't. She needed time alone and, although he felt hurt that she was pushing him away, he accepted that. She would call him when she was ready. 

She did finally call, four days after their counselling session, but only to tell him that she had another that afternoon and she didn't want him there.

"This is something that I have to do on my own right now," she explained. "Maybe you can come to the next one with me, we'll see."

He had accepted that without argument and asked her when he would see her again. She had hesitated, and then told him that maybe the two of them could take Jordan to the beach that weekend. And although she said that she loved him just before she hung up; the whole conversation still left Kane feeling rather empty. He loved Emma and desperately wanted to help her through her issues surrounding the rape, but he couldn't help wondering if his past was going to end up destroying another relationship…

As well as the problems with his relationship, Kane had other worries on his mind too, mainly money. He had been working on this and that since leaving the Bay and had some savings, but they wouldn't last for much longer and he knew that he had to get a job, even just a part time one, before his money run out completely. The problem was actually finding one. The gym was always a possibility, except that Josh worked there too and Kane really didn't want any trouble. What he really wanted to do was work with the boats again, but he doubted that Alf would want him and Benny working side by side. Nevertheless, it was still worth a try.  

That afternoon, after making sure that his aunt was comfortable and that she had everything she needed, he left the house and made his way across town to the jetty. Luckily Benny wasn't there, Kane assumed that he was on his lunch break, but Alf was. The older man smiled through a mouthful of sandwich when he saw Kane and gestured to him to sit down.

"Good to see you again, Kane," he said, after swallowing his mouthful. "Something I can do for you?"

Briefly, Kane explained how his money was running out and he needed a job to support himself and his aunt but how he was having trouble finding anything in the Bay. Alf nodded understandingly while he was talking, frowning slightly as he did.

"I'd like to be able to help you out, Kane," he said finally, his voice sincere but firm. "You're a good lad, despite all that trouble in the past, and I know how difficult things must be with your aunt being sick and everything. In other circumstances I would be more than happy to have you working with me, but…"

"Benny." Kane stated flatly, not at all surprised. He didn't blame Alf for not wanting any trouble, nor could he blame Benny for not trusting him, but he was still angry. He needed work, he needed money and he loved working with boats. Working alongside Alf was the one thing he really wanted to do…and he couldn't because one man had it in for him.

"Benny's a good worker," Alf told him. "He's become a good friend too, and to be fair he was here first. I'd have you both working for me in an instant if there weren't all this trouble between the two of you. But with things the way they are right now, I don't think it's a good idea for the two of you to be anywhere near each other. If you could resolve your differences, I'd give you a job on the spot, Kane, but I can't be having any trouble between you." 

"I understand," Kane muttered, rising from his seat. "Thanks anyway, Alf."

"You could always try the gym," Alf suggested as he walked away. "They are always looking for people. I'll put in a good word for you if you like."

"Thanks," the young man repeated, forcing a smile. "I'd appreciate it."

*~*~*~*~*

When Lucy met up with Kirsty and Jade on the beach that afternoon, she was surprised to see a tall, tanned boy with short dark blond hair sitting on the sand with them. He looked rather old, about seventeen or eighteen and was very attractive.

"Hi Lucy!" Jade looked up and smiled. "Everything all right?"

"Not bad!" Lucy grinned back at them. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Dylan," Kirsty told her. "I don't know if you've met him already. Dylan, this is Lucy Alexander, our new friend. Her family moved here a few weeks ago."

"I'm pleased to meet you, Lucy," Dylan held out his hand and Lucy shook it, blushing faintly. He was very cute…but she knew that he was far too old for her. Benny and her mum would go completely mad if she started seeing him…and yet it was still a tempting thought. "I've already met your sister, Allee introduced us. How are you liking Summer Bay so far?" 

"It's brilliant!" She said at once. "Everyone has been so nice to us and Kirsty and Jade have been showing me around."

"Are you going to Summer Bay High?" he asked. "Term starts next week, doesn't it?"

"Don't remind us!" Kirsty made a face and Jade and Lucy laughed.

"Yes," she told him. "I'll be going there with these two and Seb and Nick."

"Looking forward to it?"

"Does anyone?" Jade asked. "I can't believe the holidays are nearly over."

"Me neither," Kirsty sighed. "They always go flying past."

"Well I'm quite looking forward to it," Lucy admitted. "I don't like school much, I never have, but it'll be fun going to a new place."

"That's the spirit!" Dylan grinned at her and patted her shoulder. "I'll be there too, you can always come over and say hello if you see me around, these two do it all the time."

"I will," Lucy agreed, still blushing and hoping that it wasn't too noticeable. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." He smiled again, then turned to the twins. "I've got to go. I'll see all of you later. Bye you two, bye Lucy!"

He waved his hand and then turned and started to walk away, pausing only once to glance back over his shoulder at them and smile.

"He's nice," Lucy said, trying to keep her voice casual. The twins looked at each other and laughed, not the least bit fooled. 

"You like him, don't you?" Kirsty laughed as Lucy blushed. "I don't blame you, he's a nice guy."

"Very nice." Jade agreed. "If you like him, go for it."

"He'll never be interested in me."

"We'll help you get him," Kirsty promised. "Won't we, Jade?" Her twin sister nodded. "He obviously likes you, so all we have to do is build on that. We need is a plan."

*~*~*~*~*~*

That evening, Kane found himself standing on the deserted jetty. He knew that he should go home, but he couldn't face it just then. When he had gone to the gym, Jesse had kindly informed him that they didn't need anyone else just then. Nothing personal, just bad luck. So he was still without a job and it didn't look as though he would be able to find one any time soon. No matter how hard he tried to put his past behind him, it always came back to haunt him in the end.

The sound of footsteps startled him from his thoughts. He turned his head and was fairly alarmed to see Dani approaching, probably on her way to meet Josh.

"I…I…" He was nervous, not quite sure what to say. The two had seen each other around since he had come back, but he had always taken care to keep out of her way. And it was growing late; there weren't many other people around, just the two of them. Finally he found his voice. "I was just going."

"You don't…" Dani hesitated and then shook her head. "You don't have to leave because I'm here. Just…stay where you are."

"Very well." Kane nodded and turned back to looking across the sea. "How…have you been recently?"

"Well enough," the girl smiled briefly, though it was hardly noticeable in the darkness. "Though I hardly dare say it, things finally seem to be going right for once. For me, for mum and dad, for all of us."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"How about you?" she asked, much to his surprise. "Tell me to mind my own business if you like, but I couldn't help noticing that you really don't look happy."

"My aunt isn't doing well," Kane said after a moment, hardly able to believe that he and Dani Sutherland were having this conversation. "She's had to spend a lot of time in bed recent, it's frustrating for her and upsetting for me. She insists that I go out, but I really don't like leaving her for too long in case she needs something. Her neighbours come in regularly to check on her, but often it's just me and her."

"That must be hard."

"It is," he agreed. "And I can't find a job either, Alf won't employ me on the boats because he's worried that Benny and I might end up killing each other and Jesse says that he doesn't need anyone else at the gym just now."

"Hopefully something will come up sooner or later," Dani nodded sympathetically. "What about you and Emma? Is everything okay between you two?" 

"Things have been…difficult recently," Kane admitted hesitantly. "Since she started with this counselling business, she's been keeping her distance from me."

"It can't be easy for her," Dani said thoughtfully, not looking at him. "I remember how I felt when I did my counselling, it was horrible, really upsetting. I had to take all these memories I had tried to forget and remember them all again so that I could start dealing with them. That was pretty traumatic at first and I found it difficult to have Josh near me too, for a while. But it will get easier in time, for the both of you."

"I hope so," he put his elbows on the damp wood and put his head in his hands. "It's so hard for me too, she's hurting and I want to help her, but I can't. I'd do anything for her, Dani, but I can't make the memories go away."

"All you can do is be there for her and let her know that you're ready to listen whenever she needs to talk. She might be pushing you away right now, but she will need your support soon enough." She paused and turned to him, studying him in the near darkness. "You really do love her, don't you?"

"Of course I do!" Kane said at once. "I've never felt this way about anyone before, it almost feels like I've been given a second chance. We'll get through all this somehow, we'll have to because I'm not letting her go, no matter what anyone has to say about it." He fell silent and when he spoke again, his voice was slightly strained. "I suppose it's thanks to you that we've got this far," he admitted. "Agreeing to give me another chance and everything, I can't thank you enough for that, Dani."

"We've all got to put the past behind us at some point," Dani shrugged her shoulders. "Emma's a nice girl and I think you are good together. It's time for all of us to put our differences aside and move on."

"You're right, of course." Kane admitted. "It's just a shame that not everyone feels the same way."

"Dad's very wary," she told him. "But he'll come round in time. And so will Benny, you'll see. If you are that worried, maybe you should try talking to him. I'm sure that it won't be as bad as you think."

"Maybe I will. I suppose it couldn't make things much worse than they already are and if I show him that I've changed…" he smiled faintly. "Thanks Dani. I feel a lot better now. I'd better get back, see to my aunt. I don't like to leave her alone for too long. I'll…see you around."

"Yes," Dani smiled back at him, ever so slightly. "Take care of yourself, Kane."

As he walked away, Kane felt better than he had all day. Dani had made an effort to be friendly and he understood now how hard that must have been for her. And she had been right; it was time for him to take matters into his own hands. First thing in the morning, he would go to see Benny…  

Next chapter: Kane tries to make amends with Benny but doesn't quite get the results he hoped for and Kirsty's relationship with Seb runs into difficulties.


	21. Chapter 20: Threats and Promises

Chapter 20: Threats and Promises

Kane was down by the docks early the following morning, waiting for Benny to come along. He knew that the older man often came down early and he wanted to catch him while there was no one about. He had no idea what he was going to say, it just seemed important to make Benny understand that he had changed, that he was trying hard to make up for the things he had done in the past and that he loved Emma and wanted to take care of her.

He didn't have to wait long, ten minutes after he arrived, he saw Benny walking towards him. He stepped forward, their eyes met and the older man scowled at him.

"Look what the cat dragged in," he taunted. "What do you want, Philips? Taken up stalking now, have we?"

"I've been waiting for you," Kane admitted, not rising to the bait. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to scum like you," Benny narrowed his eyes and spat in Kane's face. "Clear off!" 

"Listen to me for a minute!" he pleaded, wiping the saliva off his face. "I just want to explain..."

"Are you completely and utterly stupid?" Benny growled, roughly shoving the younger man aside. Kane fell hard against the railings and winced slightly at the sudden pain in his side. "I have nothing to say to you. The sight of you makes me sick!"

"I know that what I did to Dani was wrong!" Kane said quickly. "And what happened with Kirsty…that was so stupid. But I've been punished for it, all of it! All I want to do is put it behind me and get on with my life."

"Don't make me laugh!" Benny turned and glared at him. "Men like you never change. I should know; I was locked up with people who started off like you. I don't like you, Kane Philips, and if I had my way, you would be out of my sister's life forever. But she sees something good in you, though I can't imagine what. Once a loser, always a loser."

"I do love Emma, you know," Kane said quietly. "I want to take care of her and Jordan. You're probably right about me, Benny, perhaps I am a loser, a pathetic excuse for a human being, but being with her makes me a better person. I understand why you're so worried, but I swear to you that I'd never do anything to hurt her…"

"No," Benny agreed, his voice cold. "No, you won't. Because if you do I swear I'll personally see to it that you never walk again. That's a promise, Kane Philips, and I always keep my promises. So get on with what you have to do, just make sure you stay well out of my way. Understand?"

Kane nodded blankly, knowing that there was nothing he could really say to that, at least nothing that would make things any better. He knew that Benny meant just what he said and it didn't appear as though things would change any time soon. Still, he told himself, as he watched the older man walk away, at least he had tried. 

*~*~*~*

"Are you scared?" Emma asked, sitting on Allee's bed and watching as her friend packed some clothes into a small suitcase.

"Kind of," Allee answered, folding a nightgown. "I'm more scared for my family really. We've been through everything together, even Mum's death, but I'm really scared for Gina."

Emma nodded. "I can understand. She wasn't very old when your mum died, was she?"

"Two weeks old." Allee said, zipping the case closed. "Flynn said I was gonna be okay." She looked at the bedspread and smoothed a wrinkle out of it. Emma put an arm around her friend.

"You will be okay, Allee. Don't doubt yourself. Flynn said they caught it in time, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't stop the risks." Allee stood up and picked up the case. "Dad's driving me to the hospital. Will you…will you come with me?"

"Of course I will!" Emma followed her out of the room.

Cameron Andrews stopped the car at the doors to the hospital. "We're here," he said, smiling at Allee and at Emma. "Good luck, Sweet Pea."

"Dad!" Allee said with a weak smile. "Don't call me that!"

"What? Sweet Pea?" Her dad teased. She laughed for the first time in weeks and kissed his cheek.

"Come and see me, okay?"

"Of course. I'll pop up this evening when I finish work, make sure you've settled in.

Allee and Emma hopped out of the car and met Flynn just inside the doors.

"Okay, Allee, we're going to set you up in a room first and we'll put you in theatre first thing in the morning." Flynn told her. "Just follow me."

"Can Emma come?"

"Of course she can," Flynn smiled at them and Emma smiled back, a sad smile, yet a determined one. Allee took her hand and squeezed it tightly, and she squeezed back.

Once Flynn had made sure that Allee was settled, he left the two girls alone for a while.

"How's the counselling going?" Allee asked her friend. Emma shrugged and paused for a moment to consider her answer.

"As well as can be expected," she said finally. "It's difficult, but Flynn says I'm making progress. I've just got to keep going."

"And how are things with Kane? Is he taking it well?"

"I've…I've cooled things down for a bit," Emma admitted. "I just need some time to get my head straight and sort things out by myself. Counselling has brought back a lot of unpleasant memories and I find it…hard to be around him just now."

"But it won't be permanent, will it?" Allee asked. "I can tell you really like him."

"I do," she smiled faintly. "He's absolutely wonderful with Jordan, I never thought I'd find a man willing to take him on too. And Kane's kind and sweet and understanding…and I do love him, even despite what he did to Dani and everything, but sometimes it can be hard."

"Do you wish you'd never found out?"

"I'm glad that it's out in the open now," Emma said at once. "At least now we can deal with the consequences together rather than living a lie. We'll get through all this in time. I suppose the only thing that worries me in the long run is…is Kirsty."

"I see."

"It's not that I don't like Kirsty," the girl continued quickly. "I think she's all right, better than a lot of my sister's old friends anyway. But I feel uneasy about her and Kane being on friendly terms. They have a history and I know that she still has feelings for him. What if he decides that he wants her instead of me? I couldn't cope with being hurt like that again."

"What happened with Kirsty is past," Allee said at once, putting her arms around her best friend. "Kane loves you and it's you he wants to be with, not her."

"She's prettier than me and more fun. And she hasn't got any other responsibilities, not like my Jordan."

"Stop that!" Allee ordered. "You're mature, responsible, strong when you need to be. All right, maybe a bit withdrawn and depressed sometimes, but you are also a good listener and a great friend, someone people feel comfortable with and can really trust."

"Allee!" A faint blush was creeping into Emma's cheeks. She had never developed the art of accepting praise well. 

"Now Kirsty," Allee was pleased to see that her words were having a positive effect on her friend. "She might be all the things you said, but she can also be childish, spoilt, selfish, has little sense of real loyalty and often tends to act without thinking…like when she got involved with Kane behind Dani's back. I still can't believe she did that to her own sister. Anyway, she's still young and she'll probably grow up soon enough, but I'm guessing that Kane wants a real woman and I doubt that's going to change. And she is not prettier than you, you're absolutely gorgeous, you just need to make the most of what you've got a little more. I tell you what, when I get out of here, Dani and me will give you a proper makeover. We could have a girl's night in. What do you say?"

"Sounds great," her friend smiled, her face still red. "Just what we all need, thought we'll have to get rid of the younger sisters first. Do you know what Lucy did to my favourite top yesterday?"

The mood lightened a little as the two girls exchanged horror stories about their younger siblings for a while. Finally Emma stretched and stood up.

"I'm going to have to get back," she said reluctantly. "I don't like to leave Jordan for too long and I want to be back before he goes down for his afternoon nap. I'll come back to see you tomorrow evening, after your operation."

"Will you bring Jordan with you? I'd love to see him."

"Of course," Now it was Emma's turn to give her friend a hug. "And don't worry about tomorrow. You're going to be fine, I know it."

*~*~*~*

Kirsty, Seb, Nick and Jade were having a good laugh in the diner, talking about the horrors of going back to school, but that all stopped when Kane walked in. His eyes briefly met Kirsty's, he smiled faintly and she smiled back, a smile from one friend to another. He took his order and left, leaving the atmosphere very tense. Seb was scowling, Nick looked annoyed and Jade was worried. 

"What a loser," Seb muttered. "He has a nerve walking in here after everything he's done."

"Let's leave it, Seb!" Kirsty begged. "He's gone now, so let's just…"

"You smiled at him!" Seb looked at her, hurt, puzzled and angry. "He smiled at you and you smiled back!"

"He's a friend," his girlfriend said at once. "There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"He's your ex-boyfriend and the guy who raped your sister!" Seb snapped and Jade flinched and took a deep breath. "Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that? What do you want to be friends with him for anyway? Do you still have feelings for him?"

"Of course not!"

"Since he came back, you've been different." Seb turned away from her. "You don't want to be here with me, do you? You'd rather be with him!"

"You're being stupid, Seb!" Kirsty protested. "The thing with me and Kane, it's all in the past now. Over and done with."

"Well I don't believe it!" Seb pushed his chair back and stood up. "I can't believe it, even though I want to. And I can't stay here with you right now."

He turned and left. Nick glared at Kirsty and jumped up.

"I'm going after him," he told Jade. "I'll catch you later, babe."

He left too, leaving the twins alone. Kirsty had tears in her eyes and her sister awkwardly patted her arm, not knowing what to say. It'd all blow over in time, she was sure. Seb had always been wound up by the mere mention of Kane and having him around wasn't easy…but hopefully things would blow over in a few days.

Next chapter: Emma and Kane finally manage to sort out their differences, but Kirsty is left confused by her feelings.


	22. Chapter 21: Heartbroken!

**Chapter 21: Heartbroken!**

****

That night, after ensuring that his aunt was comfortable, Kane began watching a late night movie and ended up falling asleep on the sofa. He didn't wake up until just after nine the following morning, when he heard his aunt calling for him. He took her up a cup of tea and some breakfast and sat with her for a while. Just as he was leaving her room, someone rang the doorbell. Kane hesitated, aware that his hair was messy, his clothes rumpled, then decided it didn't matter. Surely it wouldn't be anyone important so early in the morning? 

"Emma!" he said, startled to see his girlfriend standing on the doorstep, Jordan in her arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't wake you, did I?" she asked, taking in his untidy appearance. "Mum has taken Lucy up to Yabbie Creek to get things for school and we needed to get out, so I thought we'd come and see you. Besides, I think we need to talk, don't you?"

"It's…it's fine, I just didn't expect to see you. Here, let me take him," he reached for Jordan and Emma passed her son to him. "Come in. Sorry about the mess."

"Daddy!" Jordan laughed, clinging to his shoulder and patting the side of his face. Kane smiled and so did Emma, though she looked a little embarrassed too. 

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "He says that to a lot of people, it doesn't mean anything-"

"It doesn't matter." Kane cut her off, amused. "I don't mind, why should I?"

"I just…" Emma couldn't quite meet his eyes. "I don't want you, or anyone else, to think that I'm trying to force my child onto you, that's all."

"Don't be silly," her boyfriend smiled and kissed Jordan's forehead. "Actually, I'm rather honoured. I was just about make some toast if you want some."

"Kane!" His aunt called down the stairs. "Who is it, darling?"

"It's Emma!" Kane called back. "You remember, the girl I told you about?" He turned to Emma. "Would you like to come up and meet her? I've told her all about you and Jordan."

"All right," Nervously, Emma followed him up the stairs. She knew that Kane's aunt was very important to him and she didn't want to make the wrong impression. But she didn't have to worry; the elderly lady lying in bed wasn't at all frightening.

"This is Emma," Kane told her. "And her son, Jordan. Emma, my aunt Rose."

"Hello," Emma said shyly. Jordan copied her, studying the lady with interest though he kept a tight hold on his mum.

"Hello dear," Kane's aunt smiled warmly. "It is nice to meet you at last. I have heard a lot about you."

"I'll just leave you two alone for a few minutes," Kane told them. "I need to have a quick shower. I'll be back soon."

He left and Kane's aunt patted the edge of her bed. Emma sat down, her son on her knee, a little unsure of what to say. But Rose was the first to speak.

"So you are Kane's girlfriend?" she asked. "Emma, is it? He talks about you all the time, you know, you and your little one. He thinks a lot of you."

"And I think a lot of him," Emma said at once. "Things haven't been easy, with all that stuff about his past and everything, but we are getting through it."

"I'm glad," the older woman smiled. "I know Kane has made mistakes, but he isn't a bad lad really, not deep down. I think you are good for him; he needs more friends in the Bay. Just don't," she paused and Emma looked at her curiously, "just don't hurt him, will you, dear? I wouldn't like to see him get hurt again."

"I have no intention of hurting him," Emma promised her. "There is no need for you to worry about that. I love him."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yes," she didn't even need to hesitate. "I love Kane, I really do."

"Then I hope that everything works out for you both," Kane's aunt told her. "You certainly have my full support." 

"Full support for what?" Kane appeared in the doorway, casually dressed in shorts and a loose shirt, his hair still wet from his shower. "Is everything all right, auntie?"

"Perfect," she smiled and nodded. "Absolutely perfect. You all go and have some breakfast, I'll be fine."

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting on the sofa in the front room, eating jam and toast in front of the television. Jordan was sitting on the floor, engrossed in his cartoons, muttering away to himself and occasionally glancing round to make sure that his mum was still sitting behind him.

Neither Emma nor Kane spoke for a while. Hesitantly, unsure of what her reaction would be, he slipped an arm around her shoulders. She rested her head against his shoulder, relaxed.

"I'm really glad you came by," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I was beginning to think that I'd done something to really upset you."

"Of course not! I'm really sorry I've been off with you lately, Kane. I just needed some time to myself, to get my feelings in order after all this counselling business."

"There is no need to apologise," Kane stroked her hair. "I understand how difficult all this must be for you. Especially after…what I did. But you do know that I…I'm sorry for that, don't you?"

"Oh Kane!" Emma looked up at him, and touched his face lightly. He turned his head slightly to kiss her palm. "I know that you're sorry and you can see that what you did was wrong. Thank you, thank you so much for being so understanding about all this." Surprising them both, she kissed him, embracing him fiercely. "I do love you, I really do. I am so lucky to have met you."

"I think I'm the lucky one," Kane kissed her again, his arms encircling her tightly, protectively. "I really thought that you wouldn't want anything more to do with me after you had found out about Dani…and I am so glad that it didn't happen. I feel like I have been given a second chance. I love you too."

"Yuck!" As they kissed again, Jordan turned around and giggled. "Kisses."

"Do you want one?" Reluctantly pulling away from Kane, Emma lifted him onto her lap and gave him a kiss. He cuddled against her and put his thumb in his mouth. "You know," she said, turning back to her boyfriend. "I've been doing a lot of thinking these last few days, about the past and everything, and I really think I'm ready to move on. From now, I am going to try and focus on the future."

"That's wonderful," Kane brushed his lips against hers once again, taking her hand in his. "I can understand why you are so upset about what happened, but it's better if you don't let it control the rest of your life. I'll do everything I can to help you and support you; you know that, don't you? If you ever need to talk or someone to hold you, you come to me at any time you need to, even if it is the middle of the night. And if that bastard who hurt you ever showed his face here, I really would kill him for what he did to you."

"You would have to get there before Benny did," Emma gave a weak smile. "Thanks, Kane. I don't know what I'd do without you. From today, this is a new start for us. We can put all the bad stuff behind us and start again."

"A new start," he agreed. "How about we celebrate that with lunch at the Diner? My treat."

"Lunch," Jordan said firmly. "Sausages, lunch."

*~*~*~*

The Diner was getting busy when they arrived as it was nearing lunchtime, but they managed to get a corner table. It hardly mattered anyway as they sat so close together that Emma was practically sitting on Kane's lap. Jordan had some sausages, his favourite, and a beaker of milk, while Kane and Emma both took turns at feeding him and feeding food to each other, occasionally pausing to exchange a quick kiss or two.

"I don't think I have ever been this happy," he said suddenly, gently raising his hand to stroke her cheek, brushing bits of her dark hair behind her ear. "I don't want this to end."

"It won't," she slipped her hand round to the back of his neck, running her fingers through his hair. "It can't. It'll be all right, Kane, we'll make things work no matter what anyone says."

He smiled and leant in to kiss her. Emma responded immediately and for a moment, they completely forgot where they were. Until there was a cough from beside them. 

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves," they drew apart and glanced up to see Colleen glaring at them. "Making such a scene in public! Honestly, I don't know what the world is coming to!"

"Oh, leave them be, Colleen!" Alf gently scowled her, from where he was leaning on the counter waiting for Leah to finish making his lunch. "They're in love."

"Well I still don't think that is any excuse for such public displays of affection," Colleen grumbled. Picking up a stack of plates, she went through to the back, still muttering away to herself. Alf smiled over at Kane and Emma, who both smiled back at him before turning back to each other. They were good kids really and he was glad that they were happy. He just felt relieved that he hadn't sent Benny to get their lunch instead. He watched them for just a moment before taking up his sandwiches and cake and leaving the Diner.

Kirsty, who was sitting alone in the corner with a chocolate milkshake, found she had a lump in her throat as she watched them. As Kane fed Emma a piece of apple and then turned to help Jordan with his milk, she was forced to admit that they did look like one happy family. For everyone's sake, she had attempted to push her feelings for Kane away, telling herself that their relationship was in the past. Keeping everyone happy, having him as a friend, was more important and she really was pleased that he was happy with Emma. And yet she knew that she still did love him and seeing him with her, being so loving and affectionate, hurt her more than she had imagined it would. As a single tear fell into her drink, she really did feel as though her heart was breaking. 

*~*~*~*

When Emma popped back home, a few hours later, Jess told her that Cameron had called to say that Allee had woken up. 

"Is she all right?" Emma asked at once. Jess smiled and nodded.

"Cameron did say that they wouldn't know the results of the operation for another day or so and she has to stay in hospital until they know for sure, but she seems fine. He says you can go and see her as soon as you like."

"I'll go now!" Emma gave the young woman a quick hug, grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge for Jordan and hurried out of the door. "Tell mum that I'll be back later!"

Together she, Kane and Jordan made their way to the hospital. It was quite a walk but the teenagers didn't mind. It was nice to get out on their own, away from everything. They chatted about nothing in particular, laughed about what Colleen had said and it felt as though they were a real family. 

Allee was lying down, dozing when they arrived, but she woke up as they entered the room. "Hey Emma," she said sleepily and winced. "Ow! Stitches. Hey Kane! Hello Jordan." She grinned at Emma, the look on her friend's face telling her that they had managed to work things out. "How's your day been?"

"Fine, how about yours?" Emma said jokingly. Allee managed a smile.

"Been sleeping most of the day. Dad said you called just after I went into theatre?"

"Just wanted to check how you were."

"Bad timing." Allee yawned. "Can I hold Jordan for a minute?" 

"Of course," Emma nodded and Kane handed him to Allee. He grinned at her and patted her face gently.

"Nice to see that you're okay," Kane said awkwardly. "Emma's been pretty worried about you. Actually, I think a lot of people have. I-I was too."

"Thanks," Allee yawned again and Jordan giggled.

"Tired," he said. "Go sleep."

"I feel like I need it," Allee admitted. Emma took Jordan from her, balancing him on her hip. "Do you mind if I-?"

"Don't be stupid, it's fine. Go to sleep and I promise I'll come back and see you tomorrow morning. First thing."

"I'll be looking forward to it," Allee muttered as her eyes began to close. The last thing she saw was Kane giving her best friend a quick kiss before sleep overcame her.

Next chapter: As school starts again, Lucy attempts to impress Dylan and Kirsty writes Kane a letter, but panics when she discovers that it is missing… 


	23. Chapter 22: Complicated Relationships

Thank you to everyone for the nice reviews…it means a lot to know that people are enjoying this story. 

**Chapter 22: Complicated Relationships**

****

The weekend before school started was rather hectic and the Sutherland girls didn't get a chance to go out much. Jade complained, but Kirsty didn't mind much; being inside was better than going outside, to the beach or the Diner, and having to watch Kane and Emma play happy families. She knew that she was jealous, but she couldn't help it. Though she thought a lot of Seb and had truly tried to put the past behind her, she could not deny that she still loved Kane and seeing him with someone else hurt more than she had thought that it would.

On Sunday night, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Memories of the times she had shared with Kane went round and round in her head until she felt as though she was beginning to go crazy. What if they hadn't returned to the Bay? What if they had refused to let her family, their guilt about hurting Dani, come between them? Kirsty knew that they could have stayed together, could have overcome all the obstacles eventually.

She waited until she was sure that Jade was asleep before getting out of bed and sitting down at her desk. Taking a piece of paper, she sat and wrote, pouring out all her emotions in a letter to Kane. She wrote about their time together after the shipwreck, how she had come to realise that he wasn't as bad as she had first thought. _I was so frightened when I found out that I was falling in love with you. I didn't want to hurt anyone but I couldn't deny my feelings. _Then she went on to explain how devastated she had been when he left her. _I know that you were only trying to do the right thing, but I really wish that you had stayed with me. It hurt so much when you left me and even though the pain faded in time, it never really went away._ _We are meant to be together, Kane, you know we are. I think about you all the time, whenever you smile at me, I still get butterflies in my stomach. When you hold me in your arms, I feel so safe, it's like we are the only two people in the world. I wish we were, I wish we could be together properly without having to worry about hurting everyone. I want you, I need you, and I will always love you, now and forever. Always thinking of you, your darling Kirsty._

Kirsty folded it, slipped in into an envelope and wrote his name on the front. She sat with it in her hand for a few moments, staring out of the window at the moon, which was nearly full. Writing it had done her good and now she really wanted him to read it, but she knew that it was not possible. No matter how much she loved him, she didn't want to get hurt and she knew that right now, it wasn't her he wanted. And she didn't want to be the one to spoil his chance of happiness.

Beginning to grow tired and knowing that she had an early start the next day, she placed the envelope on top of her schoolbooks and got into bed. It wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep. 

*~*~*~*

The following day was the first day of term and it was quite a rush in the Sutherland household. All of them woke up late and the three girls and Max had to hurry to get their things together and get to school. As she picked up her books, Kirsty noticed the letter she had left there the night before and shoved it into her bag without thinking before hurrying down the stairs to catch up with her twin sister.

The morning passed reasonably uneventfully. Lucy, being younger, wasn't in the same classes as the twins, but she walked to school with them and they met up at lunchtime. The younger girl seemed happy enough; she liked everything about the school, her classmates and even the teachers.

They went to the Diner for lunch, with Nick, Seb and Dylan. The atmosphere was a little tense, Seb was ignoring Kirsty and she did the same to him, though Nick, Jade, Lucy and Dylan tried their best to lighten things up. Lucy tried her best to act cool and sophisticated, wanting to show Dylan how mature and adult she could be, but Nick made a joke when she had just taken a drink of coke and it all fizzled out of her nose. She was very embarrassed, but Dylan just smiled and handed her a tissue to clean herself up with, telling the others not to laugh at her. Lucy decided that she liked him even more after that, not only was he good-looking, but he was also nice, even if he was older. All she needed to do was convince him that she was mature enough for him to go out with. 

When they got back to school, Kirsty suddenly remembered the letter and decided that she should probably put it in her locker where it would be safe until she had decided what to do with it. But when she opened her bag, she was alarmed to see that the envelope was no longer there. Trying to stay calm, she rooted through her bag, telling herself that it must have slipped inside one of her books. But after five minutes of frantic searching, Kirsty was forced to admit that it wasn't there. It had no doubt fallen out, but she had no idea where. It could be anywhere, Kane could find it, or Emma, or even her parents. 

Throwing her books back into her bag, Kirsty hurried down the corridor in the direction of the main door, keeping an eye out for Mr. Fisher or any of the teachers. Lunch was very nearly over, but she didn't care. She needed to find the letter and quickly.

"Kirsty!" Not paying much attention to what was in front of her, she walked right into Dani. "What's the rush?"

"I've lost something," Kirsty was in too much of a hurry to come up with anything but the truth. "A letter…and I have to find it again. It's very important!"

"To Kane?" Dani asked and her sister looked at her in surprise. "I found it in the garden this morning, just after you had gone."

"Have you still got it?"

"No," the older girl shook her head. "I gave it to Alf and he said that he'll see that Kane gets it. Are you all right, Kirst?" She looked at her younger sister with some concern. "You look pale."

"I'm fine," Kirsty muttered, turning away. "Thanks Dani, I have to get to class." It was no use being annoyed at her older sister, she had only been trying to help, but she knew that it was useless to try and get the letter back now. Kane had probably already read it. She could only hope that he would understand…and perhaps even be a little bit pleased. 

Next chapter: Kane has a lot of explaining to do when Kirsty's letter falls into the wrong hands.


	24. Chapter 23: Dangerous Love

Chapter 23: Dangerous Love

After Dani had given him the letter, Alf tucked it away and immediately forgot all about it. At least until he and Benny were taking their lunch break after a hard morning's work, eating their sandwiches that Leah had carefully prepared for them that morning. They were discussing the possibility of getting in someone else to help Benny when Alf wasn't around.

"You know that Kane Philips is looking for a job," Alf started. "Came to see me a few days ago, asked if I would consider taking him on. He's a good worker, you know, knows the ropes and everything. Reliable."

"So why don't you take him on?" Benny asked, through a mouthful of bread and cheese. "Because of me, I presume?"

"It is common knowledge that you two don't get along," Alf shrugged. "I didn't think it was a good idea with the way things are now. I told him that I couldn't be having my workers fighting or arguing amongst themselves, particularly when I'm not around to put a stop to it. And you were here first, you've proven yourself a good worker and friend, so you stay as long as you want to. Mind you, if you ever do put your differences aside-"

"I wouldn't count on it, Alf," the young man immediately shook his head. "I know everyone else wants to believe that he has changed, but I don't. I don't like him, I don't trust him as far as I could throw him and I honestly don't see that changing any time soon."

"Fair enough," Alf said reasonably. "It was worth a shot, eh?" He brushed the crumbs from his trousers and stood up. "Now if you'll be alright here, I promised Leah that I would pop in and give her a hand."

"Go ahead. I'll be fine."  

"Oh, and before I forget," he pulled a letter out of his shirt pocket. "I've got a letter here for Kane, from young Kirsty apparently. Dani gave it to me this morning, she wanted me to give it to him but I haven't seen him at all today. Reckon his aunt must have had a bad night and he's staying in with her. Perhaps Emma could give it to him if she sees him later?"

"Right," Even before he had the letter in his hands, his suspicions were raised. What was Kirsty doing writing to Kane, her ex-boyfriend who was now with his sister?

When Alf had gone, Benny stared at the envelope for a few minutes, not able to shake off the feeling that something wasn't right. Finally he decided that it wasn't the time for morals and opened it. He read it once, then a second time and a third, not wanting to believe what was written there, even if he didn't trust Kane anyway. If any of it was true, he knew that it would break Emma's heart.  

He had so much to do that afternoon that he had barely had time to think much about the contents of the letter, though the feeling of anger that had risen upon reading it had settled in the pit of his stomach and would not go away. But when he was walking home, his mind came back to it and he found himself wondering about the situation. It was common knowledge that Kane and Kirsty had had a relationship some months before and that they had run away together, but Emma seemed certain that it was over, as did the rest of the Sutherland family. But was it really, or was that just what they wanted people to think? Was Kane merely using Emma to cover his tracks and stop people suspecting anything? Or was Kirsty just a silly little girl who couldn't let go of the past? Well he was going to find out, one way or another.

As he turned the corner, he noticed Kane on the other side of the road, heading the same way as him. _And what better time than now?_

"Philips!" Kane turned abruptly at the sound of Benny's voice. "I want to talk to you!"

"Right." Wondering what the older man could possibly want to say to him, Kane turned and crossed over to him. "What can I do for-?" He was cut off when Benny roughly grabbed at the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer, so that their faces were just inches apart. 

"What are you playing at, Philips?" he spat out. "What sick and twisted game are you playing with my sister?"

"What are you talking about?" Kane struggled, but that only served to make Benny angrier. "What's happened? What am I meant to have done?"

"Don't you play innocent with me, you little piece of scum! You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

"I have no idea." As Benny shoved him backwards; Kane stumbled and almost fell. "Honestly, I don't. If I've done something wrong, tell me and give me a chance to explain myself."

Benny scowled, reaching into his trouser pocket and pulling out a white envelope. "I'm talking about this. You and that Kirsty Sutherland. You must both think my sister a right fool."

"I don't know what you're getting at," Kane snatched the envelope from him and pulled out the letter. "Kirsty and I are just friends now, there is nothing going on…" He trailed off as he read the letter once, twice, suddenly understanding where Benny had gotten the idea. 

"That letter says differently."

"This is…" Kane shook his head, crumpling the letter in his hand. "You can't believe this. It's not…its all lies. A teenage girl's deluded fantasy. I don't want Kirsty; I love your sister. I love Emma. You have to believe that, Benny. I would never cheat on her, I would never do anything to hurt her."

Benny studied him for moment before he spoke. "I want to believe you," he said finally. "If only because I don't want to see Emma get hurt again. You seem to be telling the truth-"

"I am!"

"And you did appear genuinely surprised to read what she wrote there," he continued, as though Kane had not spoken. "So maybe you are telling the truth. But if that is the case, you need to have a serious talk with young Kirsty about where she stands and soon. And know that I will be keeping a very close eye on you, Philips. If you even give me reason to suspect that there is something going on between you and her behind Emma's back, I will make you suffer like you've never suffered before. Now get out of my sight, I've got a family to get home to."   

*~*~*~*

After dinner, Kane wandered the beach, his mind still on the letter and what Benny had said. After their conversation at the hospital and the way she had acted since he had returned, defending him against the people who wanted to split up him and Emma, he honestly hadn't realised that she still had such strong feelings for him. He knew that Benny was right, for everyone's sake, Kirsty's, Emma's and his own, he had to talk to her and set her straight, explain that nothing was ever going to happen between them again. But he doubted that it was going to be that easy.

After half an hour or so of wandering up and down, pausing occasionally to throw stones into the sea, he was just starting to consider going home when he saw Kirsty sitting on some rocks. After glancing around to make sure that they were alone, Kane went over to her. She was staring out to sea, thinking of nothing in particular, not taking notice of anything until his shadow fell over her. "Hello Kirsty."

She looked up and her heart skipped a beat. "Kane?"

"I think we need to talk," he sat beside her, though still keeping his distance. For a moment he stared straight ahead, before turning to look at her. Though his tone was fairly pleasant, his expression was serious. "I got your letter. Benny gave it to me after he had read it himself and come to some rather interesting assumptions."

"Oh no," Kirsty's cheeks burnt with embarrassment. "What did he say? He didn't-"

"He thought that we were seeing each other," Kane told her wearily. "I managed to persuade him that it wasn't what it seemed, but when I read the letter, I could understand why he assumed what he did."

"I didn't mean to cause you any trouble, Kane." She caught his hand and he flinched, but didn't pull away. "I didn't even plan to give it to you, I just wanted to get my feelings out. I love you, Kane."

He sighed. "I thought we went over all this when I was in hospital. We agreed that we could just be friends."

"And I thought we could, I really did." There were tears in her eyes and she quickly brushed them away. "I thought that being your friend would be better than not having anything to do with you and I really do want you to be happy. I tried so hard to put everything behind me, but I just can't help the way I feel. I love you and seeing you with her breaks my heart."

"Kirsty…" Kane finally drew his hand away, although it took some effort, as she was unwilling to let go. "I know what you want me to say, but I can't say it." He paused and turned away, unsure of how to proceed. "I know things ended badly between us, that's my fault and I'm sorry. I'm not sure if our relationship could have ever worked, not without you betraying your family and I didn't want that, but I could have ended it differently, made it all easier for the both of us." Another pause. "You were the first person who saw anything good in me, who looked past all the bad things I've done in my life and saw the person underneath. I'd never been in love until I met you and you taught me to be a better person. And that's why there's a part of me that still loves you and why I will never forget what we shared." She looked at him hopefully and he sighed and shook his head.

"But that changes nothing," he continued. "I never wanted to hurt you, Kirst, but I've moved on. I love Emma and I love Jordan and I want to be with them. As much as I care for you, there is no way we can go back to how it was before, I'll be your friend if that's what you want, but nothing else. There will never be anything else between us." His voice softened slightly and he finally looked at her again. "I can imagine how hard this must be for you, but the sooner you try to accept it and move on, the happier you'll be. If you and Seb are finished, find someone else who you can have a proper relationship with, without the lies and secrets, the feelings of guilt. Don't dwell on what could have been, just think about the future."

"I'll try," Kirsty swallowed, fighting back the tears. She didn't want to cry, not in front of him. "I think I need to be alone now, to think about what you said."

"I think I should be going anyway," Kane stood up and awkwardly patted her shoulder. "I meant what I said, Kirsty, you've been a very good friend to me since I came back to the Bay and I'd hate to lose your friendship, but I'll completely understand if you feel that it would be too hard. I'll…see you around."

She nodded and he left, walking back down the beach and leaving her alone. She sat there for a long time, until darkness was beginning to fall and the light evening wind had dried the tears on her cheeks that she had no longer been able to hold back.  

Next chapter: Lucy finally gets her man and Kane and Emma discuss the possibility of taking their relationship to the next level.


	25. Chapter 24: Matters of the Heart

Chapter 24: Matters of the Heart

The next few weeks passed quickly and with no real incident. Lucy settled in well at school, and still spent most of her time with the Sutherlands, in particular Jade. She had also seen a lot of Dylan, and the more she saw of him, the more she liked him. The age gap didn't worry her, and she didn't even consider what her family would think, she just wanted a chance to go out with him. But he didn't really seem to notice her, not in the way she wanted him to. 

One lunchtime when she and Jade met Dylan in the Diner. Seb and Nick had stayed at school and they had no idea where Kirsty was, she had been avoiding them a lot, though they didn't know why. It didn't bother Lucy though, she much preferred Jade anyway. They were laughing and joking about the horrors of homework, when Dylan turned the conversation in a more serious direction.

"What's wrong with Kirsty these days?" he asked. "I saw her earlier and she looked really miserable."

"Kirsty gets like this sometimes," Jade shrugged and took a sip of her drink. "I asked her last night, but she just said it was nothing."

"It's probably about Seb," Lucy offered. "They still aren't speaking and he doesn't seem interested in making up."

"Well whatever it is, it is best to just leave her be. She'll snap out of it in the end."

They sat in silence for a moment or two, just thinking. 

"So how's your love life these days, Dylan?" Jade teased, suddenly changing the subject. "Anyone special?"

"Unfortunately not," he flashed one of his laid-back smiles. "You have anyone in mind?"

"Actually, I have. How about you and Lucy come out with me and Nick?" Jade suggested, quickly glancing at Lucy. "You know, like a double date?"

Dylan paused for a moment; then smiled again at them both. "Sure," he said. "Why not? Saturday night?"

"That's good for me," Jade nodded. "Lucy?"

"Fine," Lucy smiled broadly, feeling as though her heart was going to burst with excitement. "Saturday night will be absolutely fine."

* * *

With Lucy at school, Susan often at the Drop-In Centre or over at the Sutherland house and Benny and Jess both working, Emma was often left alone with Jordan and the two dogs. But although there were times when she wished that she could be at school too, learning and mixing with other people, she generally found things to occupy her time. If there was a bit of cleaning to be done, she would do it, or do some preparation for dinner. Just before lunch, she would take Jordan and the dogs for a walk, sometimes eating in the Diner or going to visit her brother at work. Some days they went to see Allee, who was out of hospital and making good progress, but was under strict orders to take things very easy, or occasionally stopped by to see Leah. Sometimes she took care of VJ for a few hours while his mum was working. 

Kane spent his mornings pouring over the job section in the paper, driving around Yabbie Creek, looking for a job. He was beginning to grow desperate, his savings wouldn't last for much longer and he had no idea what he would do if he didn't have a job by the time they ran out. He had his aunt to think about, and although he knew that Emma expected nothing from him, he liked taking her out, buying things for little Jordan. 

They often met up in the afternoons, even if only for an hour or so. If it were a particularly nice day, they would go to the beach, or they would go to Kane's house, watch videos and talk. Sometimes they went to Emma's house, but not often, they both felt a little uncomfortable knowing that Benny could return early or that Susan could walk in at any time. They also spent at least three evenings a week together, while Susan, Jess or Leah looked after Jordan. It was a nice arrangement, one that suited them both.

One cloudy afternoon, when Leah had taken Jordan for a couple of hours, they were lying on Kane's sofa, watching TV and fooling around, tickling each other and kissing. They were involved in a particularly passionate kiss when Kane decided to take things a step further.

Slowly, wanting to see her reaction but not wanting to overstep the mark, he slid his hands under her loose shirt and began to stroke the bare skin of her back. It felt nice, but Emma still froze, afraid that he would try and go further. 

"Don't!" She sat up quickly. "Please don't!"

"It's alright," Kane sat up too, though he made no attempt to touch her just then. "It's alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"No, it's me," Emma shook her head, a little embarrassed. "What you were doing was all right, it was nice. It's just I…I know it sounds stupid, but I just started worrying that you might want to go further. I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet."

"Come here," Kane put his arms around her and held her tightly. She leant against him, resting her cheek again his shoulder. "There's no rush," he whispered, gently rubbing her back. "I don't want you to think I'm pressuring you, we'll take things as slowly as you want to. It doesn't matter to me."

"Really?"

"Yes," he murmured, brushing his lips against the top of her head. "I can't deny that I've been thinking about it and I really want to…want us to sleep together, because I love you and I want to be close to you, show you just how much you really mean to me. But I only want us to do it when you're certain that you're ready. I can wait as long as it takes, and I will."

Emma raised her head to look at him. "No pressure then?" 

"No pressure," Kane promised, taking the opportunity to kiss her gently. "We'll go as slow as you need to. You make the rules." 

She continued to look at him, eyes wide. "I need to ask you a question," she said quietly, "and I need assurance that you will be totally honest with me. Even if I don't like the answer…I still want to know."

"Of course I'll be honest," Kane promised. "What's on your mind?"

"Have there been-" Emma hesitated briefly, "many other women?"

"A couple," he admitted, "but nothing serious. There was a girl before I came to Summer Bay; that was my first time. Just the one time, I was a bit too screwed up to have any proper relationships back then. Then I had a brief relationship with a girl after I left Kirsty…it was a kind of a rebound thing and it didn't last any longer than a few weeks. And there was Dani, but that…"

"Was different," she finished for him. There was a long pause. "So neither of them meant anything to you?"

"It was just sex, plain and simple." He looked into her eyes as he spoke and Emma was sure that he was telling the truth. "On both sides, neither of them wanted anything more either."

"I see." He took her hands in his and Emma let him. "What about Kirsty, you never slept with her?"

"No," Kane immediately shook his head. "We were…tempted, but we never did. Even though we were in love back then, and you can't help whom you fall in love with, it still felt so wrong."

"It was wrong," Her eyes fixed on his; she gently reached up to touch his cheek. "I know that sometimes people fall in love with people they shouldn't, but I have to take Dani's side. If Lucy started seeing the man who…hurt me, I would never be able to forgive her for such a deep betrayal. And nothing will stop me detesting him for the rest of my life, even if he made a public apology. Dani is braver and more forgiving than I am, she was able to forgive Kirsty in the end, and give you a second chance, but to expect her to accept you as a couple was expecting far too much. I'm glad that you had the sense to not let things go too far."

"I never should have got involved in the first place." Kane squeezed her hands tightly; afraid that what he was going to say might make her pull away. "I should have been stronger and walked away at the beginning, before our feelings had grown too strong. I behaved so stupidly, I know. But she was the first person to look beyond everything I'd done in the past and she said she loved me…no one had ever said that to me before. And I was afraid that no one else ever would…be able to love me, I mean."

"Well that's not true!" Emma said at once. "Is it? Because I know the things you did before and I love you despite them. You hear that? I love you, Kane Philips. Just don't forget that."

They settled back on the sofa and Kane slid a hand back under her shirt, just allowing it to rest on her back but made no attempt to go further. Though they settled back into watching the program, Emma couldn't concentrate. She was thinking about earlier events… 

Next chapter: Dani, Allee, Hayley and Emma have a girl's night in.


	26. Chapter 25: A Girl's Night In

**Chapter 25: A Girl's Night In**

A few nights later, Dani, Allee, Hayley and Emma got together at Dani's place. Kirsty and Jade were staying with Lucy, allowing the four girls to have the room to themselves and Susan was looking after Jordan, allowing Emma to have a night off for the first time in quite a while. She was a little worried about being apart from him for the whole night, but she knew he was in good hands. Allee had been out of hospital for a fortnight, after thankfully being given the all clear, though she was still under orders to take it easy. There was always the possibility that the cancer could come back, but that was something that neither she nor her friends thought much about. She was determined to enjoy life as much as possible, however much time she had left.

They watched a couple of videos, a romantic comedy for Hayley and Allee and a horror film for Dani and Emma, while they ate pizza and crisps and drank coke. Then they took it in turns to do each other's hair and make-up. Dani did Emma while Hayley took Allee. And while they messed around, the subject of conversation quickly turned to men.

"Duncan has been completely supportive through everything these last few weeks," Allee told them. "He was really upset when he first found out, then he visited me every day in hospital and brought me flowers. And this of course." She held up her wrist to show her friends her new silver bracelet. "He tried to cheer me up when I got depressed and he held me when I needed to cry. I'm so glad he came back."

"I'm lucky to have Noah too," Hayley smiled fondly. "It's not always easy, especially now that we are living together, we argue about stupid things and sometimes he gets jealous, but we always work through things in the end. That's what it's like to love someone, they drive you made at times, but you couldn't imagine being without them."

"How about you, Emma?" Allee asked, applying some blusher to Hayley's cheek. "How are things going with you and Kane?"

There was a slightly uncomfortable pause. Emma and Dani glanced at each other.

"I don't really think it's a good time to talk about him-" she started, but Dani shook her head.

"It's fine, really," she insisted. "Come on, tell all."

"Well, there isn't really much to tell," Emma shifted uncomfortably, aware that they were all watching her. "We have been seeing a lot of each other recently and that's been good, the more I see him, the more I like him." She smiled nervously. "He's absolutely brilliant with Jordan and Jordan loves him too. Calls him daddy now."

"That's sweet." The three girls smiled and Emma nodded.

"Yeah," she agreed. "It is. And Kane knows and accepts that my son comes before everything else." There was a brief pause. "I know he did some terrible things before, but I can see that he is sorry and he has changed. He's very special to me. In fact," she blushed faintly, "I'm thinking about sleeping with him soon."

"Really?" There was a lot of giggling and Emma blushed even harder.

"I'm very nervous about it," she admitted. "I'd be lying if I said that I was completely sure about it all. But I do trust Kane and I feel safe with him and it feels like the right time to…at least move things on a little. After all, I can't let what happened ruin the rest of my life."

"Good for you," Dani squeezed her hand affectionately. "Just take it slowly, okay? And don't get too upset if it doesn't work for a while. Josh and I, even though I wanted to do it, it still took me quite a bit of time before I could. We first slept together on my eighteenth birthday and it really was worth the wait."

"I intend take it slowly," Emma assured them. "Kane has been very patient so far and I know he won't try and push me. He says there is far more to our relationship than sex and that we'll only go as far as I'm ready to go."

"Just make sure you tell us all the details afterwards," Allee giggled. "Like whether he keeps his socks on-"

"Josh does that sometimes!"

"Or if he's really loud-"

"Noah!"

"Or if he grunts like a pig!"

That was enough to set them all off and they collapsed in giggles, all serious thoughts completely forgotten.

**Next Chapter: **Some very red faces and rather hurt feelings…


	27. Chapter 26: A Bit of a Shock

A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. All comments and suggestions are always very welcome. Next chapter will be posted at the end of June, when my exams are over.

**Chapter 26: A Bit of a Shock**

After her conversation with her friends, Emma thought about her relationship with Kane quite a lot over the following days. The thought of being with him, touching him and having him touch her, was exciting but also frightening. Finally she decided that the best thing to do would be to let things develop at a natural pace.

Several days later, on one particularly hot day, she and Kane took Jordan to the beach, anxious to get out. As they wandered past the Diner, Emma couldn't help but feel sorry for Lucy and Kirsty and Jade. It was a wonderful day, but also a school day and they would be stuck a hot classroom for most of the day. However, the fact that all the young people were at school meant that the beach wasn't too crowded and they were able to get a good space to sit, not too far from the sea. 

They built sandcastles, which Jordan took great delight in destroying, and played in the water for a while before Kane went to get them something to eat. Then they went in the sea again before getting some ice cream and slowly beginning the walk home.

"It's been a lovely day," Emma whispered, slipping her arm around her boyfriend's waist. He was holding Jordan, who was beginning to fall asleep, but he wrapped his free arm across her shoulders and pulled her closer. "I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time."

"Me neither," he smiled and kissed the top of her head. "It feels good, being with you and Jordan. After so long, it's like I've finally found somewhere I belong."

"I'm glad. You know, after Jordan was born, I thought it would just be him and me from then on, I didn't think we needed anyone else. But we really like having you with us." As the house came into view, she stopped and fumbled in the pocket of her shorts, searching for her keys. "I think our little man needs a nap."

The house was empty, apart from the two dogs who greeted them eagerly. Slipping off her shoes, Emma took her son from Kane's arms and carried him over to the sofa. "You're getting heavy, you big lump."

"Big lump!" Jordan giggled sleepily. She put him down, placing a cushion beneath his head, taking care to ensure that he was comfortable. "Me go night-night now." His thumb found its way into his mouth and he was soon asleep.

"He's exhausted," Emma kissed her sleeping son, brushing his hair from his eyes. "Too much excitement. Do you want a drink?" Kane glanced at the clock. "Benny's working late tonight, so don't worry."

"I just don't want any trouble." He allowed her to take his hand and pull him into the kitchen. "But if you're sure he won't be back…"

"I'm sure. Relax."

She reached up to get two glasses from the top cupboard and Kane took the opportunity to attack her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her ear.

"I do love you, Em," he whispered. "Really I do."

She turned and embraced him, pressing her lips to his. He hesitated, mildly surprised, but then decided that it didn't matter and kissed her back. Though the kiss was slow and gentle to begin with, it quickly grew more passionate. Not removing his mouth from hers, he lifted her up and placed her on the top of the table. She ran her hands over his bare shoulders, his back, silently admiring the firm muscles. Kane followed her lead, slowly sliding his hands under his open shirt and around to her back, gently teasing the warm skin with his fingers. Emma made no move to stop him, even as he unfastened the clasp of her bikini top, removing it completely and throwing it aside. As her fingers slid through his hair, he moved away from her mouth and started on her neck, alternating kisses with gentle nips. She said nothing but moaned softly, urging him on. It felt right and it was what she wanted.

Suddenly the kitchen door opened and Lucy, Kirsty and Jade entered, chatting happily about their day at school. They froze at the scene in front of them, the sight of the couple wrapped around each other, Kane in just his shorts, Emma with her shirt open, both flushed. Kane drew back slightly and Emma quickly pulled her shirt closed. Both were a little embarrassed at being caught in such a position, but Emma still met Kirsty's eye and smiled faintly, triumphantly. Lucy grinned, more amused than anything else. She had suspected that Kane and Emma's relationship was pretty serious. Jade mumbled an apology and averted her eyes, while Kirsty just looked upset. She tried to make eye contact with Kane, but he avoided looking at her.

"I…guess we got a little carried away," Emma said finally, trying to break the awkward silence. She did up three of her buttons and slid off the table. "I'm sorry about that." None of the girls replied. "Come on, Kane. We should go and check on Jordan." Kane nodded briefly to the younger girls and followed his girlfriend through to the living room.

"Well that was…" Lucy struggled for words, "a bit of a shock."

"Just a little," Jade agreed, smiling faintly. "I suppose it was a good thing it was us and not your brother."

"Yeah," she winced. "There wouldn't be anything left of Kane if Benny had walked in and seen that. Are you all right, Kirst?"

"I…I'm fine!" Kirsty managed to stammer out. Seeing Kane and Emma in such a compromising position had been quite a shock. "I just…need some air, that's all."

She opened the door and fled. Lucy and Jade quickly followed her.

"What's the matter with you?" Jade asked, beginning to grow worried. "Do you feel sick?"

"I'm fine!" Kirsty repeated weakly. "I just…I didn't realise that Emma and Kane were…"

"What does it matter if they are?" Lucy asked at once, defending her sister as always. "What business is it of yours? Are you jealous?"

"No! No, I just…"

"Good! Because it's over between you and Kane and it has been for a long while. He loves Emma, everyone can see that but you!" She narrowed her eyes, glaring at her friend. "And I don't like people trying to upset my sister. You stay away from him, Kirsty, or you will have me to answer to."

She turned and walked off, back indoors. Kirsty looked at her twin for support, but Jade looked away from her and said nothing.

**Next Chapter:** Kirsty turns to Kane for comfort when Seb rejects her, but there are heavy consequences when they get a little carried away.


	28. Chapter 27: Big Trouble

**Author's Note:** A little Kirsty/Kane moment and some violence.

**Chapter 27: Big Trouble**

With Lucy's relationship with Dylan moving slowly but steadily, though she hadn't mentioned their involvement to any of her family yet, and Jade and Nick going strong, the four of them spent a lot of time together and Kirsty felt more and more pushed out. It wasn't intentional, they always invited her to come out with them, but she couldn't spend too long around the two happy couples, it just made her feel miserable.

Left alone, she found herself thinking of Seb a lot, wondering if there was any chance of giving their relationship another try. Although it was Kane she really loved, she knew that nothing was likely to happen between them, at least not for some time. And Seb was funny and kind and she enjoyed his company and really did care for him. Besides, they had been getting on brilliantly until Kane had returned…so why couldn't they try again? Surely, she reasoned, in time she could grow to love him like she loved Kane.

However, when she finally got Seb alone in the Diner, she discovered that he didn't really agree to her plans.

"I know things haven't been good between us lately," she touched his arm and was hurt when he moved away. "But I want to put all this Kane business behind us. I want to start again."

"I'm not interested in being second best, Kirsty," he told her coldly. "I know you only want me because you can't have him."

"That's not true, Seb-"

"Yes, it is. And that is what hurts the most. I was there for you when he left you; I helped you pick up the pieces. I thought we were friends as well as boyfriend and girlfriend."

"We are! We really are! That's what makes our relationship so good."

"But after all that, you are still lying to me," he said angrily. "Face it, Kirsty, it's him you really want, not me. The least you could do is admit it. Well, I won't be used by you any more. It's over between us, for good."

"Seb-"

"I mean it," he stood up and began to walk away. "Our friendship, our relationship, it's over, finished, done with. Goodbye, Kirsty. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Please, Seb…" she whispered, but he had already gone, leaving her alone with their milkshakes. Alf watched Seb go and shook his head sadly.

Kirsty left the Diner in a daze. Maybe it had been selfish of her, but she had expected Seb to be delighted at the idea of them trying again. He had always told her how much he loved her and he had been really upset by the idea of Kane coming between them. She was so upset that when she bumped into Kane, she barely registered that it was him, she certainly didn't want to stay and talk. "I'm sorry, I've got to go." Brushing him aside, she hurried off.

"Hey Kirst!" Hearing Kane calling her name instantly made her feel better. He cared enough to follow her; that had to be a good thing. She managed a brief smile as she turned to face him. He looked concerned. "Are you all right?"

"I…I had another argument with Seb. He says that we're over for good."

"I'm sure he didn't mean it," Kane tried to sound reassuring. "He just needs a bit more time to get used to me being around. You'll work things out eventually."

"No," Kirsty's voice shook a little. "No, he really means it. We were really good friends, but now he seems to hate me."

"Don't be silly." Without thinking, Kane gave her a hug. It was only meant to be a friendly hug, but the way she clung to him made him feel uncomfortable. "Kirst…" she looked up at him and smiled. " I don't think…"

But before he could finish, she was kissing him. He knew it was wrong, he knew that he should push her away, but he didn't. He let her kiss him, and then closed his eyes and kissed her back. He didn't think, he just let it happen.

"Kane!" He recognised Emma's voice and suddenly realised what he was doing. Horrified, he pushed Kirsty away and turned to his girlfriend. She looked stunned. Dani was with her, and Benny. Dani looked shocked and angry, while Benny was absolutely furious.

"Emma, I can explain…"

"I knew there was something going on between you two!" Before Kane had a chance to react, Benny's fist caught him in the side of the face. As he stumbled backwards, a second punch hit him in the mouth, sending him to the floor. "You lying piece of scum! I'll kill you!" In a complete rage, he began kicking Kane over and over again. It was all the younger man could do to curl up in a ball and protect his face.

"Don't hurt him!" Kirsty attempted to pull the bigger man away from him, but Benny just shook her off and she fell. She made no move to get up, just stayed sitting on the ground, shouting at him through her tears. "Please, don't hurt him! It's my fault too!"

Dani looked at Emma, wondering what she would do. But she said nothing, just watched as her brother kicked Kane again and again. Dani wasn't sure she was fully aware of what was going on. She seemed to be in shock.

Attracted by the noise, Jesse came out of the gym. Taking just a brief glance at the situation, he acted quickly, grabbing Benny's arms and pulling him away from Kane.

"Easy, mate," he said gently. "Whatever's happened, I'm sure violence isn't the answer."

"Oh, it's definitely the answer," Benny growled. "I'm going to break every bone in his body!"

"No!" Emma suddenly snapped out of her daze and they all turned to look at her. "Leave him alone now, brother, please. He's not worth getting yourself in trouble over. Come on, please let's just go home."

Looking at her, seeing how strong she was being, his anger faded just a little. As much as he wanted to kill Kane for hurting his little sister, he knew that she was right. "Alright," he agreed and Jesse released him. "Let's just get you home."

"Will you be okay?" Dani asked and Emma nodded. "I'll call you later."

"Thanks," she took Benny's arm and gently steered him away. "And thank you, Jesse."

"Emma!" Kane managed to look up at her, through a badly swollen eye. "Please just let me explain."

Benny turned to go back, stopped only by his sister's pleading glance. "I've got nothing to say to you, Kane Philips," she said levelly. "If you want to be with Kirsty, then be with her. Right now, I couldn't care less. Just…don't talk to me."

They walked away and didn't look back. Completely ignoring Dani and Jesse, Kirsty was at Kane's side immediately. His face was a mess, his mouth and his nose both bleeding, his cheek grazed, a bruise already beginning to form below his eye, and he seemed a little dazed.

"It's all right, Kane," she patted his shoulder and he winced and flinched away from her. "You should go to the hospital. Just to get checked over-"

"I don't want to go to the hospital!" Kane said abruptly, roughly. Cautiously, he got to his feet, clutching his side. His ribs really hurt. Kirsty took his arm, trying to support him.

"That man is mad. I hope you are going to the police about this. He had no right to do this to you."

"I didn't ask what you thought!" Kane pushed her away from him. "Just leave me alone, Kirsty! Leave me alone!"

He limped off, briefly nodding his thanks to Jesse as he passed, leaving Kirsty in a fresh flood of tears. She had just wanted Kane back; not for things to turn out like this.

"Dani," she turned to her older sister, but Dani turned away in disgust.

"I don't want to be around you right now, Kirsty," she said sadly. "Just go home."

Kirsty looked at her through her tears before finally realising that her sister meant what she said. She turned and fled, running in the direction of the caravan park.

Jesse looked at Dani questioningly. "What was all that about?" he asked.

She sighed. "We caught Kirsty and Kane kissing. Right here outside the gym where anyone could see."

"Oh dear. No wonder Benny went so mad. What where they playing at?"

"I don't know," Dani shook her head sadly. Why couldn't her sister just let go? Couldn't she see that people were going to get hurt? "I really don't know."

**Next Chapter:** Dani and Jade let Kirsty know exactly what they think of her behaviour, while Kane tries to make amends.


	29. Chapter 28: Making Amends

**Chapter 28: Making Amends**

****

The next day brought three very hurt and upset teenagers with it. Kane had gone straight home, hoping his aunt would be asleep so he wouldn't have to explain why he was such a mess. Luckily she was and he was able to slip up to the bathroom and clean himself up a little. Just seeing himself in the mirror horrified him. His face was a bloodied mess and even when he wiped away the drying blood, it didn't look much better, his lip swollen to twice its size, his left cheek badly grazed, bruises just below his right eye and on his jaw, his nose still sore. And a quick inspection of his side revealed a fresh line of bruises developing, at least three or four, though some of them seemed to be merged together.

He had a bad night, partly because of the pain and partly because he was cursing himself about how stupid he had been. Things had been going so well for him and he had risked it all because of one stupid, meaningless kiss. He knew that he didn't want Kirsty, so he should have told her to stop it or pushed her away instead of letting the memories of the things they had shared in the past influence him. Well this was it as far as he was concerned, from now on he was just going to stay well away from her. He didn't blame Benny for doing what he had; he had only been trying to look after his sister and Kane had no intention of reporting him to the police or doing anything else to try and get revenge. All he wanted to do was convince Emma that it had been a stupid mistake, but he knew that it wouldn't be easy. Still, he was determined not to let her go without a fight.

Over at the Sutherland house, Kirsty wasn't doing much better. She had gone straight home to bed and cried herself to sleep before either of her sisters came in. She woke up during the night, and lay staring up at the ceiling for ages before finally going back to sleep.

When she got up, her parents and Max had already left but Dani and Jade were sitting at the table eating their breakfast. When Kirsty entered the room, they immediately stopped talking and ignored her completely, even when she greeted them.

"Don't do this," she pleaded. "Things are difficult enough as it is without you ignoring me as well."

"Perhaps you should have thought of that before you started throwing yourself at Kane!" Dani said sharply. "What's wrong, don't you want him to be happy?"

"We were happy!" Kirsty insisted. She could feel the tears coming again. "We still would have been if people hadn't kept interfering. And we can be again, as soon as he realises that he really wants me!"

"No, Kirst." Jade didn't sound angry, just sad. "As much as you want that, it isn't going to happen. I'm sure he's fond of you, but he loves Emma. You know this and pretending otherwise is just going to hurt you more."

"I can't pretend I don't love him!" She wiped her eyes and looked at Dani. "I never wanted to hurt anyone. Not you, not Emma, but I can't just turn my feelings off. I need him."

"Stay away from him, Kirsty," Dani said gently. She was torn between being angry with her younger sister and feeling sorry for her for it was obvious that she was upset and confused. "Just stay away from him. It'll be the best thing for everyone."

Kirsty looked at them both stonily for a minute and then turned and left. They watched her go in silence.

"Do you think she'll take your advice?" Jade asked finally.

"I don't know, Jade," Dani shook her head. "But I hope she does. For her own sake."

Surprisingly, Emma seemed to be holding up well. She had said little when she and Benny had got in, briefly telling her mum and Jess what she had seen, but insisting that she didn't want to talk about it. And she said nothing about Benny's revenge on Kane, not wanting to get him into any trouble. She just took Jordan from her mum and took him up to give him a bath. Lucy got in soon after and went right up to see her sister.

"Don't you worry, Em," she gave her big sister a hug. "You are much better than Kirsty and if Kane can't see that then he's just a loser."

"Kirsty is so much prettier than me."

"And she's also selfish and shallow and a complete cow! If Kane really prefers her to you, then he's not worth it."

"I still love him, Lucy. I hate him, but I love him too."

"I know, Em," Lucy held her tightly. "I know."

As she promised, Dani called later to see how she was and Allee phoned just after. Emma told them both that she was fine. It wasn't strictly true, but she wasn't upset, she was far too angry for that. Though it was late, Allee wanted to come round, but Emma persuaded her that all she wanted to do was go to bed and that she would see her the following day.

She had a brief cry that night while seeing to Jordan, taking care to keep as quiet as she could so as not to wake her family, but the next morning she was strong, ready to face up to things. Picturing Kane with Kirsty still hurt and she wondered if she had been a fool for ever trusting him, though that didn't stop her loving him. But if he wanted to just throw everything they had away then that was his choice. She was determined to waste no more tears on him.

Since it was a Sunday, Benny, Jess and their mum had all left for work or to see friends. Lucy had decided to spend the morning with Emma and Jordan and meet up with Jade, Nick and Dylan in the afternoon. While Emma was getting Jordan's shoes on, Lucy opened the front door to let some air in to the house.  

"Emma!" she called her sister, sounding both excited and a little annoyed. "Come here and look at this!"

After removing Jordan from his chair, Emma went to see what was wrong with her sister. On the doorstep was a huge bunch of red roses. She picked them up and searched for a card, though she had a pretty good idea who they were from. _I love you_, it said simply. _Please can we talk?_

"What are you going to do with them?" Lucy asked her. "I wish someone would send me red roses. He must really love you."

Emma's heart melted just a little as she looked down at the roses in her arms. Her last boyfriend would have never done anything as romantic as buying her flowers and she knew that Kane could barely afford to make such a gesture. But then she remembered how he had been holding Kirsty and her anger returned. "He should have thought of that before he started kissing that little tart in the middle of the street. Is he really stupid enough to think that flowers will make everything better?"

She pulled the all the heads off the stalks and scattered the ruined flowers across the lawn, before storming inside and slamming the door shut.

Kane, who had been walking the whole thing from behind a tree, sighed and shook his head. It was really beginning to seem like he had blown it, but he wasn't going to give up. 

**Next Chapter:** Kane's persistence gets results. 


	30. Chapter 29: One Step Further

**Chapter 29: One Step Further**

That afternoon, when Lucy had left them to meet Jade, Nick, Seb and Dylan in the Diner, Emma took Jordan down to the jetty to see the boats to try and cheer him up. He was teething and was very irritable, crying constantly. In the end, she decided that it would be better to take him home. On the way back, they stopped to get him an ice-cream. Emma was just paying for it when Jordan suddenly stopped crying. A smile crossed his tearstained face. "Daddy!" he screeched happily. "Daddy!"

"Oh no," Emma muttered under her breath. "Please, no."

"Hello Emma," casually Kane walked up to them and smiled down at Jordan. "Hello there, little one," he said fondly. "How are you doing?"

"Got ice-cream." Jordan held it up to show him. Seeing Kane had made him a lot happier

"Get away from him!" Emma said fiercely. "Leave my baby alone, just leave us alone."

"Emma, I just want to talk to you. Please listen to me…"

"Well I don't want to talk to you." Seeing that she was beginning to get a little worked up, Kane tried to place a reassuring hand on her arm, but she quickly moved away from him. "What's wrong, Kirsty decided that she doesn't want you after all?"

"It wasn't like that-"

"Get away from me!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he raised his hands in defence and backed away from her. "I just wanted to see how you were both doing, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you betrayed me," she hissed at him. "Come on Jordy, let's get you home for a nap. Stay away from us, Kane. Right now I have nothing to say to you."

She walked off, head held high, not looking back. Jordan looked back however and waved. "Bye bye daddy."

"That's not daddy, Jordan," he heard Emma say, just before they turned the corner and disappeared from sight. She sounded sad. "That's just Kane."

* * *

That night, Emma was restless. She lay away until late, long after the rest of her family had fallen asleep. She read for a while, using her bedside lamp so as not to wake Jordan, but mostly she just stared up at the ceiling and thought about things. She was very confused about how she was feeling. Part of her was really angry with Kane, not only for kissing Kirsty but also for making her look like a fool, and she wanted to hurt him in return. But she couldn't deny that she still loved him and she wondered if she was being a little harsh in not giving him a chance to explain.

Finally, just after midnight, she gave up and went downstairs to make a drink. The kettle had just boiled when there was a tap on the back door. Laddie, who had followed her down and was lying under the kitchen table, growled uncertainly. Emma stared at the door but made no move towards it. There was a second knock and then another. Cautiously she moved nearer. "Who's there?"

"It's Kane."

"What are you doing here?" she rubbed at her eyes, wondering if it were all just a dream. "Stalking me? I've already told you that I don't want to talk to you. And if Benny catches you here, you'll have some broken bones to add to your collection of injuries."

"I don't care. We need to talk and I'm not leaving here until you listen to what I have to say. If you go back to bed, I'll just sit out here all night."

"Then you are a fool. If you had any sense, you would have stayed well away after that beating you got yesterday." She winced again at the sight of his battered and bruised face. "Does it…hurt a lot?"

"A fair bit, yes."

"Well you shouldn't have expected anything else. Benny is very protective and he doesn't like you anyway. He's been waiting for an excuse to do that since we got together."

"I know," Kane admitted honestly. "That's why I'm not reporting this. He might have gone a bit over the top, but I did deserve it and I know he was only looking out for you."

"That's very noble of you," Emma said, a little sarcastically. "Forgive me if I don't thank you too much." She shook her head wearily. "Go home, Kane."

"Not until we've talked," he insisted. "Come on, come outside for a while and let me explain. Please."

"If that's what I have to do to get rid of you." She opened the back door, put it on the latch to ensure that it wouldn't lock and carefully closed it behind her. The upstairs lights were all off and there was no sound. It was a pleasant night, very warm. "Get on with it then. You have five minutes and then I'm going back to bed."

"Not in a forgiving mood then," he said jokingly, but she just scowled at him. "Look, Em, I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry."

"Is that the best you can do?"

Kane sighed and sat down on the front steps, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Will you please sit down?" She hesitated for a moment and then reluctantly did as he asked, though she took care to stay some distance away from him. "I honestly don't know what to say, Em. I know that I've hurt you and that was the last thing I wanted to do. What happened with Kirsty yesterday, I never planned for it to happen."

"Let me guess. You just slipped and fell on her lips?"

"Kirsty was upset. I tried to comfort her, like any friend would, and she just kissed me. And I just…forgot everything else, I got caught up in the memories, but I should have pushed her away."

"Maybe," she agreed neutrally. She certainly wasn't going to make it easy for him. "Or maybe this was just the way it was meant to be. There is already unresolved feeling between the two of you-"

"Don't be so stupid, Em!" he cut her off immediately, knowing what she was getting at. "That kiss, it was a big mistake and it meant absolutely nothing. It's you I want now, not her. If I wanted to be with her then I'd be with her now. I wouldn't have taken all this trouble to get you to talk to me if I didn't really love you and want to be with you, would I?"

"I suppose not," Emma's voice softened as she regarded her boyfriend thoughtfully. "I want to believe what you're saying Kane, though there are some who would say that makes me a fool. Maybe I'm over-reacting, but you can't even begin to imagine how difficult it was for me to let myself trust you after everything in the past and now you've done this…I'm just not sure whether I can get that back."

"I know that what I did was terrible," unable to hold back any longer, Kane took her hand. She didn't pull away, though she seemed tense. "I know that I hurt you a lot and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"I believe that you're sorry and I don't doubt that your regret is genuine." Emma looked into his eyes and smiled sadly before looking away. "That's not what I'm questioning. I don't know, maybe it would be better to end this now."

"No! You can't throw everything we have away over some stupid mistake!"

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Kane Philips!" She hissed angrily, pulling her hand away. "I'll do whatever I feel is best for me and my son."

"But-"

"Truth is," Emma continued, not giving him a chance to speak. "I've always been a little jealous of Kirsty. It's never been easy seeing her everywhere and knowing that you and her used to be together. And it doesn't help knowing that she is still in love with you. Lucy says that she talks about you all the time and it's clear that she believes that one day you are going to realise that it her you love and not me. I've tried to be understanding, I know there are unresolved feelings, I know you feel guilty about how it all ended and you've tried to be her friend, but enough is enough."

"I didn't realise you felt jealous of her," he took her hand again. "You should have said something."

"I didn't want to be seen as the jealous, clingy girlfriend. I figured that if you wanted to be friendly with her, it wasn't my place to try and stop you. Mind you, that was partly because I trusted you not to let anything go on behind my back."

"That's just one of the many things I love about you. You always try to understand. Please, can't we just put this down as a terrible mistake that will never be repeated? I can't bear the thought of losing you over this."

"How do I know that it will never be repeated, Kane?"

"I won't let it happen again," he swore. "I'll tell Kirsty that we can't be friends and it's best if we just stay away from each other and try to move on. I don't know if it will work, but I'll certainly stay away from her. If I do that, will you give me a second chance?"

"I will," she nodded and looked at him again. "I must be a fool, but I love you too much to let something like this break us up. I shall give you one last chance. On one condition."

He looked surprised. "What?"

"I really do need you to be sure that you want me and not her." Kane started to say something, but Emma shook her head and continued speaking. "I know what you have been saying and I do believe it, but I know that you aren't completely over her and sometimes I wonder if you are really being honest with yourself. Are you with me because you believe that you can't be with her, trying to get over her because it's what you believe you should do? I don't doubt that you love me Kane, but I suspect that you still love her too and part of you is torn. If you really want to be with her deep down, then I'd rather you told me now. It would hurt, but I'd prefer you to be honest with me."

"I want to be with you." He pulled her close and put both arms around her. "Me and Kirst are in the past. It's over; it's long finished. I'm with you now, this relationship is the best thing to happen to me in a long time and I am determined to make it work."

"I ask more for Jordan than myself," Emma went on quickly. It was important to her that he knew that she had real reasons for wanting to know. "He's never had a father before and he is beginning to accept you as one. I know that relationships don't always work out and things go wrong, but if you run out on us in six months or a year's time because you're confused about your feelings or you've suddenly decided that you want to be with Kirsty, it's really going to hurt him too. So for his sake as well as mine, I just need you to be sure-"

He kissed her, taking her completely by surprise. "I've never been more sure about anything. I love you and I love Jordan and I'll never do anything to hurt either of you again."

"See that you don't," she said, half joking and half serious. She ran her hand down his cheek, taking care to avoid the bruises. He started to say something, but she pressed a finger against his lips to silence him. "It's all over now. Let's just forget about it."

They kissed again, embracing fiercely. It was going to be all right, they could both feel it. As they drew apart, Emma looked into his eyes and saw what she wanted to see, saw how much he loved her.

"Stay with me tonight, Kane."

"Are you sure?" he asked gently. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do this, just because of what happened-"

"Do you really think I'd offer if it wasn't what I wanted? I still don't know if I'm really ready for this, but I want to try."

Kane nodded and said no more, just allowing his girlfriend to take his hand and lead him inside.

**Next Chapter:** Together again, Kane and Emma face her family and receive a mixed reaction, while Kirsty is put in her place.


End file.
